jerba Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago out of the blue after 3 weeks of long distance. The long story of it is in my other post in this forum (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/345242-what-happened-there-hope) but I just wanted to make a shorter summary to try and get some advice since it's a pretty long/intense story that not everyone has time for. Everything was going great and we talked every day but at the end of her trip came the anniversary of her ex's death (she cheated on him and he broke it off then committed suicide shortly after so naturally she blames herself even though he had some history of mental problems). She was going through a rough time but I was there for her and she told me she was glad to have me and hoped I didn't think it changed how she felt about me. The next day was the same but she started to cheer up, especially when I told her I wanted to see her sooner than we had planned and she told me that she wanted to know a week in advance so she could start birth control. The next day her program ended and she traveled back to our state so we didn't talk until late but everything was still good. The day after she was a little more distant but she was also unpacking and at 2 am I get a text asking if we can skype and she says she thinks we should break up. She lists off some reasons that don't make sense like busy schedule (she knew entire schedule before dating), "we only work in person" (What?), we probably wouldn't have lasted forever (What again?). She then insinuated that maybe we shouldn't have even started dating and maybe alcohol was too much of an influence (completely untrue, we dated IN SPITE OF alcohol as you can see if you read the full crazy story I linked). It was just a complete turnaround from the rest of our relationship (2 months). We met during a trip and she was worried that *I* wasn't going to want to continue the relationship past the program's end but I told her I wouldn't have started dating her if I didn't really have feelings for her. She was really pushing for everything to move forward faster through the whole relationship and then she just immediately stopped short. So what do you guys think? I know she went through a lot but she also said a few hurtful things. I really wanted to make it work but we just left it off with me saying I still cared about her but couldn't force her to stay with me if she didn't want to. She wanted to remain friends still but we haven't talked for nearly 3 weeks outside of a text she sent about some product cd key. Should I try to initiate some contact or keep up no contact and just move on and see if she ever tries to talk to me? This is my first serious relationship and I feel like she had real feelings for me but I don't know what to think.
TaraMaiden Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Stay with NC. Read the link in my signature. I think - sorry - you were Mr Rebound Guy - there when she needed it.
Author jerba Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 Well it was actually the 3 year anniversary of his death and I know she has dated a couple of guys since but I'm not sure how long they lasted. I'm not sure if rebound is the right word. Do you think she just used me while she was lonely over the summer even while pushing for it to get more serious? She apologized frequently during the few days she was upset and told me that it normally wasn't this bad and she was normally feeling better by the start of fall semester (the day after we broke up).
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