irc333 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I think I've been coming across women, even though they have gone out with me, even scored a date...I've noticed they seemed a little too into themselves....it's not obvious, but a bit more subtle. They'll go out with you, but it's like they have no real interest in knowing about you. I think THIS post stems off the previous post about how people have one-sided conversations when trying to get to know someone, and it's like pulling teeth. Anyone?
USMCHokie Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 . ...it's like they have no real interest in knowing about you. = they have no real interest in you. 1
Author irc333 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 = they have no real interest in you. I'm starting to wonder if they are interested in ANYONE, if they do, it's rather short lived. I suppose that's not uncommon. We live in a spoiled society.
threebyfate Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 There are two potential sides to this. Are the women too into themselves or are the men too into themselves since they need the convo all about themselves? 1
carhill Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Proactive interest and curiosity is a great canary of compatible style. I offer proactively and watch for synergy. If none, next. That applies to relationships in general, of which romance is one. What I noticed a lot of, due to having a wider social circle when married, was how many people just talk about themselves without any real or sincere interest in or care about others at all. It was interesting to observe. Good information. 1
Author irc333 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 Proactive interest and curiosity is a great canary of compatible style. I offer proactively and watch for synergy. If none, next. That applies to relationships in general, of which romance is one. What I noticed a lot of, due to having a wider social circle when married, was how many people just talk about themselves without any real or sincere interest in or care about others at all. It was interesting to observe. Good information. Right, it's like they don't give a rats arse about what's going on in your life, they might give you nods here and there. But, people in general seem to be self-absorbed or even if things are their fault it's NEVER "their" fault. Social Networking sites even enhances this.
SJC2008 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I think I've been coming across women, even though they have gone out with me, even scored a date...I've noticed they seemed a little too into themselves....it's not obvious, but a bit more subtle. They'll go out with you, but it's like they have no real interest in knowing about you. I think THIS post stems off the previous post about how people have one-sided conversations when trying to get to know someone, and it's like pulling teeth. Anyone? Well if you're asking questions to get to know them they should do the same IMO. The girl I liked, other than asking me if I go to church on our first date didn't ask me crap. Well that could of been becasue she wasn't interested but who knows. I asked her if she likes to camp and she said no so then I asked her what she likes to do she goes "Umm not camping". It was funny I must admit but she made it very hard to get things going. That was another reason I couldn't get a read on her. That being said, I've yet to meet a woman who truly engaged in getting to know you convo. It seems like you just go out with them and hang out and that's it.
Author irc333 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 I asked her what she likes to do she goes "Umm not camping" That response would've been a turn off for me. Friggin' attitude/smart mouth. Why not just tell her own hobbies, instead of being a smart ass?
coolheadal Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 What are you looking for then? Girl friend, someone to live with or a soul mate? Today finding that right someone isn't that easy as most thing. Some are like a magnet for girls others are not. You might be with the wrong selfish women.
Author irc333 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 What are you looking for then? Girl friend, someone to live with or a soul mate? Today finding that right someone isn't that easy as most thing. Some are like a magnet for girls others are not. You might be with the wrong selfish women. Yeah, a lot of 'em out there I suppose.
coolheadal Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Yeah, a lot of 'em out there I suppose. Most are like this.. Do you want a girl from a nice family or one who was raise on the bad side. Those bad side one scare off a lot of men. More like back stabbers. Can't trust those. Your making money now so you can wait or go and find someone. But your not going to find them at the places your still hanging around now. Try something different. Take some of that money and book a trip go some place different you'll never know who you'll meet? Airport On the Plane Vehicle Rental Shuttle Hotel Lobby Travel to Hawaii or any of the Pacific Islands. Or get a native. Why settle for selfish women. I would work on this as much as you have worked on money 6 figures. Same concept. Make it a project. Scope it. Do whatever it takes to make it happen. Remember it's your life and do it now..
carhill Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I recall a guy and his wife sitting next to me in coach flying from Chicago to Tokyo underscoring the diversity and stereotype-busting nature of what one runs into in the real world. We got started on travel and talked a bit about economics/business and I complemented them both on their then-new Kindles they were reading books on. In the end, we swapped business cards and it turned out he was the Assembly speaker in his home state. Lawyer and politician. He never mentioned it at all during our 13 hour flight. So, yeah, I'd co-sign traveling as a great way of experiencing the diversity the world has to offer, as well as a way to run into people who have proactive interest in and curiosity about the world around them and the people in it. 4
coolheadal Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 In other words a change! Make it happen.. Change that segment that not working.. Turn left instead of turning right.. Make a new choice..
KatZee Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 (edited) = they have no real interest in you. This is exactly what I was going to say when I read your first post. It's not that they're too into themselves. It's just that they're not all that interested in YOU. They're on the date because they have to be. They met you, but guaranteed when you leave you'll never hear from her again. And I think it's wrong of you to assume it's because she's "spoiled and selfish." A woman will take one look at you and know within the first few seconds whether she'd have sex with you. If she's not interested it's not due to her being "selfish." She's not attracted. Not every single person is going to be attracted to you. Edited September 8, 2012 by KatZee 1
Author irc333 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 This is exactly what I was going to say when I read your first post. It's not that they're too into themselves. It's just that they're not all that interested in YOU. They're on the date because they have to be. They met you, but guaranteed when you leave you'll never hear from her again. And I think it's wrong of you to assume it's because she's "spoiled and selfish." A woman will take one look at you and know within the first few seconds whether she'd have sex with you. If she's not interested it's not due to her being "selfish." She's not attracted. Not every single person is going to be attracted to you. I beg to differ, I know people in relationships that are in situations where they find themselves doing all the work. It's a one-sided relationship, so obviously there's an attraction there, just an attraction they've been taking for granted. THere are married couples that have husband and wives that are like this.
Imajerk17 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 How did things work out w that girl from the party after?
Author irc333 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 How did things work out w that girl from the party after? Well, I asked her out just after the party and she agreed to it, now they days are getting closer and shes' been responding to my emails, but she responding in a way like, "Hey, I got your email, I decided to text you, but I'll return it on Facebook with a proper answer." And then she said, "Well, I have 2 days off, and I have no excuse to not give you an answer." This is day 2 of her 2 days off, and she's as of yet return my message, so I just no called her and left her a message on her voicemail. I almost said, jokingly 'Well, it's day 2, got on excuse? lol"? Funny how it works out for me, Boy meets girl Boy asks girl out on a date, girl agrees to the date Date gets closer, and all of a sudden they go into hiding. Story of my dating life. We'll see, day aint over yet.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 There ARE people who are way into themselves and not interested in others. And then there are people who aren't interested in you. Either way, they aren't for you so why bother judging them or trying to analyze? You really don't have enough to go on. I do question your stance, though. I get an impression that there is some kind of odd dynamic you are looking for where the person just appears to be all fascinated by you. You certainly haven't expressed any thoughts about what you have found interesting in any of your dating prospects … Anyway, when things are going well, and people are basically healthy types and not egomaniacs or completely shallow, both are interested in each other. I think that the feeling of being interested in the other ought to trump the concern about whether they are interested in you (or me). Of course, you notice if it's clear they aren't into you. That's when you cut your losses and move on.
kae Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 this person is clearly shallow. maybe not into herself.. with the right looking person she`can be different.. but it`s a looks thing. she didnt bother finding out about your deeper qualities and permit a real conversaiton to take place. she made a judgement call base physical attraction. i find that this is why many people are single or being cheated on too much value is put on appearances in our society. character and values are worthless. So much for don`t judge a book by it`s cover....hmm
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 this person is clearly shallow. maybe not into herself.. with the right looking person she`can be different.. but it`s a looks thing. she didnt bother finding out about your deeper qualities and permit a real conversaiton to take place. she made a judgement call based on physical attraction. She is not clearly shallow. We know almost nothing about her at all. What is wrong with needing physical attraction to be romantically interested in a person? I know that the OP would not bother extending his innermost self to a woman he didn't find physically attractive. And physical attraction is not all about "handsome," "pretty" or "hot," though those who have those attributes are certainly attracting the most people.
USMCHokie Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I beg to differ, I know people in relationships that are in situations where they find themselves doing all the work. It's a one-sided relationship, so obviously there's an attraction there, just an attraction they've been taking for granted. THere are married couples that have husband and wives that are like this. Many relationships and marriages have people who have waning interest or no real interest in the other. If you are not putting in your share of the "work," then you're probably no longer invested in the relationship or the person...
threebyfate Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 She is not clearly shallow. We know almost nothing about her at all. irc picks random profiles and starts creating imaginary straw-women to burn down. He knows nothing about these women beyond their profile pictures, barely reading their profiles on dating sites.
fortyninethousand322 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 irc picks random profiles and starts creating imaginary straw-women to burn down. He knows nothing about these women beyond their profile pictures, barely reading their profiles on dating sites. Nothing wrong with that. Makes for entertaining threads. Besides, generalizations are usually true.
threebyfate Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Nothing wrong with that. Makes for entertaining threads. Besides, generalizations are usually true.Solely entertaining for the misogynistic crowd since it provides them with the avenue to vent about their irrational bias against women. But it's not helping anyone get a date, including the thread starters. 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Solely entertaining for the misogynistic crowd since it provides them with the avenue to vent about their irrational bias against women. But it's not helping anyone get a date, including the thread starters. Be honest here. The guys that come on here looking for help getting dates aren't really ever going to get those dates. It's like encouraging the 5'2" guy in his goal of getting to the NBA. If you're a guy and you're over 21 and still single, you are a loser of epic proportions (unless we're talking austistic people or whatever). Being a good sport isn't going to change that. If you're going to spend your whole life single, might as well have some fun stereotyping and being misogynistic (if that's what floats your boat).
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