lostandheartbroken Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half now. He is currently studying to be an engineer and we go to the same university. I understand that this study is really hard and that he is also a workaholic. He’s such a workaholic that he doesn’t want to go on dates because he finds them boring. I compromised and try to engage myself into his interests. Moving forward, a couple months ago my boyfriend and I got into a big argument about how he was ignoring me for weeks. I went to his house to confront him about it and he ended up literally pushing me out of his house. After a few days of me ignoring him, he realized that he wasn't treating me right. Since then, he promised me that would not ignore me anymore and that he will spend more time with me. A couple of months passed and unfortunately he is going back to his old ways. Summer quarter has ended and we are currently on a 2 week vacation before Fall quarter starts. He has been ignoring me for about a week, maybe longer. For the last couple days, I came to the conclusion to give him some space to do whatever he needs to do. However, it does not give him a reason to simply say hello, I’m busy can we talk later, or even spend at least an hour with me. I've tried getting in contact with him to see how he was doing...but no response. At first I was thinking maybe I was smothering him or something, so I stopped texting/emailing him and gave him space. I would call, but he doesn't pick up his phone anyways. He basically calls me whenever he wants. I honestly don’t mean to be a clingy/possessive girlfriend, but he’s giving me a reason to! The last time we spent time together is when I went to his house before finals, he seemed to be really affectionate at that time. And we left off on good terms. I’ve been so patient with him.I love him so much and I do not want to end things. I really don’t know what to do because I’m being ignored and it’s killing me! Any advice for me what to do? or to even get his attention?
Titanwolf Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 There's always a reason. Unless that reason is identified, he will always continue to slip back into old habits, even if he doesn't intend to.
january2011 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Your boyfriend is ignoring you because he prioritises his studies and the rest of his life over spending time with you. He doesn't want to go on dates because he finds them boring? He drops off the face of the earth for weeks on end? He manhandles you and kicks you out of his place when you try to talk to him about it? This guy's behaviour suggests that he doesn't want or need to be in a relationship. I agree with KungFuJoe, get a new boyfriend. And try to tune your people picker to find someone who is more respectful and is physically and emotionally available to be in a relationship.
KatZee Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 I'm sorry but you really can't even consider this guy a boyfriend. Going to be blunt--- You're NOT a priority. Not even a little bit. Everything and anything will always come before you... and that's the way it will always be, because you allow it. I would not tolerate for ONE SECOND a "boyfriend" ignoring me for weeks on end. Here's my motto: Wanna act single? Then go be single. You're nothing but a convenience to this guy. Whenever he has nothing to do, he'll get in touch with you for some free sex, or whatever else you're giving him to keep him around. You're pretty much every as*h0le's wet dream. You let him do whatever the hell he wants, under the pretense that you're being this "amazing girlfriend" and being "oh so patient" and then you're waiting around like a faithful dog whenever he snaps his fingers. You don't respect yourself, so, he does not respect you. He'll just string you along and take you for a ride until you actually wake up. You're sacrificing way too much of yourself... putting up with too much, and settling for too little. You deserve someone who's actually going to at least PRETEND to be interested in you. This guy couldn't show you that he cares any less if he even tried. PUSHED you out of his house?? This is what you think you're actually worth? A guy who's going to put his hands on you and physically remove you from his house? I'm questioning as to whether or not he had someone ELSE in the house with him. No one is THAT BUSY that they can't give you a 5 minute phone call. This guy is full of sh*t and you're believing every word he says. There's being patient, and there's being a doormat. You're nothing but a dirty, used up doormat. He's walked on you and wiped his feet on you so many times, I'm really surprised you've stayed as long as you have. Find someone better. 1
Leigh 87 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 You should not even BE in any relationship! You have no clue what normal behaviour is when it comes to being in love and in a happy relationship. If a guy loves and adores you, after a year he will NOT ignore you for a week! NO I repeat NO guy who loves you, will ignore you for a week after over a year together; It is not normal for a guy who loves you to just ignore you, if you have been together for over a year. Just no. It EVER happens. He is ignoring you because he is not in love with you to begin with! He probably likes you and enjoys your company, but if he loved you and really liked you, he would feel the need to talk to you most days. Please learn from this! I want you to realise some of the typical behaviour from men who are really in love with their girlfriends.. - men who are actually in love do not ignore there partner for more than a day or two, unless they are super, super busy and both parties have low needs contact wise.. But even still it is rare to go days without a guy contacting a girl he adores. - me who really like their girlfriends do not physically remove them from their house. That shows they have very low respect for you, and must not even like you much, in any sort of way. - it is actually laughable that a guy should remove his girlfriend of 1.5 years from his house; it is literally THAT ridiculous that you actually think that he loves you; when his behaviour clearly dictates otherwise. ...Just please get some self respect. Be proud of who you are, and strive to the the best you can in life; try your best at being you, be proud of who you are, and learn to value yourself, and expect that a great guy will surely value you just as much. Personally, I need a guy who is so into me, that he misses me after even a day or so! I deserve better than a guy who can go a week or more without even contacting me. I believe I have enough to offer, so that plenty of guys would adore me so much, that after even a day or twom they would think of me and miss me enough to want to see me again. You acting like you can not do better than a guy who does not even care if he sees you at all! Sorry that I have been so harsh, but you must learn a lesson from this, and realize how disinterested your partner is.
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