JSJS Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 How To Respond To Your Ex’s “No Contact” Rule | | Ask Love Doctor Yangki Christine Akiteng Not quite sure what to make of this... Describes what to do if you are the dumper and your ex tries NC.
BooBoo1982 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 If the dumper had legitimate reasons for ending it I don't think they will care if you contact them or not and also we shouldn't care if they care about us going no contact because they chose to live life without us so let them do just that.
Author JSJS Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 I agree BooBoo1982 - it seemed strange in the article that it almost criticised the person who was dumped for doing NC. If you are dumped you can do what you like - I'm trying NC now.
blue_jay_bird Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Well, i think it is immature to ignore someone that is trying to talk to you. If my ex wanted to talk to me i would give him, the respect of at lest hearing him out. But if they aren't trying to talk to you, i don't think NC is immature. It's just self preservation. 2
Author JSJS Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 Well, i think it is immature to ignore someone that is trying to talk to you. If my ex wanted to talk to me i would give him, the respect of at lest hearing him out. But if they aren't trying to talk to you, i don't think NC is immature. It's just self preservation. Do you mean that the dumper still gets to decide how things go? Why should you have to hear someone out just because they want you to? Does being dumped not give you the right to decide if you listen or not?
todreaminblue Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 (edited) I think its up to the inidividuals and the situation if kids are involved nc can be detrimental to the children and you have to do the best by the kids not what is best for you they didnt ask to be born caring for them is much more important contact is necessary phone contact though not having to see that person but then at a wedding of one of the children that would be difficult....only absolutely necessary situations to have face to face contact is required even with kids. I think you can be phone friends with kids. Respect needs to be given and boundaries firm and in place.Kids need to see this, so they have respect and understanding.Whatever went on in the relationship is not important as trying to compromise for the sake of kids, who need to see mature and responsible attitudes towards parenting from both.Maturity and acceptance that it is over, enforces boundaries and keeps it at a level that is productive for children.Every failed relationship has good and bad times if you concentrate on the positive this maturity is possible you need to deal with the bad ones in your own way in your own time.I journal i write it out and i forgive.......nc is hard probably easier to do without children involved. Even then I Have problems distancing from people I care about, its not what I would normally do I would worry..but for me nc is necessary face to face if i have strong feelings for someone and they are not reciprocated..someone i am interested in now i have strong feelings for does not feel the sam eway and it is difficult for me to handle, i am just following my heart and its saying no to nc....so i am in contact with this person however uncomfortable i feel i manage ......protect my heart this way even if i hate doing it, if it gets too much i will have to go nc at the moment i cant even stomach thinking about this.no contact rule suuuuucks....;0)..........deb Edited September 9, 2012 by todreaminblue
blue_jay_bird Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Do you mean that the dumper still gets to decide how things go? Why should you have to hear someone out just because they want you to? Does being dumped not give you the right to decide if you listen or not? Well, i guess it depends what you want. If you want to work things out with your ex, doing the silent treatment when they want to talk to you is destructive. If you really want them out of your life, the silent treatment is a good idea. Does being dumped not give you the right to decide if you listen or not? Yes.
Spark1111 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 How To Respond To Your Ex’s “No Contact” Rule | | Ask Love Doctor Yangki Christine Akiteng Not quite sure what to make of this... Describes what to do if you are the dumper and your ex tries NC. I think if you communicated that you were ending it and why, what does it matter if they block and delete you? I disagree with the author. NC is to protect you from any new hurts. What the author is alluding to is very passive agressive behavior someone will employ if they cannot get you to do what they want, or if they disgree with you. If the relationship is over and you ended it, why would you care if they went NC to protect themselves from any additional contact from you, the dumper? 1
threebyfate Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Of the times I've done NC, if an ex were to send me an email telling me not to emotionally abuse them, I'd have laughed in their face. 1
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