Star Gazer Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 lol yea, a long deployment Welcome back, soldier. Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 There were no other relationships after the first one. Just a few women I dated for a couple months at most. The current woman is my second relationship. Got it. Clarity... Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 So do you believe that the chance of a huge issue in the future is justification enough to end a relationship...?While I don't necessarily believe that every relationship needs to be long term, the fact that you want so badly to sleep around, points to cheating in a big way. All roads lead to cheating Hokie. So much unnecessary raw pain. Life wrecking stuff. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Welcome back, soldier. Thank you, Star 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 lol yea, a long deployment My turn... Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 While I don't necessarily believe that every relationship needs to be long term, the fact that you want so badly to sleep around, points to cheating in a big way. All roads lead to cheating Hokie. So much unnecessary raw pain. Life wrecking stuff. That's definitely not a place I would ever want to go. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 While I don't necessarily believe that every relationship needs to be long term, the fact that you want so badly to sleep around, points to cheating in a big way. All roads lead to cheating Hokie. So much unnecessary raw pain. Life wrecking stuff. I wouldnt say it leads to cheating. He could be like me and abhor cheating, in which case he can just dump the gf and go slut it up while single. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 My turn... I'm gonna pm you about that Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 That's definitely not a place I would ever want to go.Answer me honestly. Have you emotionally cheated on her through cyberspace yet or come close to it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I wouldnt say it leads to cheating. He could be like me and abhor cheating, in which case he can just dump the gf and go slut it up while single. They're no different. Considering, he's with her, he breaks up with her to sew wild oats, goes back to her, and the cycle repeats. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 happily ever after? Im gonna be real with you...shes about 20 years older than you. When her sex drive slows down, when shes aging at a much faster rate than you, and when shes slowing down cus shes either approaching or in her senior years...you wont see it as happily ever after....especiallyif you have to take care of her despite your own youthful vigor. In all likelihood you will long for someone your age who can keep up with you. I say this both to men and women when they start dating people way older than them. Have a bit more foresight. Your questioning what you want now because you know you want other women. I still think you are kinda settling. You got a late start in the dating game...why hold yourself back still? Go grab what you really want...cus to me, it doesnt seem like its your gf or we wouldnt see these somewhat iffy threads come from you. These are all things I think about and worry about...and she worries about these things too...I deal with it by just not thinking about it...so yes, in 10 years or however long it is, things could change and they might get ugly...we don't know what we don't know... Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I once read somewhere that a lack of "sowing your wild oats" will lead to cheating eventually (especially if you are a man). And that a lack of doing so is often (always) a red flag to women who are either a) turned off by your impotent youth or b) worried that you'll go out and try to make up for lost time one day. I have never thought that sowing your wild oats was important or necessary, but hey, what do I know? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Answer me honestly. Have you emotionally cheated on her through cyberspace yet or come close to it? Can't wait to see this answer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 Answer me honestly. Have you emotionally cheated on her through cyberspace yet or come close to it? Emotionally cheat as in develop romantic feelings for another and express interest in being with them while I was in the relationship? No. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Emotionally cheat as in develop romantic feelings for another and express interest in being with them while I was in the relationship? No.No cybersex with a third party or heavy flirting with the hopes of? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BehindBlueEyes Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 dON'T ANSWER, h...THEY ARE HANGING YOU. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 No cybersex with a third party or heavy flirting with the hopes of? Not while in the relationship. Would you like a timeline...? Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I once read somewhere that a lack of "sowing your wild oats" will lead to cheating eventually (especially if you are a man). And that a lack of doing so is often (always) a red flag to women who are either a) turned off by your impotent youth or b) worried that you'll go out and try to make up for lost time one day. I have never thought that sowing your wild oats was important or necessary, but hey, what do I know? While that may/may not be true, OP has been single longer than IN a relationship, so he's certainly had plenty of time and opportunity to "sew oats" without any "casualties". It seems when he starts dating someone, the urge surfaces. So, what does that say? But, he states he's told his girlfriend, that he has thoughts of other women and being with them sexually, and apparently she seems "okay with it". Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Not while in the relationship. Would you like a timeline...? No timeline is necessary. I'll believe you unless evidence points elsewhere in the future. Hokie, I smell the sulfur from the matches all over you even through the Internet. You're playing with fire. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 While that may/may not be true, OP has been single longer than IN a relationship, so he's certainly had plenty of time and opportunity to "sew oats" without any "casualties". It seems when he starts dating someone, the urge surfaces. So, what does that say? But, he states he's told his girlfriend, that he has thoughts of other women and being with them sexually, and apparently she seems "okay with it". That may be true. But, I thought this thread (based on the first post) was a general discussion of "wild oats", not a psychoanalysis of the OP. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 It seems when he starts dating someone, the urge surfaces. So, what does that say?As a guess, it's a confidence issue. When he's with someone, they provide him with enough security and validation of attractiveness, that he feels confident enough to venture out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 But, I thought this thread (based on the first post) was a general discussion of "wild oats", not a psychoanalysis of the OP. That's true too... Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 They're no different. Considering, he's with her, he breaks up with her to sew wild oats, goes back to her, and the cycle repeats. No. Cheating is secretly violating the explicit constraints of the relationship. If the relationship is over there is no cheating possible. Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 As a guess, it's a confidence issue. When he's with someone, they provide him with enough security and validation of attractiveness, that he feels confident enough to venture out. I've been called out for psychoanalyzing by 322 (which I was), so, I'm on a time out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 They're no different. Considering, he's with her, he breaks up with her to sew wild oats, goes back to her, and the cycle repeats. Who said anything about going back to her? Ive been saying I think he needs a girl his age and that it wont work with her. I dont believe in "breaks". If he dumps her that should be it forever. Link to post Share on other sites
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