oldskl Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 I've seen so many 'you don't look like your profile photo... for the worse' threads; but has anyone experienced the opposite? Where the dating profile undersells them massively!? I'm preparing for a date with a 27 year old (I'm 26) who I've only yesterday added to facebook after good week of lengthy calls/messages. I was going to try and avoid the whole facebook thing until later as it gives too much away too soon, and I wanted to try getting to know someone the old fashioned way. So I did, for a week, and I am amazed at appreciating the value of a phone call now. However, she asked me if I was on facebook, so I said yes, and I added her. I am absolutely stunned as to why she didn't put some of her other photos up. Her dating profile doesn't do her justice at all, shes far more beautiful, elegantly pretty. Then again, maybe she has done so for a reason? To deter shallow people? On snooping at her photos, I suddenly feel well out of my league lol. Still, I liked her before I saw this, and now I guess I just feel a bit more lucky! Anyone else experienced this? 1
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Anyone else experienced this? Yes. I think women tend to pick the photo's they like of themselves. I think it would be very uncommon to intentionally tone down the quality of pictures posted. Things may have changed in the last few years, but I remember women used to post lots of activity shots.... skiing, wakeboarding, hiking, clubbing... ect. They don't tend to be the most flattering. However they do depict lifestyle... which is something I think women tend to want to see in a man's profile.
RedRobin Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 When I did OLD, I didn't post pictures at all. I was looking for men who were more interested in getting to know a woman... not doing the catalog shopping. Even though I came on that idea towards the end of my time in the OLD world (when I was burnt out by it), the quality of men I met went WAAYYY up when I did that. Proof to me that I was not shopping out of my 'league'... I was just effectively culling the herd. Should I ever do OLD again, that is how I"d go about it...
The Way I Am Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 (edited) I can see why a woman would not put up her best pictures. When I first tried OLD, I got a ridiculous number of messages, many from guys who I'm pretty sure hadn't even read my profile. I really didn't like getting a whole bunch of messages from guys I wasn't compatible with at all. And I didn't like having to reject or ignore them. Then I tried just having no photo but got no messages and no replies at all. Then I readded the photos and just set my profile to hidden so only guys I contacted first could see it. That was better. Putting up less flattering pictures might be a decent way to cut down on the number guys who contact without reading. Edited September 10, 2012 by The Way I Am
Ruby Slippers Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 When I did OLD briefly, I put up 2 normal photos - a face shot and a body shot with minimal makeup and styling. I have more glamorous looking pictures with all the whistles and bells, but I figured I'd save that look for a guy I meet, like, and want to continue dating. The feedback I got was "your photos don't do you justice", and with the guy I'm dating now, I get to keep ratcheting it up and making a strong impression over and over. 2
oaks Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Anyone else experienced this? Yes. Several times. I've also been told that I look better in person... but it's unclear how objective (or truthful) those comments were.
KathyM Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 My sister did a lot of online dating. The dates she met would often tell her they were pleasantly surprised when they met her because she looks even better than her photos on the site. Usually, people find the opposite is true, and the person who shows up for the date is either older than he represented, shorter, heavier, balder, or just not as attractive. She does look better in person than in photos, although her photos are attractive.
FitChick Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 If he has a big grin on his face when we meet, I know he's not disappointed. However, I do worry that I may be too photogenic so my additional photos may not have my best hairstyle or makeup or lighting because I want them to get a better overall picture of what I look like.
LC1976 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I one of those that get "You kinda look like your pics...but better". I also think that a strong personality will shine through. But thats just me.
Author oldskl Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 I know it is wrong to generalise, but I personally refuse to pursue girls who contact me with photos that they take themselves in a mirror on a camera phone. I'd much rather see photos of them in day to day life, doing things, hobbies, with friends etc than the best vain photo taken from probably a set of 50 takes in a mirror. 9 times out of 10 I think these staged photos hide a lot of things and make the person look a lot more 'photoshopped' than that actually are. Of course, seeing someone in real life, they won't look that staged ever. It does make me wonder. For me, posing photos ESPECIALLY paid for soft focus photographer photoshoot ones are an incredible turn off. I've seen dating sites recommend them, I mean, seriously? I'm a guy. I say a big no. Nobody looks like that all the time.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 9 times out of 10 I think these staged photos hide a lot of things and make the person look a lot more 'photoshopped' than that actually are. Of course, seeing someone in real life, they won't look that staged ever. Women know that we are, in a sense, competing with the imagery of models, actresses, and porn stars that men are bombarded with. And those are usually quite photoshopped and 'idealized' for the purpose of stimulating urges and selling things, getting you to do what they want you to do. Personally, I show authentic and nicely composed shots. Flattering photos with good lighting and the right angles, but nothing fake or over the top.
Author oldskl Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 Haha, I always thought of creating an earthy stripped back dating website that required you to provide a 'morning face' mugshot and an 'after warpaint' mugshot, and a general set of required photos that allowed people to be compared more easily next to eachother. ie, having a photo holding an orange and a banana in each hand. A photo with the alphabet on a sheet of paper to show your handwriting. A drawing of a house etc. Probably wouldn't catch on, but a quirky concept no less.
FitChick Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I'd much rather see photos of them in day to day life, doing things, hobbies, with friends etc than the best vain photo taken from probably a set of 50 takes in a mirror. What makes you think a photo of someone with friends, hobbies, out and about, etc., wouldn't be one of 50 takes? Photos taken outside in daylight are much more flattering than indoor shots, generally speaking. Also, they are usually taken farther away.
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