hardup Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Today I'm just a big bag of blaa! I'm missing the love of my life and best friend like crazy! Him leavin me shocked me. I knew we were unhappy with things in our life, but never thought they were so bad that he'd want to end it. After 7 years together, and a beautiful son. I decided to be nice as possible about this. I helped him moved all of his things yesterday, he appreciated it and in return took me out for a lunch. Our friendship is still there but it feels awkward, and there is a lot of silence. I get a lot of mixed feelings from him. He texts me all the time, goes out of his way for me, lingers around longer than he needs to. Comes by for silly pointless things. He even sleeps on my couch sometimes when I have to work very early in the morning to make our life sons easier. I find He tries to avoid talking about our breakup. All I ever get out of him is that he didn't want us to end up hating each other. It's better off this way, and that he thought about this a lot. I would want nothing more than for him to give us another chance. We have never broken up before or came remotely close to it the 7 years we've been together. What's your honey opinion of this?
january2011 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 That's a question only he can answer. However, if the reasons why you broke up remain unresolved, it's highly unlikely, in my opinion. Especially because he refuses to talk about the break up. No matter what happens, your son will always tie you together. I think that you need to focus on rebuilding your life and your son's life, regardless of whether you are in a relationship with your ex or not. That means that you if your ex chooses not to remain in a relationship with you, then he doesn't get the benefits of a relationship - that includes constant texting back and forth and sleeping on your couch. He may not be ready to let go just yet, but that doesn't mean that he won't, eventually. You need to be prepared for that and get your ducks in a row, especially with regard to financial provision for your son.
Eddie Edirol Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 When he sees that you dont need him or the relationship, only then might he want to try again, if you are both willing to work on the issues. That means not going out with him, dating other guys, texting or calling him, keeping a noticeable distance.
Gab09 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Hardup, I think what might be happening here is that.. When you're with somebody for such a long time, you tend to develop feelings. Not just necesarily "love".. But like I've always said.. If you miss a puppy after having it for a couple of months, obviously you're going to miss another human being. He might just be helping himself with the break up by still being around you guys, so he won't have to experience what a full break up is like.. The not seing each other and not knowing what the other is doing. He might just be afraid of letting go completetly and wants to do it slowly, little by little. It just seems to me like he doesn't want to be with you but is soothing his own pain by still hanging around.. Don't set your heart on it though, I wouldn't be to surprised if he starts just disappearing eventually once he gets his own life in order. My suggestion, start working on your life and try to keep some space between you guys so that you can start to heal. It hurts, I know, but he is the one who chose not to be with you guys. I wouldn't want you to be hurt afterwards when he meets somebody and just disappears. Best of luck and godbless, from a broken heart to another
g450 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 You have a choice. You can choose to move on and live your life but instead you are wondering about HIS choices. Now ask youself this question: What is wrong with that picture? He made his choice. Now make yours and start to live. And I hope you choose to live without pining for his breadcrumbs or trying to analize your X every time he farts. Just be done with him. THAT should be your choice.
Gab09 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 We know it's tough, but it should all be for the best. Maybe if you give him space, or ask him for space, he will start to miss you guys and rethink his decision. But don't make it easy on himself by letting him hang around while he starts occupying his schedule.
chrisusarmy2005 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 (edited) I do the same thing my girlfriend and I have now been broken up for 6 mos and I still help her out with everything and take care of her when she's sick. Ill run to the store for her if she needs. She broke up with me for the dumbest reason. Is it bad I still help her out, I just feel that its nice to help her and she really likes it. I don't want to say no, we are like the best of friends but its just weird. Maybe I'm too nice. We all hope that it works out in the end because is if a person is there for you thick and thin they are worth it. My ex and I still balance each other out. NC has its positives but also its negatives. I would give her another chance,but thats just me. Edited September 9, 2012 by chrisusarmy2005
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