She is always on Zoosk and adding guys - accusing her - but wants me to trust her

[lover4721]

So I have a friend and we hung out two times.

 

This relationship is 3 months old.

 

She has told me she wants to date me but can't because I don't trust her. I didn't trust her because she changed her city on Zoosk, when she moved back to college.

 

She also said when we weren't talking, I could be the one and she needs my trust.

 

However, now she ran off with someone else and has been talking to him on Skype for days. She said she was talking to her friend Gabby, but they are both on at the same time. She got mad when I asked her who she was talking to (I asked in a joking manner because she kept going offline and online) and she said don't talk to me, I'm getting tired of the accusing...

 

So anyhow, she also said her guy friend invited her to a party, but actually, the new guy she has been talking to goes to the same campus of the 'party'...

 

I was led on by her for 3 months and I am not sure what she wants anymore but I need some advice.

 

I want to leave her alone for a while (been for two days) and let her come back to me. Then I don't know what to do from there... Leave her because she was probably looking for other people before our 'fight?' OR, give her my trust, because maybe she wasn't really looking for people UNTIL our small fight we had...

 

I think my accusing her made her ran away since she said she reacts to people around her. I didn't talk to her for about three days and maybe she thought I was moving on. She said "When you shutdown, I shutdown."

 

So any advice?

 

Basically, I have two choices HOWEVER, doing both can either remove a positive OR add a negative.

 

I move on, what if she really liked me but didn't like me accusing her, so she found someone else? Like maybe she wasn't guilty of finding someone else, and I truly actually made her go look for someone else who wasn't going to accuse her?

 

I stay here, what if she was finding someone else and I get hurt?

Edited September 8, 2012 by lover4721

[Mme. Chaucer]

From your posts, I can tell that you are not really in a place to be in a relationship right now - especially not a complicated one that involves distance, Zoosk, Skype, whatever.

 

Keep it simple. Try to meet some girls for coffee and see if you would like to hang out further with any of them. NEVER accuse them of anything.

 

What somebody does with themselves when they are not in a committed, exclusive relationship is not up for being "accused." If she were your actual girlfriend and you were in a committed relationship, "accusing" is completely wrong.

 

The bottom line is, you can't handle this situation.

[lover4721]

Yeah I know I keep making posts because my replies to old threads never seem to gain any audience.

 

But you are right. We weren't committed and I know I shouldn't have really accused her. :/ I just didn't seem it were fair that I wouldn't search for anyone else, and she would.

 

This relationship sounds very childish and both of us are almost 20.

 

Oh and I'm not looking for a distant relationship. I had this Zoosk account for years when my ex's brother's friend was talking about it. I haven't received a message for years until then she messaged me. And as fake as it may sound, I was laying down in bed the night before and I was just picturing my life as being happy with someone that I truly enjoyed. It was really weird...

 

I love your advice, keep it coming please? Sometimes I need a lot of motivation to move on. I need someone to see the things I can't see.

 

So I think accusing her made her move on... She used to say she was going to tell me she would be mine and that she was kidding about not having enough time. She said I could be the one. You think?

How can I repair this?

Edited September 8, 2012 by lover4721