mike5770 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Well after partying a little too much I unearthed from the dead on Facebook and unblocked her. I then sent a friend request like a moron. An hour later I realized how dumb that was and how it gave the control back to her and quickly canceled the friend request. She might not have seen it since she usually goes on at night because she has to take care of her three kids alone because of the great guy who cheated on her with 100 women and fails to pay child support. They all loved me and I treated them and her like gold being a constant therapist for all of her issues but hey I am a good guy that would take care of her and be nice to her and her kids so I am not good enough so she took down the pic of us together in Vegas on her facebook so she can attract scumbags more her type. Anyway getting back on the subject I felt terrible. Even though I have not called her or texted her since It ended it ended and she may not have seen the friend request I have to count it as breaking NC and I am at day one. Oh well i am not going to beat myself up just try to stay strong. She makes me so damn angry she treated me like garbage and used me.
carinarg Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 I wouldnt know about her not seeing it, but I do have facebook set up so I receive an email everytime somebody sends me a friend request or posts something on my wall. So even if you deleted it, if she has that option enabled, she may still get the email and know you requested her friendship.
fallenheart Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Yeah, that was dumb. Don't do it again. Delete your facebook account. It's not really necessary anyway. And start being a dick to girls. Girls don't like nice guys. Nice guys are only there to babysit their kids while they are out getting nailed by dangerous "bad boys." 1
Author mike5770 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 I have to agree with your statement. I notice girls I could care less about and used for fun were all over me coming to my office after a one night stand while me mr nice guy which is the mode I go into when I fall in love with someone I get this crap. The hell with her let her try to find a man with three kids, no job, and living on welfare you blew it you stupid moron. You got your Vegas Vacation and you paid me with sex. Account settled time to move on.
not-a-drive-by Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Yeah, that was dumb. And start being a dick to girls. Girls don't like nice guys. Nice guys are only there to babysit their kids while they are out getting nailed by dangerous "bad boys." Haha, and guys don't like nice girls because they become doormats... Maybe that's one of the reasons why I fell for my ex. He was a jerk at times, but in a way it kept things fun. He had a very different personality than me, which I loved. And I became too caring to him (and became a doormat?) .
fallenheart Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Guys don't like "doormat" type girls? First I ever heard of that. Guys like any kind of girl, as long as she reciprocates with genuine feeling, is on a compatible sexual wavelength, and doesn't **** other dudes behind our back. Being a doormat has nothing to do with it. 1
TaraMaiden Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Morning dear, how's your shade of grey today?
not-a-drive-by Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Guys don't like "doormat" type girls? First I ever heard of that. Guys like any kind of girl, as long as she reciprocates with genuine feeling, is on a compatible sexual wavelength, and doesn't **** other dudes behind our back. Being a doormat has nothing to do with it. Pretty much what I learnt from reading "Why Men Love Bitches". They don't want "doormats" - the nice and caring girl (we always lose)...pretty much like the "Mr Nice Guy" who finishes last...
Calico Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 My ex was the caring "doormat" type of girl, and that didn't stop her from cheating and leaving me when she no longer needed me and had found someone "better" with a more promising future. Well, maybe I was just the bigger doormat. Then again, in my 20s, that was the type of girlfriend I usually "dumped" and lost interest in, that's true, so maybe it's an age thing, somehow. I think as you get older you focus on different values. and "caring" becomes a major plus rather than a disadvantage. (When you start to appreciate stability more than excitement.) The "bitch" type would probably have been better for me, though. It would have prevented the mutual emotional dependency and led to a healthier relationship.
not-a-drive-by Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 (edited) My ex was the caring "doormat" type of girl, and that didn't stop her from cheating and leaving me when she no longer needed me and had found someone "better" with a more promising future. Well, maybe I was just the bigger doormat. Then again, in my 20s, that was the type of girlfriend I usually "dumped" and lost interest in, that's true, so maybe it's an age thing, somehow. I think as you get older you focus on different values. and "caring" becomes a major plus rather than a disadvantage. (When you start to appreciate stability more than excitement.) The "bitch" type would probably have been better for me, though. It would have prevented the mutual emotional dependency and led to a healthier relationship. And so the "doormats" turn into the "bitches" and the "nice guys" turn into "jerks" . But hey, one positive thing about BUs...they bring more attractive souls into this world. First advice is always to hit the gym and make yourself look good . Edited September 11, 2012 by not-a-drive-by
fallenheart Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Morning dear, how's your shade of grey today? Same as always. The world is a cold, bleak, dead place. I don't know what kind of fantasy world you're living in, or if you're into drugs or anti-depressants or whatever that blows rainbows up your ass, but I just call things like I see it. Women will lie, cheat, steal and manipulate a man until he's a soulless husk that's no good to anyone. Women are incapable of being honest or rational because they lie to themselves constantly and in all likelihood have no idea what the hell they want out of life, other than what they're told they want by the media and society and other women. Women are a thousand times colder and more heartless than men because their "emotions" can snap 180 degrees for no reason at any time without warning. I honestly wish I was gay......those guys have it made. 2
Calico Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 And so the "doormats" turn into the "bitches" and the "nice guys" turn into "jerks" . I turned from a "jerk" into a "doormat"! I sort of object to the term "jerk", though! In my 20s, when I was the one ending all my relationships, it wasn't really in a mean or jerkish way. I just lost interest and I was mostly in it for the "magic". When things stagnated or became stale, I moved on. It was always genuine and straight-forward (no ignoring the ex, no cheating, no harsh words, etc.). Hmm, actually, the women were also always older than me, and that flipped around after my 20s when my partners became younger (and increasingly more likely to dump me!). But hey, one positive thing about BUs...they bring more attractive souls into this world. First advice is always to hit the gym and make yourself look good . I'm really glad to see you looking more and more at the bright side. It may still be a pile of horse manure, but you're now looking at the side that the sun is shining on. Makes me happy! That's awesome for NC day #3! (I'm back at day #0.5.) I agree, a BU is an awesome time to make new friends because you not only have time and are emotionally more open to people, but also because you can do so without any feelings of guilt or "giving the wrong idea". I try to stick to people who have partners, though, since I know that I leak neediness all over the place. People pick up on that and I'm so not ready for a new relationship.
not-a-drive-by Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I turned from a "jerk" into a "doormat"! I sort of object to the term "jerk", though! I think I got the bad end from my ex. I think he turned from "doormat" to "jerk" when his previous ex cheated on him. He did all the chasing and did everything to please her. He didn't put himself first. We reversed roles, I guess. BUs change people, depending on how it ended and affected them. Him turning into a "jerk" I believe, was a way to protect himself from being hurt again. I still love him though. I always hated it when he described himself like that or said that he has been a jerk to me. I guess being with him for 2.5 years, I can see the better side of him. I try to stick to people who have partners, though, since I know that I leak neediness all over the place. People pick up on that and I'm so not ready for a new relationship. I cannot stand being around people with partners at the moment! Makes me feel extremely miserable . And people definitely know that I am not ready for a new relationship...I think I give off a very negative vibe that everyone can pick up, especially at work haha. I am extremely quiet at work now and just can't really pull off a smile or laugh, unless I am required to. So, you might change your mind now - I'm not actually doing that well , but talking here surely helps! Women will lie, cheat, steal and manipulate a man until he's a soulless husk that's no good to anyone. Men are capable of doing just the same to women. I honestly wish I was gay......those guys have it made. I have thought about that. Maybe loving a woman would be easier, since I am one myself. Wouldn't it be a perfect fit to be gay? Knowing one's gender so well. Unfortunately, it doesn't cut it for me. Men - you guys are not easy to understand either.
Calico Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I have thought about that. Maybe loving a woman would be easier, since I am one myself. Wouldn't it be a perfect fit to be gay? Knowing one's gender so well. You could also become a nun! Having a number of gay friends, I can say that their relationships are no less complicated. In fact, they have extra issues to deal with, like social acceptance (or the lack of it), a very "open" environment where people like to interfere with serious relationships, etc. 1
fallenheart Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Men - you guys are not easy to understand either. WHAT????? You're joking right??? Men are so easy to understand it's comical. Where women change their mind/ideas/wants/goals/etc almost hourly, men are as dependable as clockwork, First and foremost, men need SEX. That's half the battle right there. Physically, they also need FOOD and SLEEP and on some occasions ALCOHOL. If all those needs are met, the lucky man may also hope to spend his free time pursuing his INTERESTS and HOBBIES. That one is pretty much optional though....SEX/FOOD/SLEEP are really all a man TRULY needs. And you know what? It's how it's been since the dawn of humankind and it's how it will always be. And if you haven't figured that out by now??? I feel bad for you. Men are simple. And as a bonus, our brains follow logic and reason. Women on the other hand are a complete unknown. Not only are they a mystery to men, but they are so screwed up they don't even understand themselves. A real mess. Pity.... 2
Zammo25 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 My ex is still a FB friend. I have not deleted her and she has not deleted me. That to me is just petty and childish and infact disrepectful. She was an important part of my life for over a year. The thing is her new blokes mug appears above mine on her page. LOL. But I will just suck it up and take it on the chin. I hope she is happy with this guy as she deserves the best, something unfortunately I could not give her.
spaniard Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 Women are a thousand times colder and more heartless than men because their "emotions" can snap 180 degrees for no reason at any time without warning. That should be written in stone. Wise words.
Zammo25 Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 WHAT????? You're joking right??? Men are so easy to understand it's comical. Where women change their mind/ideas/wants/goals/etc almost hourly, men are as dependable as clockwork, First and foremost, men need SEX. That's half the battle right there. Physically, they also need FOOD and SLEEP and on some occasions ALCOHOL. If all those needs are met, the lucky man may also hope to spend his free time pursuing his INTERESTS and HOBBIES. That one is pretty much optional though....SEX/FOOD/SLEEP are really all a man TRULY needs. And you know what? It's how it's been since the dawn of humankind and it's how it will always be. And if you haven't figured that out by now??? I feel bad for you. Men are simple. And as a bonus, our brains follow logic and reason. Women on the other hand are a complete unknown. Not only are they a mystery to men, but they are so screwed up they don't even understand themselves. A real mess. Pity.... Absolutely superb post. This guy is my best poster on LS now. NAILED it. 1
Author mike5770 Posted September 13, 2012 Author Posted September 13, 2012 My ex is still a FB friend. I have not deleted her and she has not deleted me. That to me is just petty and childish and infact disrepectful. She was an important part of my life for over a year. The thing is her new blokes mug appears above mine on her page. LOL. But I will just suck it up and take it on the chin. I hope she is happy with this guy as she deserves the best, something unfortunately I could not give her. If I could do it over, I would not have deleted her but was really pissed because she untagged our pic on her Facebook. I wish I had that one to do over but whats done is done. I think if I didnt delete her though I would be kissing her ass again so it has helped with NC..I will wait until I have no emptions toward her anymore and then add her as a friend..that maybe years from now. I do feel silly about that though you are right it is childish and I have other exes that are still fb friends.
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