Charmed_29 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 This is going to be a long one sorry but I'm hoping that by writing it down and getting some impartial opinions I will finally move on, I met my ex partner four years ago on a dating site we were so on and of for the first year as he was just after sex and I kept leaving him after the first 4 months it became more steady for about 6 months until I got drunk one night while out with his friends (I wasn't that that embarrassing but apparently said something no one could understand) and he text me saying he wasnt strong enough to take on another mans kids and wouldn't even talk to me when I tried ( I have two children from my first love) so I left it.. Two days later he was back on the dating site... I knew his password and could see that he was messaging anyone and everything. Fast forward three months in which I still thought about him and I get a text saying how am I.... Over the course of a few texts it turns out he missed me so over the period of a few weeks we started seeing each other again then three months later I fell pregnant which he wouldn't talk about other than to say how do you feel about abortion... I went for the abortion and asked him to come and he said he couldn't leave work so I went alone but he assured me he would come straight after work which he didn't and I ended up being pretty Ill and taken into hospital... Still I stayed with him and a month or so later he asked to move in and I let him, he linked up his computer to my tv and while I was on it I went to sign into my facebook and his was automatically signed in, no I shouldn't of look but I couldn't resist after all that had happened and it turns out he had been messaging woman after got back together including one prostitute (who never even replied,) showed him I saw and he was sorry said I was too good for hi. And could get any man I want and if I wasn't low after my break from first love I never would have got with him and yet again I forgave him. Six months later I fell pregnant Again and we kept it and now have a beautiful son... He asked my other two to call him dad and changed their surname to his. My son is now 21 months and on the 6th of August I found a list he had wrote while cleaning of all the people he slept with including some prostitutes of courses lost it a bit as my name was in this list and I did put some of his stuff outside in a box outside but it was not thrown, and he just said thats it I'm going you will never let this go, it's worth bearing in mind that this is the man that the week before told me at my sisters wedding that don't worry babe we will get married eventually ( our wedding was postponed We were struggling with money where I left work After having our son and moving to a big house not as close to my friends and family) A week later I asked him to return and he said no because he doesn't love me anymore apparently I hate his family and yeah I didn't like them and they used to put me on edge but they would deliberately leave out my other two children and not give them gifts at bdays or Xmas and give me sly digs... It's worth noting that his family are weird his sister blows raspberryz on his belly and are all over him and when we told them I was pregnant he was at the table holding and kissing his sisters hand! Wtf! Thing is when we were together a few months before we split his mum threatened to kick him out of the will As he wasn't bothering much with his sister because of these reasons and he was so angry! I was upset he would leave me cause of the making him choose and he assured me that he wouldn't even dream of leaving me... He even told my mum basically f*** thEm as we don't have to see them often. Also that I spent to much money when we didn't have any....which I hold my hands up I proberly did but I never didn't pay the bills and he wasn't moaning when I was paying for us to do things... Also that I don't do enough housework this coming from the man who spent all of his time sat in the sofa watching tv! Basically he can't talk to me as I turn it around on him.... However when I used to get upset he would pull me to his lap and hold me there rubbing my back and every time I would try to say something he would shhh me... said he'd changed for me and the list was done a few years ago but when I said I will change all those things and make a effort with your family ect even though I had never ever been impolite and always sent them gifts and the like but he said people can't change. He picked my mum up from the airport as she had paid him to before we split and when she told him I had changed ( not for him for me I.e my anxietyd and therapy) he said jpanyone can change for a few weeks let's see what shes like in 3 months or so. He asked to take our 21 month old to Devon and I said it was a bit soon as I'm a very protective mother but that I won't stop him seeing them as he's a good dad, a week later he's asking again and when I said no he started being funny wouldn't answer his phone or texts, i tried to explain that i was worried Bout my baby being that far awAy and him saying he shouldnt have to contact me when hes got him, When I finally spoke to him I gave in and said he could take the bAby as I just can't handle fighting and plus he had told my mum he could use my other sons autism against me in court!!and I couldn't put my son through that. He arranged to see the other two for a hour a few days later...when he saw them he didn't speak to them about leaving or anything He then changed his mind and promised me that he would contact me and he did when he put him to bed saying to our son where's mummy baba and telling me they will be back before 5 tomorrow.. He also text my mum on her birthday at 6.55 am saying happy bday when he never even normally replies to his texts at the best of times in all the years we were together and suddenly he texts my mum the moment he opens his eyes! He brings him back and leaves then texts me 4 days later about seeing them this weekend and was like hi, hope all you guys are ok ( which is what he used to say when we were together i.e what you guys going to do today) can I see them Sunday instead please.. I waited four hours to reply and when i did he replied instantly and he never does that. Apparently we had agreed every other weekend for baby and the weekend In between he will have them all for a day... We didn't agree that but I told him I was back at work and it wasn't fair for him to take my son everyweekend as I would not get any full days with him and he could see them one night a week and he suddenly was all agreeable Last night I looked at a mutual friends on Facebook and guess what he's back on there! He left Facebook after the stuff I found years before and always used to say Facebook is what's wrong with the world ect ect. He joined again three weeks after we split and is adding his exes and people we slept With but He's put it so that no one can find him in search bar but didn't block me ? I guess I'm asking how can he go from talking about our wedding one week then leave me and not love me and back on the net after a couple of weeks?? I feel like our whole relationship was a lie...he was so loving and we were even trying for a baby how can someone turn like that? I had post natal depression i now know after my son my dad died three weeks later on Xmas day and combine that with leaving work it really hit me hard he told me when my dad died he would be there for a shoulder to cry on but wouldn't take my **** also I was tested for cancer a few months ago and he still went and played football that same night! I'm sorting out my depression and low self esteem and am back at work but I can't understand why someone who acted like they were so in love with you and your kids then just turns and moves on so quick but still texts my mum at silly am when it's so unlike him.. I just want to get over him and not care if he's sleeping with all and sundry again... Everyone keeps telling me he was punching above his weight and I can do better but that doesn't really help :-( I loved him and looks don't matter to me. I know this is long but I needed to get it out, I hope someone can help me as I hate him knowing I'm sat here in turmoil whilst he clearly has just turnt the switch off! I need to let him go.
Author Charmed_29 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 It's worth noting he didn't just not reply to my texts when we were together he never normally answers texts and if he does it takes him along time all his friends and family always moaned about it.
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