Teknoe Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 background info: I recently met this girl at a convention, got her info and we talked off and on for the past couple months. She does have a BF, though. I didn't find out until our first hangout though. August 11 we met for the first time other than that one time at the convention. It was a more formal meeting. We had a light dinner, talked and then I showed her my classroom. We spent about 1.5 hours decorating it. Playing music on our phones... cool night breeze flowing in. Good banter. Drove her back to the parking lot and wished her a good night. It wasn't a date, but it felt like one. It was just a really enjoyable evening. I really enjoyed her company and some of our shared stories were very similar. I felt like we have been buddies since junior high. FLASH FWD TO TONIGHT That friend and I hung out again tonight. We grabbed some dinner on a Friday night and then she invited me back to her apartment. We were alone for about a minute until her roommate came home. Yes, she is someone's girlfriend, so nothing was going to happen, anyway. But, it was a fun night hanging out with an attractive woman. She did, interestingly enough, mention tonight that her boyfriend has not been as supportive this year as he was last. She dropped this in too "I wish I could move away farther from him!" (tongue in cheek but still an interesting comment on her part) The craziest thing though... she offered me to sleep over. Yes, her roomie was there, but she said she has a nice air mattress I could sleep on. I declined, though. Looking back though, I think she would have set the mattress up in her room. Huh. I can't tell if she's just uber friendly or if she's testing the waters. I haven't contacted her since last night, keeping my distance for now, as I don't wish to be a home wrecker. If she IS interested in me, she's off limits for sure until at least she is single. But even then, I'll play my cards carefully as I don't want to be the rebound guy (I have been the rebound guy before, and I have been cheated on before... neither are very fun)
ja123 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Well, it sounds like she really likes you. But, I'm always suspect when someone has to have another person lined up before they can make the break from the current relationship. If you don't want to be the rebound guy, then I'd stay clear.
utterer of lies Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 If you don't want to be the rebound guy, then I'd stay clear. No matter how much you tell this to people, it never works. Teknoe: Too bad you didn't sleep over or were more agressive. Did you learn something from that night?
Author Teknoe Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 No matter how much you tell this to people, it never works. Teknoe: Too bad you didn't sleep over or were more agressive. Did you learn something from that night? Hmm, I dunno, haha. If she were single I would have taken her up on it. But she's not. And it didn't seem right. Someone once told me that (certain) women can make for great friends, but change drastically in a relationship. It's about learning to appreciate a woman's friendship and nothing beyond that, especially in cases where the woman already has a boyfriend.
ja123 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Yeah but she's interested in you more than friends, and vice versa. You are rationalizing and kidding yourself on the "let's just be friends" bit. This is a slippery slope, man. Be honest with yourself, and accept the choice you're going to make by hanging around and being the other guy. Be honest about the price you're going to pay by doing that: being the rebound guy, not being emotionally available to meet someone else, etc.
Author Teknoe Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 On 3rd thought, I think it was clear... she wanted a little action Friday night. That, or at the very least, she wanted it to be a possibility. Although part of me is curious what would have happened had I slept over (ahem, curiosity killed the cat right...) after having 48 hours to digest the whole thing, I'm thankful things worked out as they did. More harm than good was what that situation was all about.
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