Author USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 And it seems (at least based on ls) that certain ethnicities/races of men are the ones with the lowest self esteem. I should keep that in mind when dating.... Indeed, and perpetuate the vicious cycle...which would lead to the question of which came first...being largely avoided by women, or developing low self esteem due to being avoided... Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Indeed, and perpetuate the vicious cycle...which would lead to the question of which came first...being largely avoided by women, or developing low self esteem due to being avoided... In any case, you're not doing yourself any favor by being just like the streotypes. Smart women will stay away, far far away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 In any case, you're not doing yourself any favor by being just like the streotypes. Smart women will stay away, far far away. And that's fine, if it is the way of the world. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I'm disappointed that this thread has turned towards attacks on Hokie's girlfriend... ... and suggestions that if he got a 'hot' 20-something his own age, he wouldn't be thinking of 'wild oats'... Obviously there are lots of people here on LS who are 'wild-oating' with all kinds of people... Lots of them with people their own age and younger... doesn't seem to stop THEM. The only consistent thing I observe with those who feel the need to experience lots of different people sexually is (in some combination). a) curiosity. b) need for external validation. c) difficulty with emotional bonding. d) underlying anger/revenge To the extent that the 'oat sowing' is short-term or long-term tends to solidify MY opinion of their ability to achieve or maintain a relationship. I don't know what to tell you Hokie... I hope you find a way to love yourself and come to a place where you can be happy with your choices... Will agree with the others that noone wants to feel like a placeholder. You say that your GF knows what you are struggling with. I really hope that is true. Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorhurting Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 i have not read the entire thread but i just wanted to say i am disappointed. I thought this thread was going to be a about cereal. Anyways, I think I am more of a relationship person. Between my current relationship and my last a year and 4 months went by and I met lots of different people. It was fun meeting people for a while but I missed the stability and security of a relationship. Like I know that I could not have had no strings attached sex with the men I met because I need a real connection with a person for that. The meeting different people appeals to me to have dinner, conversation but letting it get farther than that does not appeal to me. Maybe the wild oats are not for everyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Should everyone try to experience the "taste of wild oats" at some point in their life? For those who have experienced it, are you glad you did, and did you eventually get over it and seek out more meaningful relationships? And for those who entered into serious relationships without the oats, have you ever longed for that experience? Media has certainly glamorized sex and the lifestyle of the "player." although I understand that it's not a very fulfilling way to live, i sometimes get the desire to experience it, especially when I'm in a relationship. It stems from jealousy and resentment of many of my friends who live or have lived a promiscuous lifestyle and the curiosity of that lifestyle. A lot of people get a taste of it during college or in their early to mid 20's; likewise there are people who go eat oats after a divorce or ending of a long relationship. For example, when I was visiting NYC, I was in awe at the number of people out there, and it made me wonder who else was out there...and it made me wonder what else there was to experience. What are your thoughts on wild oats...? I dont understand how wild oats grow....without the proper nutrients, sunlight fertilizer adn of course love....so i would rather research than participate in sprouting wild oats and then i might be able to graft logic onto confusion....i did agriculture at school one of my best subjects.we grew hydro wheat, horny sheep and super chickens....i was always into the grafting of fruit trees it fascinates me to have one tree of different fruits how cool is that.....im a closet geek..no interest in growing wild oats...seedlings should have two parents....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Bristolius Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 You don't eat or taste wild oats. You spread them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BehindBlueEyes Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 For the record: I believe Hokie that him and gf weren't together at the time we had "the thing". "It" did stop before they formally got back together. I am unclear if they were on a break or broken up but they were "off". So technically, there was no "cheating" of any kind involved. WTF??! you and him had a thing too? you mean like phone calls, meet-ups and stuff? Must be nice, Hokie....WTF are you actually having a problem with? Seems girls here all want a piece of you. God, I'm losing my sympathy for you....what do you have to complain about? I'd be in heaven if chicks digged me this much. Live it up, man. Link to post Share on other sites
BehindBlueEyes Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Just went outside for the second time today to get food. It was depressing seeing so many beautiful people out and about. Oh shut up, get over it, man.... All I see is girls here oogling on you and wanting to be "close" net friends and stuff to the point I make believe I am barfing. What more do you want for validation? Seems to me it's not about your looks, but more your attitude....change that and you';ll get any girl you want. If you think your Asian looks or wahtever is holding yo udown, I'l trade for it...I'd freakin go ape **** with all the validation from LS girls I'd get lol... You're wasting your life with this stupid crap....yo uneed to concentrate on your inner self more than your looks. Link to post Share on other sites
BehindBlueEyes Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Hokie, you need to get a motorcycle lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 Hokie, you need to get a motorcycle lol That's actually all I have right now...my car is sitting dead in the garage...waiting until after I get back from deployment to buy another one... Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Strangely enough, it is the insecure women whom popular PUA guidance seem to advocate targeting... You know it's funny...I never even heard of PUA before I found this forum. When I found out what it was I probably laughed for a good couple minutes. Anyways, you just validated my comment with what you said. Whatever PUA says...do the opposite. Unless you are a blind fool. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorhurting Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 WTF??! you and him had a thing too? you mean like phone calls, meet-ups and stuff? Must be nice, Hokie....WTF are you actually having a problem with? Seems girls here all want a piece of you. God, I'm losing my sympathy for you....what do you have to complain about? I'd be in heaven if chicks digged me this much. Live it up, man. seriously do I have to say it? you really don't know what his secret is? I will give you a hint: it starts with the letter A Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 a) curiosity. b) need for external validation. c) difficulty with emotional bonding. d) underlying anger/revenge You forgot to include, a lack of moral fiber. When another person is brought into the equation, well... Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Yea, Hokie is actually a player. Living the dream Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Assuming the length of deployment is substantial, reading the thread further, I'll change my opinion to ending the exclusivity of the current relationship, acting in homage to your natural style while deployed and, upon return, examining what next steps are to be, either with the lady in question or another lady. IMO, the current circumstances, as disclosed, don't support the price of her fidelity and loyalty during a long separation. Sometimes it's healthier to let someone one loves (presuming you do) go. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Sometimes it's healthier to let someone one loves (presuming you do) go.This would be the crux of the matter. For some, what is love? Link to post Share on other sites
BehindBlueEyes Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 That's actually all I have right now...my car is sitting dead in the garage...waiting until after I get back from deployment to buy another one... I'm getting a 2013 Hayabusa Super Sport....beat that, bitch! Link to post Share on other sites
BehindBlueEyes Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 seriously do I have to say it? No, I will barf...it is getting old. Link to post Share on other sites
BehindBlueEyes Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Assuming the length of deployment is substantial, reading the thread further, I'll change my opinion to ending the exclusivity of the current relationship, acting in homage to your natural style while deployed and, upon return, examining what next steps are to be, either with the lady in question or another lady. IMO, the current circumstances, as disclosed, don't support the price of her fidelity and loyalty during a long separation. Sometimes it's healthier to let someone one loves (presuming you do) go. You and TBF must be related,,,,I read twice and still don't know wtf this is.... I must not be elite enough....dammit. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 You and TBF must be related,,,,I read twice and still don't know wtf this is.... I must not be elite enough....dammit. I think he is saying since her biological clock is ticking away and since hokie isn't even sure about the relationship. He should end the relationship since it isn't fair that he keeps her waiting during his deployment - when he himself is still unsure. Well that is what I think it says. I am only basing that over past knowledge since I only read the op and carhills response in this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
BehindBlueEyes Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I think he is saying since her biological clock is ticking away and since hokie isn't even sure about the relationship. He should end the relationship since it isn't fair that he keeps her waiting during his deployment - when he himself is still unsure. Well that is what I think it says. I agree I guess. I'd hate to see her thinking she found the one while he himself isn't really in love or anything. I see a bad ending with her getting hurt bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 I think he is saying since her biological clock is ticking away and since hokie isn't even sure about the relationship. He should end the relationship since it isn't fair that he keeps her waiting during his deployment - when he himself is still unsure. Well that is what I think it says. I am only basing that over past knowledge since I only read the op and carhills response in this thread. The biological is a complete non-issue. Outside of adoption, kids are 100% not in the future for us... And I've told her a while back that it'd be an option to split during the deployment so she can do her own thing and not feel locked down into anything...she wouldn't have it...she said she didnt want to go anywhere else... Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 I agree I guess. I'd hate to see her thinking she found the one while he himself isn't really in love or anything. I see a bad ending with her getting hurt bad. The issue is that I AM in love in her...yet I still have conflicting feelings as I've described. If I didn't love her, then I'd have been gone long ago without much trouble. Sure, people may think that I can't love her if I'm feeling this way, but I'd disagree with that. Link to post Share on other sites
BehindBlueEyes Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Post 200............... Link to post Share on other sites
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