TaraMaiden Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 I would suggest we quit thread-jacking by the way. We can either continue in your 'other thread' or you can do this in PM's. Or not at all. But here - I'm addressing Adelle from now on, and her situation.... it's only fair.
Author Adelle Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 basically what it comes down to is BOTH parties need their needs met. Yes a healthy sex life is important i agree with that however i feel like more of a blow up doll then a g/f... i feel that my b/f is self centered and any concern i may have is out the window.. Little things like waking up to a "good morning " would be nice or walk in the park with out him acting like its a chore..Simple connection would be nice.
Author Adelle Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Also, simple things like picking up after yourself would even suffice im not a maid. im fed up with the lack of consideration on his end. He feels that he can come and go as he choses but has demands for me. Thats clearly unfair. So yes i am keeping my distance.
TaraMaiden Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 As the saying goes - when the sex is fine between a couple, it's 5% of the relationship. When it's not fine - it's 95% of the relationship. So, really, to summarise, two things. One: get yourself thoroughly checked out, medically. Two: I think you need to find a more sympathetic, understanding and supportive guy. Write this one off as someone with whom - in all probability - things would not have ended well, regardless of the sexual angle....
2sunny Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Maybe you're not a good match... I'd bet money you'd get your sex drive back with a hot guy paying lots of attention to your needs. 1
2sunny Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I thought I made it pretty clear in my other thread that I know the blame is on me! I'm a worthless piece of ****! I know full well why they all left me. I just have no idea how I managed to trick them into dating me in the first place. Well, no big deal. That's never gonna happen again. Get counseling - this unhealthy mindset will only attract unhealthy men.
TaraMaiden Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 fallenheart is a guy. Figures. Just what we need, another woman-hater....
2sunny Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 fallenheart is a guy. Figures. Just what we need, another woman-hater.... Oh ok. Same advice still stands... :-)
Zammo25 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 fallenheart is a guy. Figures. Just what we need, another woman-hater.... You do not know this guy and he has been brutally open and honest about his failings yet you still like the stick the knife in. Are you really such a wonderful woman as you seem to think you are ? For me the jury is well and truely out.
Zammo25 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Just changing threads still doesn't make you right. or any more endearing. If you want to discuss your depressive self-defeating tendencies, do it in the right thread, and don't take this one off topic any more. Thanks. Who was it who linked this thread to the other one ? YOU DID and that is why I remarked on it. You seem to think you are so so clever and you are clearly not as you linked this not me. You have been found out. In reality you are a 55 year old woman who is ordinary like the majority of us. You just think you are better.
TaraMaiden Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 No - I know I'm better. I'm older than you in all probability, have seen far more of the negative side of life than you will ever see - and I can still smile, have faith in my fellow human being, and know that there are more kind hearts on this planet than there are people like you. Which is uplifting for me, and all those who prefer not to wallow in the gutter. If this is truly the way you wish to continue existing, then that's fine by me. I feel for you, and wish I could help - but it's up to you to put one foot in front of the other and climb out of that deep dark and desperate hole you CHOOSE to dwell in. I and so many like me - just choose to not keep you company there.
Zammo25 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 " have faith in my fellow human being, and know that there are more kind hearts on this planet than there are people like you. " You do not have an idea of what I do for other people. How dare you ? Who the hell do you think you are ? You are saying I do not have a kind heart, you have made that assumption. You do not know me, you know nothing of what I have done for other people, as you see, I am a kind person with a big heart. You are really despicable.
TaraMaiden Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 (edited) You do not have an idea of what I do for other people. How dare you ? Who the hell do you think you are ? You are saying I do not have a kind heart, you have made that assumption. You do not know me, you know nothing of what I have done for other people, as you see, I am a kind person with a big heart. You are really despicable. Back atcha. You make similar assumptions. Like I said - don't dish it if you can't take it. If you would just once let your bitter defences down and listen to how other people are willing to support and help you - and if you are a kind person with a big heart, then surely you can recognise those qualities in others trying to reach out to you - maybe, just maybe you can emerge from this horrid place you insist on speaking from. I am not a despicable person. "Telling it like it is" doesn't automatically make someone despicable. Harsh? At times, definitely. But I'm nearly up to 12k posts. I must be doing something right. let people help you. don't just vent and lament - let people try to support you and come through this. Edited September 11, 2012 by TaraMaiden Jeesh! Past the 12k!!
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 yes, but what you don't seem to be able to compute is that in a healthy relationship. sex isn't the primary thing driving or keeping the relationship going. And something else he - and the OP's boyfriend, evidently - doesn't understand is that the sexual aspects in long term relationships typically do not remain static. They ebb and flow. People who want to remain together need to navigate through all of these changes. Maturely. Which the OP's boyfriend does not seem willing, or able to do. And once THE SEX PROBLEM becomes a gigantic monster in a relationship, it seems almost impossible to sort it out because of all the ego, self esteem, etc. issues that are attached to peoples' feelings about sex. 1
TaraMaiden Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 ...And apologies again to Adelle for the O/T posts. I sometimes wish, I really do, we humans wouldn't be so much "in our heads" when it comes to carnal stuff. I sometimes wish we could go at it as we wish, when we wish, without all the emotional angst we hook to it.... But emotions exist. And emotions have to be dealt with. Adelle, chin up.... I had a dreadful hormonal imbalance when I first married.... it took a while, but it got sorted. and I'm sure yours will too, if there is such an issue. If not - then I agree with 2sunny - you need to find someone who floats your boat....
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