Phisically sick months after breakup

[Japser93]

Hello

Two months ago, I broke up with my girlfriend after a year and 3 months having a relationship.

Ever since then I have been feeling nauseous, which is worse when i wake up. I wake up very early, and when i try to go back to sleep, I get very nauseous.

I have to get out of my bed, or else it wont go away and it makes me puke. Throughout the day, the nausea fades away.

 

In my relationship I also had periods of nausea, but after a week or two they were gone. After a lot of thinking I figured that I always got nauseous when I had not enough privacy.

I'm not a confident person, so everytime my girlfriend asked me to come over, or to do an activity together, I always said 'yes' because I did not want to dissapoint her.

But because I couldn't say 'no', I almost had no time for myself and that made me nauseous.

After a while it became so bad that when my girlfriend asked me to do something together, I immediatly became nausous.

My girlfriend and I thought that it was some sort of medical issue, so the doctor did a lot of tests, but nothing came up. It made us both very desperate.

 

Maybe we were not meant to be, I thought. And I broke up with her..

It was one of the most hardest things I had to do in my life. I did not want to hurt her..

Secretly I hoped that my nausea would go away after our breakup but now, two months later, I still wake up every morning with nausea..

My ex moved on, she has a good life. Me, on the other hand, i'm still feeling miserable.

 

I do not want to get back together with her, I'm sure of that.

I just don't know what makes me feel this way.

 

I could really use some fresh opinions!

[Calico]

It's probably psychosomatic, so seeing a psychologist may not be a bad approach, if your general doctor did not find any physical causes (may have wanted to do that before dumping her!). You also sound a little depressed, so, lots of plain water, vitamin D, fresh fruit, no alcohol, no caffeine, no overly sugary drinks/food, plenty of sunlight ...

[blue_jay_bird]

I had the same problem. It's like this anxiety, that cause's you to gag, even when you didn't have anything to eat. I'd say go to a psychologist, it's not a shame to get help. But in the mean time, try what Calico said and taking deep breaths when you feel it coming on.

[Japser93]

First of all, thanks for the very fast responses!

 

I have been thinking about anxiety myself. But why am I anxious?

I have been thinking a lot, and I just can't find a reason... Do I miss her and regret my decission? Maybe my subconscious feels that there is something wrong? Or maybe I just have to get used to begin single again?

 

I really have no idea.

I feel depressed sometimes, that is true. But I only have that feeling when i'm nauseous again, like when I opened this topic.

 

I am going to a psychologist soon, but in the meantime I was hoping that I could do something myself?

[TheDovic]

This sounds like an anxiety problem!! Can you recall being anxious or nervous during your relationship i.e. when your partner spoke to other men or when you had sex??

 

Maybe you thought your partner was the cause of your anxiety so it made sense to leave, but in reality the anxiety is related to you and how you view the world! Fortunately for you anxiety can be completely cured and the symptoms can be treated within a short period of time.

 

Anti-anxiety medication (in particular Cipralex) turned my life around when I was 19 (I'm now 29) and suffering from so much anxiety I couldn't leave the house. Now I'm an extremely confident and popular person!! Also Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is extremely effective in managing anxiety!

 

Back to the main point though, I'm not sure your ex was the problem here and maybe it would be an idea to give your relationship a long hard think... if you have strong feelings that is!

[TheDovic]

Ps, just seen that you are going to a therapist soon. The majority of talk therapies have been proven to have very little impact on anxiety problems (don't believe me? Google it). The only proven talk therapy for anxiety / depression is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. So before throwing your money away see if you can arrange to see a CBT therapist!!

[Japser93]

Thank you TheDovic for your opinion.

 

Maybe I overreacted a bit, when I decided to break up.

But it happened and I can't do anything about it.

If I am totally honest with my self and i had the chance to get back together, I wouldn't do it. It's hard to explain, but I just have a feeling that it is better like this.

 

My psychologist is specialised in dialectical behavior therapy. To be honest I don't know anything about those things. What do you think? I hope that those names are correct because english is not my first language.

 

In my relationship, I had no idea that it was anxiety. I thought that the nausea was some sort of medical issue. But the strange thing was that I it happened most of the times when i was going to see her. When i woke up on a day that we had something planned, I got nauseous immediately..

[maya.arrow]

hey,

i had a very similar problem 10 years ago or so. random bouts of nausea and sometimes dizziness. they would strike when i was feeling nervous, but sometimes when i wasn't even nervous at all. it IS anxiety. deep rooted anxiety. and i think what you are suffering from is panic attacks. i think if you are stressed or anxious or depressed...and particulary good at suppressing it, you start to freak out and alter your nervous system. panic attacks are a normal reaction to high-pressure situations. but when you are unhappy and under a lot of emotional stress, your signals get out of wack and suddenly, it gets triggered in random and strange situations. when i started having those symptoms, i had no idea how anxious i was because i always considered myself a confident person. but my confidence came from suppressing my anxiety...to the point where i was no longer honest with myself about it.

 

it took me years to realise i had wound myself so tight i couldn't cope anymore...and i went to a therapist who also specialised in dialectical behavioural therapy. it was really really good for me. i really recommend it.