LK30 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I was in the office yesterday and one of the girls was upset as one of her best mates and colleagues has now left for another job. I said to her 'don't worry, you've still got me, your Christian Grey' to cheer her up. She laughed and one of the other women in the office piped up 'Christian Grey, are you have a laugh?! Ok, your suit is good but I'm afraid I don't see any resemblance darling - you're far from my image of him!' Ok, I know he's fictional, but there were about 10 women listening. To be fair they're middle aged old women, but I just felt so embarrassed. Giving her her due, I'm no looker and she's probably right, but it really hurt. It's really made me feel like I'm never going to find someone nice, and probably explains why I've been single so long and nobody notices me. Why can't I be blessed with my brother's looks?! By coincidence my brother is off on honeymoon with his beautiful new wife, and thought I'd invite a girl round who I've known for about 2 years to take advantage of having house to myself. We only really see each other at rare family events but flirt like mad and it then goes quiet for months. She's been messaging me loads this week (some of her messages suggestive) but she said she fancied me. We agreed to meet today and enjoy a fine late summer's day but she cancelled. I had a feeling she would as she didn't seem to be making much effort at arranging time to meet and checking where my house was. She's let me down a couple of times before and I had a feeling she'd cancel. I texted her when I finally got her 'excuse' and said I won't be messed around again and I think it's best if we don't contact each other any more. She messaged me saying I'm out of order and an idiot, but the rest of the messages were her asking why I'm being like this. I waited in all day and in the end wasted the day. I think I'm being played for a fool. My brother is so lucky - off in Las Vegas and I'm home alone writing my hard luck story. Everything he touches turns to gold - mine to crap!!
SmileFace Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Who is Christian Grey? Well last name Grey, fictional character from that book I assume.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 (edited) She's let me down a couple of times before and I had a feeling she'd cancel. I texted her when I finally got her 'excuse' and said I won't be messed around again and I think it's best if we don't contact each other any more. She messaged me saying I'm out of order and an idiot, but the rest of the messages were her asking why I'm being like this. I waited in all day and in the end wasted the day. I think I'm being played for a fool. If she cancelled on you a few times then yes, let her go. If she wants to call you names to for it, then even more reason to let her go. She doesn't sound like a very nice person. Lastly, if things you touch turn to crap, then turn them into fertilzer. Which in reality produces things while gold just lays around collecting dust. Edited September 8, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
january2011 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 There are some days where it seems as though the world is out to get you. Sometimes it really is. Sometimes it's just your worldview and you ascribe negative meanings to what are essentially meaningless events. If the day's not over yet, wherever you are, then go do something that will put a smile on your face. Then wakeup tomorrow and remind yourself that "today's a new day" and put yesterday (today) behind you. 2
johan Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 She said a simple thing: you don't match her image of that character. Simple statement. 95% of guys probably don't. What you took it to mean is: I'm not attractive. I'm never going to find someone nice. It probably explains why I've been single so long and nobody notices me. I'm inferior to my brother. Everything my brother touches turns to gold. Everything I touch turns to crap!! Try not to let simple things people (women) say get you into that mindset. 2
Radu Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I was in the office yesterday and one of the girls was upset as one of her best mates and colleagues has now left for another job. I said to her 'don't worry, you've still got me, your Christian Grey' to cheer her up. She laughed and one of the other women in the office piped up 'Christian Grey, are you have a laugh?! Ok, your suit is good but I'm afraid I don't see any resemblance darling - you're far from my image of him!' Ok, I know he's fictional, but there were about 10 women listening. To be fair they're middle aged old women, but I just felt so embarrassed. Giving her her due, I'm no looker and she's probably right, but it really hurt. It's really made me feel like I'm never going to find someone nice, and probably explains why I've been single so long and nobody notices me. Why can't I be blessed with my brother's looks?! Believe it or not, that little joke was good, or somewhat good. It doesn't matter, they laughed. I think your embarassment came from the fact that you don't deep down believe you are worth this. But you are. By coincidence my brother is off on honeymoon with his beautiful new wife, and thought I'd invite a girl round who I've known for about 2 years to take advantage of having house to myself. We only really see each other at rare family events but flirt like mad and it then goes quiet for months. She's been messaging me loads this week (some of her messages suggestive) but she said she fancied me. We agreed to meet today and enjoy a fine late summer's day but she cancelled. I had a feeling she would as she didn't seem to be making much effort at arranging time to meet and checking where my house was. You were ego boost for her. This type of girl is young, and is doing this as validation. From her point of view, it's not like this ... she simply has other offers and it's a seller's market [she is the seller]. But the deep down reality is that she did this to prove to herself she is hot, she is desired. Some girls will do this kind of thing. She's let me down a couple of times before and I had a feeling she'd cancel. I texted her when I finally got her 'excuse' and said I won't be messed around again and I think it's best if we don't contact each other any more. She messaged me saying I'm out of order and an idiot, but the rest of the messages were her asking why I'm being like this. I waited in all day and in the end wasted the day. I think I'm being played for a fool. Read what i wrote above. Now that you called her out on her bull**** excuse and are rejecting her, she is trying to lure you back into that same position. If you will start chasing her again, she will flake on you again. If you want to hold the upper hand, in other future interactions 'neutralize' her. That means to make her neutral to you, for you to be ambivalent to her. Look at her with the same eyes you would look at your 75yr old grandma. In effect you will become a blemish on her, you will be a thorn in her side because her ego can't handle you not following her like a puppy. I was in the exact same position as you, and i did this. Guess what, this same girl is still trying to hook me. My brother is so lucky - off in Las Vegas and I'm home alone writing my hard luck story. Everything he touches turns to gold - mine to crap!! If your brother's only asset is his good looks, i truly pity him. It's interesting the last line you wrote. If you literally become someone who always is right, who is a new king Midas, then your confidence will take care of everything else ... as it will be through the roof.
fortyninethousand322 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I think you should just stop texting this girl. And if she contacts you ignore it. If she tries to talk to you in person, walk away or ignore her if you can't physically leave.
Anela Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 It wasn't a nice thing to say, but she probably didn't think that you would take it so personally. Be thankful you aren't like him, though. I don't like the sound of the character at all, and don't understand the big to-do over him. A lot of women feel the same way, young and old(er). I have my own thoughts about the girl - you could be right about her, or she could just be nervous. I don't know what she's like, though - you do. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I was in the office yesterday and one of the girls was upset as one of her best mates and colleagues has now left for another job. I said to her 'don't worry, you've still got me, your Christian Grey' to cheer her up. She laughed and one of the other women in the office piped up 'Christian Grey, are you have a laugh?! Ok, your suit is good but I'm afraid I don't see any resemblance darling - you're far from my image of him!' Ok, I know he's fictional, but there were about 10 women listening. To be fair they're middle aged old women, but I just felt so embarrassed. Do middle aged women not matter OP?
Author LK30 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 Thanks guys, good response. I suppose we all hope for the Christian (or Christina!) Grey of our life! I guess I should just take it with a pinch of salt. As for the girl I just always sensed she wasn't going to meet me, I just gave her the benefit of the doubt. I don't think she's nervous, and think I was mainly annoyed as she just kept me waiting and waiting til nearly the evening before she said she couldn't make it, and that was only because I put her on the spot and asked her as I wanted to plan my day! I shall refrain from replying to her messages. She's stopped now anyway so think she's got the hint! I don't think I deserve to keep being let down by people :-)
Recommended Posts