winstonsdreams Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 So basically i have posted on here a few times. I broke up with my ex girlfriend 4 months ago, she has had a new boyfriend over 2 months now and i know i need to move on. Something in my head is not letting this girl go, i have been NC for 5 weeks, i sent her a last email after i tried to get her back, i wished her good luck and PROMISED i would give her all the space she needed to move on. i know she has moved on but i want to reach out to her for some stupid reason, something inside me believes she still thinks of me and wants me back, even though she has a boyfriend! I don't talk about her to friends or family anymore but i still think about her all the time. I still love her and really regret ending it, but i know she is happy and moved on. Can somebody give me some advice on why NC is so important and why it would be incredibly STUPID to contact her at this point. I am 29 and need to man up i guess, but i find myself pining for her nearly every moment i am awake. I miss her still! Helps guys!
soccerrprp Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 winstonsdreams, NC is important because it allows you to move on quicker. Stay with it in your case. If she were not dating, if she breaks NC, then you may have a reasonable chance, but she is dating and you think that she has moved on and she has not broken NC, so I'm afraid you don't have a reasonable chance. And, don't you think it would be unfair of you to make contact when she has moved on? When it was you who dumped her (that is what it sounds like)? If you really love her, let her be and let her make the move to make contact. Don't interfere with what good thing she may have with her new bf... 1
mistermr Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I feel your pain bro If she wanted you she would come back. That's the cold, hard truth. Maybe she will one day? But how long are you willing to wait? Why not enjoy life in the meantime and maybe you'll meet someone who wants to be with you? 1
Author winstonsdreams Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 It helps so much hearing this guys, i did break up with her. She did what she was entitled to and she moved on. I know i need to focus on healing and moving on now, i just can't believe how long it's taking me. She really is over me, she loved me so much. She must have a really good thing going with her new boyfriend. I feel like such an idiot pining for her still, she probably doesn't even care about me anymore. NC really is the way to go. I can't believe i may not hear from her ever again, to be honest i don't even want to while she has a new boyfriend! I can't bare the thought of dating right now, not until i am over it, it just wouldn't be right! It just seems to be taking so long to move on!
ladyabstrused Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 From my experience, breaking NC has left me hurt again and again. When I kept NC strictly, I started to heal much faster and move on faster. I guess I kept myself as busy and as tired as I could be during the day. And getting enough sleep is important too. So yeah, tire myself out physically and mentally so I won't dwell on the break up and all the pain that comes with it, then being able to sleep cos I'd be so tired by the bed time. Things have gone pretty well, it's been about 3 months of strict NC. 4 months since the break up. Was really hard that first month of NC... kept breaking it. :\ But kept hurting more and more each time I did. Good luck with your NC and healing. I hope things will get better for you soon. Try to keep yourself occupied.
AlexfromBoston Posted September 13, 2012 Posted September 13, 2012 Winston, here is what I typically do if I am attempting a NC situation. I will say to myself, "ok Alex, today is Wednesday and I will avoid talking to her until Saturday...but on Saturday, I am going to text her. Now when Saturday rolls around you just need to book your entire day with your buddies and just have a good time. Lose the cell for a day, grab some beers and enjoy the single life. Now when Saturday passes just tell yourself, "ok, I blew my one chance to call her on Saturday but I will grant myself a second chance to call her on Tuesday". And on Tuesday you do the exact same thing...keep busy and lose the phone. For me, it provides a sense of hope...albeit a false sense. I feel like I am going to attempt to contact her but whenever I get the chance, I am just way too busy to occupy my time with a random call/text to the ex. And while you are committing to this plan, you might just have a little fun in the process. Winston, the single life IS a great time if you truly embrace it. You can do what you want, when you want. When you start to enjoy life, you will find that she will come crawling back. 1
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