BooBoo1982 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 I probably wasted the best years of my life (20-26) splitting up and getting back together with a man I thought I loved more than anything in the world, most of this time was spent in a heartbroken and depressed state either waiting for him to come back or actually being with him and just not enjoying it. It's only now looking back four years later that I realise I didn't love this man, I think I only ever wanted him back to prove a point that I was better then whoever he'd left me for at the time. Now to think of him makes my stomach churn, I see nothing nice in him, no attractive qualities at all. He tells me now I'm his soul mate and the only girl he's ever truly loved and I say nothing because I have no interest in ever talking to him again. My point is whoever you are putting your life in hold for, whoever has brought you here, make sure they are worth it and that you want them back for the right reasons.
Hawaii50 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 I promise you those will not be the best years 1
Author BooBoo1982 Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 I promise you those will not be the best years I hope the best years are still to come!
Robert Z Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 I probably wasted the best years of my life (20-26) splitting up and getting back together with a man I thought I loved more than anything in the world, most of this time was spent in a heartbroken and depressed state either waiting for him to come back or actually being with him and just not enjoying it. It's only now looking back four years later that I realise I didn't love this man, I think I only ever wanted him back to prove a point that I was better then whoever he'd left me for at the time. Now to think of him makes my stomach churn, I see nothing nice in him, no attractive qualities at all. He tells me now I'm his soul mate and the only girl he's ever truly loved and I say nothing because I have no interest in ever talking to him again. My point is whoever you are putting your life in hold for, whoever has brought you here, make sure they are worth it and that you want them back for the right reasons. I'm sorry to hear about your pain. I can relate. When I look back, I now realize that I wasted about 20 of 25 years of my life by clinging to an idea. If only I knew 25 years ago what I know now.
Author BooBoo1982 Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 (edited) I promise you those will not be the best years I hope the best years are still to come! Not sure why this posted again. Edited September 9, 2012 by BooBoo1982
Author BooBoo1982 Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 (You said that, already.....!) I got over excited sorry. 1
TaraMaiden Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 It's easily done with Hawaii50. I get over excited when he's around too. When I look at his avatar and know where his mouth has been.... (I said that out loud, didn't I.....? )
youngnlove89 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 I probably wasted the best years of my life (20-26) splitting up and getting back together with a man I thought I loved more than anything in the world, most of this time was spent in a heartbroken and depressed state either waiting for him to come back or actually being with him and just not enjoying it. It's only now looking back four years later that I realise I didn't love this man, I think I only ever wanted him back to prove a point that I was better then whoever he'd left me for at the time. Now to think of him makes my stomach churn, I see nothing nice in him, no attractive qualities at all. He tells me now I'm his soul mate and the only girl he's ever truly loved and I say nothing because I have no interest in ever talking to him again. My point is whoever you are putting your life in hold for, whoever has brought you here, make sure they are worth it and that you want them back for the right reasons. I feel like I am how you were. I'm on and off with this guy. He doesn't know what he wants. He says I'm 95% the one. He breaks up with me then wants me back. And when I am with him, I am not happy because I'm afraid he is going to leave again. But when I am not with him, I'm not happy either. It's a vicious cycle. I hope I can get to the point where you are without having to waste more time.
Author BooBoo1982 Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 I feel like I am how you were. I'm on and off with this guy. He doesn't know what he wants. He says I'm 95% the one. He breaks up with me then wants me back. And when I am with him, I am not happy because I'm afraid he is going to leave again. But when I am not with him, I'm not happy either. It's a vicious cycle. I hope I can get to the point where you are without having to waste more time. Get away from him and get happy being alone, it was only when I got to this point that I could tell him to do one, don't waste your life, he really isn't worth it.
Tree_Salmon Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Get away from him and get happy being alone, it was only when I got to this point that I could tell him to do one, don't waste your life, he really isn't worth it. Nothing is wasted if you learned something about yourself. 1
kyle77 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 I would definitely not say you wasted that time....now you are probably much more clear as to what you want from a relationship than before. You are smarter, and as a result of all this heartbreak and getting back together a lot more experienced...Now you can move on with your life in a new and positive way!
Author BooBoo1982 Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 I would definitely not say you wasted that time....now you are probably much more clear as to what you want from a relationship than before. You are smarter, and as a result of all this heartbreak and getting back together a lot more experienced...Now you can move on with your life in a new and positive way! Unfortunately after these wasted six years I continued to make the same mistakes but with different men (learnt nothing) but I feel like now might be the turning point for me
kyle77 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Unfortunately after these wasted six years I continued to make the same mistakes but with different men (learnt nothing) but I feel like now might be the turning point for me As long as you eventually reach that turning point, its just part of the process. Keep your head up! Sounds like life is about to get a lot better!
Author BooBoo1982 Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 As long as you eventually reach that turning point, its just part of the process. Keep your head up! Sounds like life is about to get a lot better! I really really hope so, I'm definitely ready to start making the right decisions.
oracle Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Seriously SHUT UP. My god. I did 14yrs. 19 - 34 so i have you beat BIG TIME. Regrets are poison. don't have them. Obviously it wasn't that bad. YOU stayed. You are looking back through the skewed goggles of bitterness and resentment. Life 9 times out of 10 won't go they way you want. Learn to accept that before you become a bitter shrew. Take what you can out of all experiences. IN the end it averages out to a resonable level of just contentment.. if you are lucky. 1
Author BooBoo1982 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 I'm not bitter and I won't let it affect my future I was just trying to make the point that you need to make sure that it person who brought you here is really worth it and that you want them back for the right reasons. 1
Calico Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Unlike others, I won't promise you that 20-26 aren't the best years. For me, so far, in many ways they were. But dwelling on that is pointless since the past is insubstantial. It isn't what made us into who we are, it's just a string of moments we lived through. It's much more productive to focus on the present moment, the "is-ness", because that's the only reality that there ever is. The future is an illusion in the "now", and either something we imagine that's better or worse than our current situation. I think every person is "worth it", even those who broke our hearts. I don't regret the almost four years with my girl, even though I desperately wish it had never ended or would continue. I never wished I had never met her. In spite of all the pain and the despair that rage on now, there have been many precious moments that I am glad we shared. It's better to lose love than to never have known love. 2
Tree_Salmon Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Seriously SHUT UP. My god. I did 14yrs. 19 - 34 so i have you beat BIG TIME. Regrets are poison. don't have them. Obviously it wasn't that bad. YOU stayed. You are looking back through the skewed goggles of bitterness and resentment. Life 9 times out of 10 won't go they way you want. Learn to accept that before you become a bitter shrew. Take what you can out of all experiences. IN the end it averages out to a resonable level of just contentment.. if you are lucky. 14 years? ...F**k my ear sideways. That is a long time. In any case, this is all true. Resentment, bitterness and anger make you ugly and annoying. I was in it for 6 years also and loved every minute of it, even the bad stuff. Take the good and move on. There will be better relationships. Only if you get off the anger.
Author BooBoo1982 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 I'm really not angry, I don't think I made my point very well.
TaraMaiden Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 No...I got it..... But it's a shame you look upon those years as 'wasted'. Everything we go through forms us as a person. No matter how long the lesson, providing we learn something from it, and it makes us a more complete human being, it's not time wasted. That someone might be a waste of space - is another matter entirely. 2
Mariana345 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 I know what you mean... It really feels like a waste (I'm also 26 ) but if we can make the best of this I think we can turn this out At least he left me when I am young, beauty, thin (tehehehehe. the good side of a break up XD) and an amazing and interesting person (where did my modesty go?) and I can find a better man and a better place in life Actually is their lost. We are young!! We can grab the world and make it ours!!! WE CAN DO IT JUST BELIEVE IT!
Tree_Salmon Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 I know what you mean... It really feels like a waste (I'm also 26 ) but if we can make the best of this I think we can turn this out At least he left me when I am young, beauty, thin (tehehehehe. the good side of a break up XD) and an amazing and interesting person (where did my modesty go?) and I can find a better man and a better place in life Actually is their lost. We are young!! We can grab the world and make it ours!!! WE CAN DO IT JUST BELIEVE IT! Thanks, Pat Benatar! So... 26, slim and pretty huh? I think you just found your better man. No big experience in life is a waste. It makes you who you are.
Author BooBoo1982 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 I know what you mean... It really feels like a waste (I'm also 26 ) but if we can make the best of this I think we can turn this out At least he left me when I am young, beauty, thin (tehehehehe. the good side of a break up XD) and an amazing and interesting person (where did my modesty go?) and I can find a better man and a better place in life Actually is their lost. We are young!! We can grab the world and make it ours!!! WE CAN DO IT JUST BELIEVE IT! My problem is I'm 30 now, it's only looking back that I realise I should have given up on that one a long time ago. 1
Tree_Salmon Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 My problem is I'm 30 now, it's only looking back that I realise I should have given up on that one a long time ago. Being 30 is not a problem. I know society wants you to think so, but it's potentially the best time of your life. You're stable and capable of doing everything you want to do. 2
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