meg1818 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 So i will begin saying i am a lesbian and met a girl offline, Everything was going perfect, She is in school and has a busy schedule. ABout 5 dates in we began sleeping together, I then texted her if this was casual or would she consider the gf thing sometime soon. She is a good girl and does not sleep around so i assumed it was going somewhere. She replied that she put a lot of thought into it and she does not want a "serious" relationship any time in the next year. I replied i could not date anyone if it was not going to go somewhere. I didnt ask for anything serious, which is why im not understanding her reasoning to give up on me so quickly. She then asked if we should quit it for awhile? I said yes, she said she was still here to to talk. i said no thank u I know she really likes me and it was a mutual thing, She basically wished me good luck, and i have not and will not contact her, because i think her response was rude, short, and not explanotory. Do you think she will contact me again? I am stuggling I really fell for this girl. But i am not ok sleeping with someone who is not my gf or will eventually lead to something.
oracle Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 I think she was pretty clear with you. You obviously have different levels of whats is acceptable. She wants a loose FWB booty call scenario. You want a GF. If you can't come to a common ground then part ways, no bad feelings. You need to learn to manage expectations (read my thread at the top of the section if you have time - ALL 3 of my rules apply to you and your situation) You made is clear in your post that there was no "understanding" before sex. You texted after asking if this was "just casual" You really can't fault her for anything. You like what you can't have. I know it sucks, it happens all the time and it will happen again. Know and understand that, smile and move on. Hell i had the same scenario just last month. Im gay. out of a 14yr monogamous relationship.. been dating, had a boytoy for a year he moved a year ago (miss him)... met a bi curious yng guy that "ticks all the boxes" for me. My heart flutters when he texts me. Id LOVE to have a BF like him. But hes been clear that he just wants it NSA for now, no extra curricular hanging out etc. - i know hes exploring his sexuality and I decided to go along with it. I don't allow myself to expect anything and i just go with it and it is what it is, and I know I may never hear from him again and I don't push for anything. Its all about what your are willing to go along with. Good for you though for not selling yourself out, and being true to what you want. There will be another... don't worry Head up Good luck
Author meg1818 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 thank you girls are tricky. she does have a full plate. but if she doesnt eventually text i guess she had no emotional attachment at all i dont like the rejection in relationships because to me it's like waiting for something better to come along, and i don't want to be around when she finds it. thats why i ended it. if you really like someone you dont give them up based on selfish reasoning, and seriousness. relationships are whatever we make them out to be. they also can be casual.
Author meg1818 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 and just to clarify we had many discussions on where i stood with the relationship thing. she told me she doesnt date for the sake of dating. she clearly did some 180 after we slept together. well not even after it happened a few time. after i asked if it was going somewhere? so basically she lied and played me.
oracle Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Im guilty of the same thing.. Sometimes you are seeing someone and you think its your bag and you should be more into it than you are.. so you go a long with it and force it a bit hoping you start to fall for it.. and thats the mistake.. You don't have a lot of time invested, it was still an exploratory process. Never believe what people say, and don't assume based on actions. If you haven't yet, read my thread at the top of the section.
Author meg1818 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 well she was totally into me. i am an attractive girl. if i didnt ask we would just be messing around and dating.
oracle Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 NO she wasn't totally into you.. Get your HEAD out of your ASS. She may have been physically or sexually into you. If she was TOTALLY into you, she would be there. Instead she walked off without a care in the world. Im sorry to be a prick, but you need a heavy dose of reality
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