Should I tell him something?

[blutoj]

Okay, I don't really want to tell him off, I'm just extremely pissed at the way things ended and I would love to give him a piece of my mind.*

 

Okay, here's my story...

 

We'd been dating for over 2 years. We were happy, in love, compatible, etc. You know, your ideal couple? Or so I thought. Anyway, out of the blue one day he says he thinks we should break up. Naturally, I was devastated.*

* * * "Why would you do this? I thought we were doing okay. I thought we were in love. What went wrong?"

 

* * * * * *I was that annoying ex girlfriend. Begging for another chance. Trying to fix some wrong that I was unaware of. Anyway, his reply was:

 

* * * *"you're a wonderful person. I really respect you. I think we made a great couple. But nothing lasts forever. I really like you, I just don't like the way we relate to each other anymore."*

 

I guess that made sense. We were in our senior year. And I guess I let the stress of applications, getting the best grades, and figuring out what to do with my life was getting in the way of our relationship. I'll admit. I was a little bitchy. So sue me, break up with me. Whatever.

 

Anyway, fast forward. I let it all go and had a great summer. Not a single date, or any other love interest. Not that I really minded....

 

As it turned out, this guy is going to the same college as me. Whoot. He texts me out of the blue and asks me to meet him for lunch. I thought it was weird, but accepted his invitation. When we met up, he told me how much he missed me, how I was such a wonderful girl, how he felt like an idiot for letting me go.... Yadda-yadda-yadda. He asked me for another chance. I figured, "what the hell?" It's not like I'm seeing anyone else, and I did really love him at one point.*

 

So for about 2 weeks, he was the sweetest guy. He kept telling me how

wonderful I was, how much he missed me. And I actually started to feel something for him again. But then, he tells me he's not into me. At all. These were his words. "I don't love you. I doubt I ever will. I feel nothing for you, just slight attraction. I love you as much as I love my friends. And I don't love my friends. I respect you. I just don't want to fool you into thinking something more will happen."*

 

So there I was, feeling like the biggest dumb ass in the world. He gave me all that good stuff, "let's still be friends, we can still date, but not really date."*

 

So I walked away. I started to cry, and made up some excuse about needing to be somewhere so he wouldn't see my tears... Again. His last words to me were, " I'm here if you need me. Let me know when you'll need to see me again."

 

This was a week ago. I've not contacted him, and he's not contacted me. What should I tell him? I don't want to walk away from this with him thinking he has something over on me. I want him to know how low he is. I want him to know that I don't want HIM. Not the other way around. I want him to feel rejected.*

 

It's his birthday in a few days. Should I tell him something? Like "happy birthday dillhole." Idk. I just want to leave this with the upper hand, you know?

 

Anyway, I just want some opinions on this. Maybe discussions amongst yourselves. You can use my story for your general amusement.*

[Calico]

You should write a letter to him and tell him how you feel about him and the "mixed messages" he's been sending to you, but do not send it to him! Only write it, don't give it to him! This way, you get it out of your system, but don't have to deal with the side effects. If you write it on paper, you can even burn it -- it's very cleansing, but don't accidentally burn down the dorm.

 

See, he has nothing over you. Right now, you are in control. He told you to contact him if you need him, so the ball of power is in your field. Sending him a letter, even one that you feel would give you some peace and put him into his place, will make him think, "Heh, she can't stay away from me." He'll respect you even less. He's the dumper. He walked away. And it has to be him to come back.

 

Also, sending him a letter like that, or worse: doing it in person, would only bring you temporary relief. Soon after, you'd regret it, feel like you had no control over yourself, made yourself look foolish or hysterical, fret that the harsh words may have ruined all future chances (sounds good right now, will not feel good in a few days or weeks when you start missing him), and so on. It's really not a good idea.

 

He knows you're hurt and he knows you're upset, and he can imagine that you're angry. Let him deal with that, it's not your job to give him clarity. He dumped you.