paperboy48 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 My ex wife was at our daughters cheerleading (football) game yesterday. She was with a girlfriend standing by the fence, I was with our son, sitting in t bleachers. While there....she got on her cell phone (making it very easy for me to see her) for a while...smiling and giggling etc. Not the kind of smiling while in conversation with a friend, this is the kind of smiling from a new love in your life, etc. I have suffered for over nine months...I did not cheat on her. We just did not get along anymore and she decided to end it. Why can't she just let me go on with my life. I have accepted this situation for what it is. why must she make me jealous and cause me further pain? I think I am going to text her and ask her why she feels it's necessary to cause me further pain?
Balzac Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Man have a little pride. She's not causing your pain, it's loss and your broken heart. Sure, she ended it and your miserable but it gets easier over time. The worst is during family times, like kids football. Feel the misery, move on, stop allowing what she does or doesn't do to hurt you. That's on you. She's taken enough from you, don't keep shoveling your self respect into her truck too. 1
Calico Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Next time, bring an attractive female friend that she doesn't know. If you don't have one, rent an escort for the day. (I'm only semi-serious.) 1
january2011 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 If you must attend the same functions, don't sit/stand in the same part of the audience. You weren't there for you, you were there for your daughter. Focus on that and watch your daughter, not your ex-wife.
Author paperboy48 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 (edited) If you must attend the same functions, don't sit/stand in the same part of the audience. You weren't there for you, you were there for your daughter. Focus on that and watch your daughter, not your ex-wife. Your right but a little easier said than done ....besides when i first got their she went for a walk with her friend and then went to stand in a very visible spot for me to see her . Edited September 10, 2012 by paperboy48
january2011 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 It is easier said than done and you have my sympathies. However, you have to be the adult in this and refuse to partake in any silly games she tries to play. Distancing yourself physically and emotionally can help somewhat. You may have to compartmentalise your emotions and find another outlet for releasing them, when the time and place is right. When she realises that she can't get a rise out of you anymore because you really don't care what she's doing with her life, she can either be very overt and make a fool of herself in front of everyone or decide that it's time to grow up and stop trying to impress/make jealous a man she chose to walk away from. When it comes to your ex-wife and communication, focus on finances and the children. Everything else is irrelevant.
KatZee Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Your right but a little easier said than done ....besides when i first got their she went for a walk with her friend and then went to stand in a very visible spot for me to see her . Are you sure this just isn't your ego talking? She took a phone call, and then she went to stand in a location in which to watch her daughter do whatever she does cheerleading. Why is this about you? Of course you think she was doing it intentionally to "hurt you" but she can't do this if you're not blatantly staring at her. Who's to say she was even aware you were staring? You're hurt because it's the end of the relationship, but I'm not sure she's trying to hurt you further. She's going about her life. She can't be expected NOT to take phone calls, just for fear of making you "jealous" and all you're honestly doing is speculating. You have no clue who was on the other end of that phone call. You're hurt, and thinking worst case scenario.
Author paperboy48 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 It is easier said than done and you have my sympathies. However, you have to be the adult in this and refuse to partake in any silly games she tries to play. Distancing yourself physically and emotionally can help somewhat. You may have to compartmentalise your emotions and find another outlet for releasing them, when the time and place is right. Thanks for your sympathies....Loveshack is one of my outlets I did not and will not let her know I was jealous...a month or two ago I would have. Are you sure this just isn't your ego talking? You're hurt, and thinking worst case scenario. Your right... My football team was creamed by her footbal time yesterday afternoon, so to let her know I wasn't bothered by the smiling phone call, I gave my daughter an envelope to give my Ex with a note in it that said....your team (actual team name though) sucks !!! Written in the colors of her NFL team
Chi townD Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Personally, I don't think she did that to make you jealous. I think she did that because she just doesn't care and wasn't thinking at the time. Best thing to do is just to act like it doesn't bother you in the least. Yeah, I know it's tough because it does, but don't let her see that it does. Because if you're right and she did do that to make you jealous; her seeing that it doesn't bother you would put a stop to that. Why try? It doesn't affect you. Now, if she ups her game and brings the douche rocket to a game, that's a different story. That would be something to address. Bringing a guy to your kids function would be just down right rude and evil especially since things are new and feelings are so raw, not only for you, but for your kids. Kids are alway secretly hoping that their parents would get back together. So, seeing mom at a game with OM is going to hurt them. And THAT'S not fair to the kids. That's where she would cross the line. Therefore, you would have to step in and protect your kids (even their feelings) and intervene. 1
Mike_d Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Don't use your kid as messengers in your issues. And I agree, this is your issue, not hers. Sending the note was a silly way to try to leave a breadcrumb, what did you hope to accomplish with the message? Serms like you've got some work to do, that you're this upset over your interpretation of her talking on the phone isn't quite rational
Author paperboy48 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 Don't use your kid as messengers in your issues. And I agree, this is your issue, not hers. Sending the note was a silly way to try to leave a breadcrumb, what did you hope to accomplish with the message? Serms like you've got some work to do, that you're this upset over your interpretation of her talking on the phone isn't quite rational I think giving my daughter a sealed envelope to hand to her mother is hardly a way of using her as a messenger. I have given sealed envelopes to them befoe with checks in the envelopes, no difference. My Ex-Wife and I always had a high competition with each other with regards to our NFL teams...the note was a way of keeping some humor in this crappy situation. And yes it was also a way of letting her know..."I'm not bothered by your trying to make me jealous and here's a little humor to show that". When my daughter handed her the note, my ex-wife opened it and I heard her laugh. Harmless.... I think it was a positive direction for me... two months ago I would have gone up to her either at the game or when she picked up the kids and told her off.
flitzanu Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 that's crazy. what a jerk, answering phone calls in public like she owns the place. 1
CptSaveAho Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Arent you the same guy that watches through her window of her place of her and her new man getting it on and being turned on by it? Give me a break... you're acting like a drama queen Shes moving on with her life and you aren't. You are using your kids as a messenger because you dont have the man hood to communicate like an adult. Grow up. Your actions are that of a psycho ex 1
Author paperboy48 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 Arent you the same guy that watches through her window of her place of her and her new man getting it on and being turned on by it? Give me a break... you're acting like a drama queen Shes moving on with her life and you aren't. You are using your kids as a messenger because you dont have the man hood to communicate like an adult. Grow up. Your actions are that of a psycho ex How should I communicate any better?
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