the ill-made knight Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 So army guy and I have been seeing each other now for a couple of months. We aren't official as of yet and I'm not positive that's where this is going though we both readily admit we are falling for each other. All that aside, he's a very charismatic, outgoing man and has tons of friends. Some of which are female and honestly, I see nor have any problem with that. However, he has this one woman friend that obviously has some type of crush on him. While he has assured me that he doesn't care for her in that way and doesn't think she cares for him in that way, I've just about had it up to here with her. She is constantly messaging him, flirting with him, etc. We discussed her a few days ago and he told me that if I wanted him to tell her to lay off he would. I told him I wouldn't want him to do so especially on my account, but unfortunately, I do think at this point something has to be said. So I ask you, LS, if the person you were dating/in a relationship with had a friend of the opposite sex that obviously had a thing for them and was constantly flirting with them, etc. would you want something to be said to that person?
mortensorchid Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 This is about trust. If the man has a woman friend and says he is not interested in her in that way, you have to believe him. I have a man friend whose gf was/is rather jealous of me. She accused him on more than one occasion of cheating (which never happened), and she broke up with him, moved out of the house. Five years later, she came back and is now back living with him. We got together a while ago, and she says she's different now and things have changed. Have they? You have to just trust.
ja123 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Well, from what you described it doesn't sound like he's interested in her or has anything to hide. But, if she is interested in him, then she wants more obviously and isn't happy with just being his friend. I'd not be happy if I were you, but I understand that you don't want to tell him what to do; however, if she sends him a flirty text again, then yeah, just say casually, "Honey, I think it's time you tell this chick to back off, don't you think?" See how he responds. If he's like, "Yeah, no sweat." Then things are cool. If he doesn't want to, well, then, you need to re-assess.
ja123 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I have a man friend whose gf was/is rather jealous of me. She accused him on more than one occasion of cheating (which never happened)... You probably weren't flirting with him, though; nor, he with you, right? So, in that case it was platonic on both sides. I think what the OP is saying, here, is that her guy's female friend doesn't want to be just platonic with him.
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