This break up has messed me up so much

[supermanthatho]

I really can't take it no more. Close to 3 a bit months we've been broken up and I'm really all over the place. I'll admit I have terrible terrible thoughts about self harming myself. These thoughts are constant, every single day. I've seen someone and I have talked about it with a psychiatrist. I'm trying to get help but in all honesty it's makes me feel worse and I have told them that. I'm a good person that deserves none of this. I dont think about harming others which is good. It's just myself, that I feel I'd rather be dead

[gullibleme]

I've been there...please remember those who love you and how harming yourself affects them tremendously!!! Your exactly right...you didn't deserve none of this...neither did I, when I was at my lowest point I let myself feel the emotions then began putting things into perspective...I was not happy with him when I really thought about us, I didn't like how the relationship went, I was walking on eggshells trying not to rock the boat constantly,I loved how I felt when I LOVED HIM, I think thats what it was for me. If he couldn't see that I loved him then the next man will appreciate me. It does get better....give it more time and read on here for a while..it helps to see your not alone....

[supermanthatho]

I've been there...please remember those who love you and how harming yourself affects them tremendously!!! Your exactly right...you didn't deserve none of this...neither did I, when I was at my lowest point I let myself feel the emotions then began putting things into perspective...I was not happy with him when I really thought about us, I didn't like how the relationship went, I was walking on eggshells trying not to rock the boat constantly,I loved how I felt when I LOVED HIM, I think thats what it was for me. If he couldn't see that I loved him then the next man will appreciate me. It does get better....give it more time and read on here for a while..it helps to see your not alone....

 

 

Thank you. Yeh the only thing thats stopping me from doing that is my family but im really unsure how long it will be till i say FML all together and go for it. My friends will do just fine and I dont think my ex will even give a **** if this is how easy it is for her to put me through this.

[not-a-drive-by]

3 months since the BU for me, and I am feeling every single bit of hurt, pain and sadness in me. I feel pathetic, useless, miserable and don't see any point in life at the moment. Sometimes I do think about just not looking when I cross the road or hope that something will just take my life away. But then I think, it's not going to bring them back to us. Sure, it may inflict some slightest pain or attention from them, but in the end, they will get back on with their lives without us. Why give them the upper hand?

 

It's hard to give this advice because I am struggling with it myself. Live. Be that good person you are. We all don't deserve any of this. Heartbreaks are cruel.

[supermanthatho]

3 months since the BU for me, and I am feeling every single bit of hurt, pain and sadness in me. I feel pathetic, useless, miserable and don't see any point in life at the moment. Sometimes I do think about just not looking when I cross the road or hope that something will just take my life away. But then I think, it's not going to bring them back to us. Sure, it may inflict some slightest pain or attention from them, but in the end, they will get back on with their lives without us. Why give them the upper hand?

 

It's hard to give this advice because I am struggling with it myself. Live. Be that good person you are. We all don't deserve any of this. Heartbreaks are cruel.

 

you sound more stronger than me i can slowly feel like my body is shuttin down soon. I also never look both ways no more and when i see the lights turn red i drive thru it. Any reason to get me out of here. Id rather make it look like an accident for my families sake

[aliceb1987]

I am so sorry to hear about your upset...have been in similar situations many times but nothing so bad as what you are going through.Please do not drive through red lights though,you may end up hurting others in the process and though i know that probably isnt the first thing on your mind right now im sure underneath you would never want that.Also,how long has it been since your breakup? and is this the first time you have been treated this way?

 

NOBODY is worth dying or harming yourself for,for the reasons the above person said.I have self harmed over people,and messed myself up taking drugs etc for attention before some years ago but it never made them want me more or care about me any more all it is doing is torturing yourself...and blaming yourself is the worst route to go down and is totally unfair as i am sure none of this is your fault.

 

I know its easy to say all of that but life is constantly changing and revolving,the pain will not be as bad forever.Take care x

[Mint Sauce]

if you nice and caring people step out of this life, then where are we, the other nice and caring people who are still looking forward to something new and better, with someone nice and caring, going to find someone new??

 

Please stay so we can find each other!

[supermanthatho]

if you nice and caring people step out of this life, then where are we, the other nice and caring people who are still looking forward to something new and better, with someone nice and caring, going to find someone new??

 

Please stay so we can find each other!

 

I cant stay here much longer im sorry

[Freshstart637]

Did you go through the breakup process/stages? Or did you suppress your feelings?

 

I am on week 3 and moving along, I am not strong either, I am a wuss when it comes to heartbreaks. Just looking and waiting for the day I meet my life partner. If it's forever then let it be. Just continue on, hang in there. Make sure you aware of the stages of a breakup and try go through them. It really helps. I got burned pretty bad in this last breakup, but I'm slowly picking up.

 

I can honestly say I lost my trust, respect, and feel betrayed. If she ever wanted to come back, um HELL NO! Biatch. She did me dirty on the breakup. Don't care about hope, my mentality is now, please don't show yourself. I don't want to see your pathetic face or hear your annoying voice.

 

We have a house together that she left, I am having my Aunt deal with her. I'm done.

[supermanthatho]

Did you go through the breakup process/stages? Or did you suppress your feelings?

 

I am on week 3 and moving along, I am not strong either, I am a wuss when it comes to heartbreaks. Just looking and waiting for the day I meet my life partner. If it's forever then let it be. Just continue on, hang in there. Make sure you aware of the stages of a breakup and try go through them. It really helps. I got burned pretty bad in this last breakup, but I'm slowly picking up.

 

I can honestly say I lost my trust, respect, and feel betrayed. If she ever wanted to come back, um HELL NO! Biatch. She did me dirty on the breakup. Don't care about hope, my mentality is now, please don't show yourself. I don't want to see your pathetic face or hear your annoying voice.

 

We have a house together that she left, I am having my Aunt deal with her. I'm done.

 

I went through everything the internet or people ever said to me. NO CONTACT was straight away including deleting on fb, phone, and whatever else i had. However i do admit to keeping everything i ever shared with her in a box in the cellar but i ddnt think that would drag me down at all. You sound like you got your head in the right place. Keep it up man and dont be like me ok

[Crila16]

I've been there. I felt exactly that way about a boyfriend from 10 years ago. Now I can't stand him. THANK GOD I didn't end my life over him. He skeeves me out now. Sooooo not worth it.

 

Just get through the pain. Someone even better will be coming along soon, who you'll like even more. That I can guarantee.

[Freshstart637]

How long did it take you to find someone better? Where did you find the person?

[supermanthatho]

I've been there. I felt exactly that way about a boyfriend from 10 years ago. Now I can't stand him. THANK GOD I didn't end my life over him. He skeeves me out now. Sooooo not worth it.

 

Just get through the pain. Someone even better will be coming along soon, who you'll like even more. That I can guarantee.

 

There is another girl iv had my eye on for a while, i like her but im just in the friendzone. She just got out of a 4 yr relationship and wants the single life which is fair enough. I prefer us being friends right now anyway as i am still deeply in love with my ex. However i have never experienced liking 2 ppl at the same time and knowing i cant have any of them really tears me. Btw with the girl iv had my eyes on she tells all my female friends that im hot and stuff and really ffunny. But when we had a serious convo 1 on 1 she said that she likes me but not ready to hook up or anything till she has her space. That all just means friendzone to me and ill never be able to get out

[dinosaur]

Hello love,

 

I was in a 3 year relationship and we broke up in May. Not just 2 weeks ago (3.5 month pt) I was furious and still upset and crying. My friends had planned a trip to Las Vegas and I didn't even want to go. Guess what? I had a great time and experienced a whole different side of myself. Go do something wild; have fun. I promise you there will be other people who will appreciate you - who will see something in you that this person could not. I was thinking "no one will love me like he did" - but of course they will! If they loved you, someone else will.

 

There were parts where I felt like I didn't want to go back but I couldn't resist them, but now they've called me over quite a few times and I don't even bother replying. I just don't care. Give it time, I swear it will happen as long as you try to get over it. But go out there and do something. The first few times I forced myself to do something, true, I was upset but as soon as I made tons of memories without this person not everything reminded me of them and I stopped talking and caring about them.

 

XO

[not-a-drive-by]

I promise you there will be other people who will appreciate you - who will see something in you that this person could not. I was thinking "no one will love me like he did" - but of course they will! If they loved you, someone else will.

 

What if the reason that they fell for you was the reason why it drove them away? Does that mean the next person who falls in love with me, will also be driven away for the very same reason?

[Calico]

What if the reason that they fell for you was the reason why it drove them away? Does that mean the next person who falls in love with me, will also be driven away for the very same reason?

 

The reason people give you isn't necessarily the real reason. It may simply be an excuse, some bullcrap that "sounds good" or is "acceptable". It doesn't matter, though. You will never know for sure and it has no impact on your healing process. Some reasons are easier to swallow than others, granted, but at the end it's all about YOU letting go and YOU moving on, and that's a process that's completely independent of what your ex said, did or thought. As a friend "eloquently" put it: F the noise!

 

We talked about that yesterday: Nothing is permanent, and you never know. If you enter a new relationship and think, "God, what if he will also dump me!", how well is that going to go? Be yourself and it works or it doesn't. No one is worth bending over backwards.

 

Wrap your mind around the idea that nothing lasts and that all you'll ever have is the HERE and NOW, the moment, the "is-ness". There are no guarantees and there is no safety, promises of "forever" are false promises, even if they are well intended and temporarily believed. People (me included) try so hard to make everything last "forever", and think it's only good if it lasts, but that is the source of the pain.