jofhw69 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 This will be a long read but I think I need to get advice from a few other people, I'm sorry it's so long. So a little over 2-years ago I met a girl that I fell hard for, and she fell hard for me. She has a great head on her shoulders, already has a masters degree (she's 23), knows what she wants out of life...what I'm getting at is that she's a good girl and knows what she wants. When we met (at work) we both lived in a bigger city, I had my own place ( for about 5 months, I lived with another girl for 2-years prior). After dating for a few months we became official and couldn't have been happier. Fast forward to May 2012 (We became official October 2011) I didn't care for the city (the area of the city) I was living in, and she was looking for a change. I mentioned not being happy in the city and missed my old, small town city. She said I should move back there and I asked her to move with me. We found a beautiful apartment in our new city and saved a lot of money by living together (Her first time living with a guy) After moving to the small city, she struggled a bit as she was in a new surrounding, no friends...everything was new. The job I had was 45 minutes away which left her at home (when she wasn't working) all day with nothing to do except hang out with our dogs. I had to quit that job which put a HUGE financial burden on us and I wasn't able to find a new job for about 3-4 months, and when I did find a new job the pay wasn't good but enough to get by. This financial problem put us through some tough times, naturally, but we pulled through. I had to quit my next job after 6 months because of my education (which was during night, making it hard to find a job in this Economy) So again we went through a VERY hard time financially and it really put a stress on our relationship. (EDIT: I forgot to add this in but my girlfriend was going through her Masters program online so she was stuck inside a lot with school which also stressed her out. And she's been hard in heavy into her degree since HS so she's wanting to live a little) I'm going to fast forward to a little over a month ago when my girlfriend was house sitting for her girlfriend, she brought up to me that she thinks that we could use a break so she could find herself (I understood, and figured the week she was house sitting would be just enough time), unfortunately the break turned into us being done for good. Her and I have always been the couple that would say if financial situation get bad we just have to hold tight and pull through. I thought this was the reason why we broke up, so it didn't make sense to me, I knew there was something else. Finally she decided to tell me what happened.... For some reason I changed (but didn't really noticed the pain it was causing her), I stopped treating her like the princess she was, I still showed her love but not the way she deserved. I'll give some examples...I think it became a habit, but for a while when she would ask for a kiss I would jokingly say no and walk away (but of course I'd still give her one after), but I think this type of action became a habit even with sex. She would start to initiate sex and I would say no (she felt denied, and I was stressed due to lack of job/money). She brought this up to me about 3 months ago and I finally got back into my old swing of things and she was much happier, but I think it was too late. She kept giving me signs letting me know she wasn't happy..for example one night she said to me, "You know, people tell me all the time that I'm a beautiful girl"...do you know what my response was? I said "yeah. they don't live with you." Of course i was kidding, but WHAT THE HELL!! That is NOT who I am and I have no idea why I was in a funk of acting like that... She was crying out to me! This eventually built up resentment towards me and she became very unhappy. Now we just ended our lease early and live separately. I am NOT handling this well, In my career I carry a gun, see people with their heads smashed in, answer domestic calls...you name it, none of which bothers me but I am absolutely having a hard time with her and I not being together anymore. She still loves me but tells me she needs to figure things out, needs to get over being mad at me, needs to find herself again. I contacted her all day everyday after the break up (Up until today) asking stupid questions like do you think we'll get back together. She tells me she would love to see us back together but doesn't want to say yes as not to get my hopes us just incase we don't. She said a few times to think of this as a break while we work on ourselves and work on what we both did to mess our relationship up. I asked her if she'd like to eventually start dating again, slowly but surely get back into things, she said yes, but not right away. She tells text or call her anytime I need anything but I think she was becoming very frustrated with my constant asking of her to reassure me that we'll get back together. We're supposed to hang out Thursday for drinks (I told her to bring a friend so it's not date'ish), she'll will let me know how she's still wanting to do that. I forgot to add a day or two after breaking up she asked to get lunch, not to talk but just to hang out, and we've hung out a few times since but she's staying very strong about our actions....very confusing Today is my first day of no contact in over 2 years with her (Giving her space) but I truly did think that she would text me kind of wondering where I am, but no such luck...Is that a bad sign? This is so difficult. I don't think she's leading me on, she's staying very strong for both of us. I was hoping someone could just send out their opinions on this to me. I'm sorry for the long read!:shocked: EDIT: I've forgot to add a few things. Of course I've asked her to have sex but she has stayed very strong and said no, she doesn't want to complicate things. Prior to moving out (finished month rent) I stayed at our apartment and she stayed on a blow up mattress at a friends house, I cleaned out or guest room for her to stay at but she still never budged, she stayed strong and didn't want to confuse anything. The thought of her possible finding someone else and having sex with them being the reasons she's saying no, but that's just not the type of girl she is. I also realize my problems and I am actively working on fixing them and getting back to who I was.
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