woot Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 (edited) Hi, I'm new here.. I joined because I wanted to get some input/ideas/advice from people other than my friends.. sorry this may be a long read.. I apologize ahead of time for the "is he interested in me" question, but it has been driving me insane for a long time. So Ive had a crush on this guy for several years, started off as a small crush when i was 16, but didnt see him again until i was 18 i believe. We went to the same church and spoke here and there to each other but I never considered us as "friends". He's older than me.. more than 6 less than 10 years older. I texted him before just asking a question about something I needed help with, but he didnt know either, so we ended up having a really short conversation about random stuff. But out of nowhere in the text he asked me when I was turning 21 with a winky face at the end of that text. After I replied he said "we'll go celebrate then ;] lol".. Which confused me, but I brushed it off. A month later when I went back home, our church had a picnic and he kept making eye contact with me. Sat next to me whenever we moved to different tables. Leaned in real close to me when we took pictures. He would do small things like, ask me how big my hand is and he would put his hand out, palm up, and told me to put my hand on his. My friend's mom thought we were dating. I brushed it off again because I knew I have a tendency to read too deeply into things. Recently our family stopped going to that church and he and I hadnt spoken or seen each other in a couple months. But around two weeks ago, as I was driving back home to visit, I get a text from him and he was saying how just because my family left the church we arent strangers and how i popped up in his mind that morning. He said that I was the only person he didnt have to act fake around and could talk to without having to make sense of himself, and that i was just someone he didnt want to lose bc of the church. We had a conversation over texts for several hours and he asked to meet up and grab lunch and catch up, which i agreed to. We had lunch, and he was jumping from topic to topic. he asked me again when i was turning 21, when i had told him just two days before bc he had asked then too. And out of no where he says "this isnt a one time deal." which i had to ask what he meant bc it was so out of context and he further explained saying he wanted to hang out more and that every time im back in town to hit him up so we could hang out. He payed for lunch and we took one car (his) to go get coffee, which i insisted on paying for. We talked, but he talked about some personal stuff of his past, I didnt have much to say. But we joked around while driving back after coffee. And as he was walking me back to my car he said he wanted us to get to know each other more and i told him i would let him know when im coming back. the next morning as i was driving back to my university he texts me to drive safely and to let him know when im back. well i thought all was good, i thought the signs were hinting at perhaps he's interested. but foolish me, several days later i texted him in the afternoon just saying hoping he was right about the weather getting cooler, he replied the early next morning saying sorry that he was busy and fell asleep. and we exchanged about three txts to one another.. but his replies were very short.. like max 6 word texts.. i didnt even bother texting back after the few txts i received Some extra info: *he's a bit of a flake so i was surprised that he went through with the hangout plan * side-hugs were exchanged when we said hi and bye. *i never considered us as friends. *he's not the most mature guy for his age.. but he's getting there. *i act blunt/indifferent to him, nice but aloof.. mostly because i dont want to be on the vulnerable end * he said my mom was really pretty on occasions and even asked how my mom was doing during the "hangout"- my friend thinks he said this to be discrete in saying im pretty bc apparently my mom and i look alike but i dont think so * we had never hung out just one on one prior to the lunch "hang out" * his texts drastically changed from paragraphs/sentences to one sentence texts. my friends think that maybe he's just testing waters, or was simply busy. *he's a bit vain and superficial at times, but overall a nice person deep inside *some of my friends think that he's waiting until im 21 so that i seem more "legallegal" due to the age difference. whats is going on his mind? He is sending mixed signals, right? is he just having fun and playing around with me? Was that even considered as a date? Am i reading too into something thats not even there? Should I even bother texting him in two weeks that ill be back up that weekend? Edited September 9, 2012 by woot
Author woot Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 But then why does his responses seem so different now?..
Author woot Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 it may be obvious to some, but to me it wasnt. he comes off as a flirty person in general, since he used to be a model, and there is an unconventional age difference (in my opinion). am i expected to be more blunt with my responses so he knows what page im on? i dont want to come off a fool and ask if he is interested or not, and in turn him say he was simply wanting to be friends.
SJC2008 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 But then why does his responses seem so different now?.. Your answer is in your op. I texted him SEVERAL days later.
Author woot Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 actually i texted him later after the hangout saying that i had fun and the next time im back up we should go grab a movie or go to the shooting range. he said he had fun too and definitely to the next hang out. he then texted me the next morning and i replied. i texted him several days later again, thats what i meant in my original post. - -
jobaba Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 (edited) Low investment and early action is the way to go young lady. This is advice I usually give to men, but it applies to love in general. Don't invest any additional feelings in this guy. Find out if he's into you (tonight, tomorrow) and if not, then COMPLETELY cut all contact. Get your answer and cut the rope, but NO MORE investment of feelings. Nobody should ever have to come on a website like this one and ask if a person is into them ... IF THEY ARE SMART. They would have the balls (figuratively speaking) to get the answer from that person early, and wouldn't have invested enough emotion to care about that person's answer. And if you're in a position to date, date around. Find other guys to date. Trust me. Take this advice. I've been through what you are going through ... over three decades. Take it. Edited September 10, 2012 by jobaba
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