meg1818 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 So i will begin saying i am a lesbian and met a girl offline, Everything was going perfect, She is in school and has a busy schedule. ABout 5 dates in we began sleeping together, I then texted her if this was casual or would she consider the gf thing sometime soon. She is a good girl and does not sleep around so i assumed it was going somewhere. She replied that she put a lot of thought into it and she does not want a "serious" relationship any time in the next year. I replied i could not date anyone if it was not going to go somewhere. I didnt ask for anything serious, which is why im not understanding her reasoning to give up on me so quickly. I know she really likes me and it was a mutual thing, She basically wished me good luck, and i have not and will not contact her, because i think her response was rude, short, and not explanotory. Do you think she will contact me again? I am stuggling I really fell for this girl. But i am not ok sleeping with someone who is not my gf or will eventually lead to something.
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 She gave you lip service then pulled a 180 on you. It's something people do to establish credibility without having to prove it. And you bought it or set and expectation based on it. However you just learned the hard way of why you talk about this thing in detail before you engage in a situation where you know you will emotionally invest yourself. It's not anyone's job to tell you what you can take or not, you only know that...letting things slide or "seeing where it goes" will always leave you with surprises...you ask questions and communicate until the answers are clear to you emotionally...do you understand that? not because they gave you an explanation, but because of what they said, felt and expressed was consistent and clear...instead of watered down or "confusing". She wanted to cut you off without hurting your feelings...which mean she did not share or experience the same emotional experience. You fell harder or fell alone in the first place, I think she just kind of took you for a ride...I doubt she'd ever call...that's not something somebody says to someone else that is truly emotionally invested...consider her emotionally unavailable and move on. Do not harbor this or try and understand it or think there is hope, you'll just reserve emotions for this person that don't belong there....you got played, she's likely selfish and self-centered. Stick to your guns or you're going to be strung along.
Author meg1818 Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 thank you for the response. we talked about it ahead of time for sure. i am the first person to do things to her sexually. she said she didnt date for the sake of dating. i am higly confused because she initaited most of it. But yes her response was basically i dont give a **** about you because she said nothing nice. i do not want a friend with benefits and she knew this all ahead of time.
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 thank you for the response. we talked about it ahead of time for sure. i am the first person to do things to her sexually. she said she didnt date for the sake of dating. i am higly confused because she initaited most of it. But yes her response was basically i dont give a **** about you because she said nothing nice. i do not want a friend with benefits and she knew this all ahead of time. Maybe she has somethings to figure out for herself, maybe she felt uncomfortable and like things were going too fast, maybe she felt she couldn't invest emotionally because of other hang-ups. The reasons could be many, but none that you should try and compromise yourself over. She initiated because she felt in control...giving you that lip service helped her place you into a certain mindset and behavior so that she would have control of the situation. That made her feel comfortable with her actions even though she knew that it was an in the moment kind of thing, she that impulse lead her into what she wanted. But I wouldn't trust everything she told you, she wasn't telling you the whole story. When you pressed for more after sex, then she realized after the chase and thrill of it that she wasn't ready to invest in a relationship and didn't open up emotionally to connect with you on that level...therefore she's able to detach from you. You were trying to be the transparent one it looks like, and you got taken for a little ride because you didn't read between the lines and you didn't gauge and know enough about her to see where she stands...you can't trust people to tell you everything you need to know them, you need to figure it out, read between the lines and connect the dots...you can't just simply "trust" someone by what they say. 1
Author meg1818 Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 you're right. for someone to cut you off like that means she emotionally was not attached. the next few days if she does not contact, i will move on. it was her choice to give up after a great month. in time they all come back.
Recommended Posts