kyle77 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 So recently I took the advice of some people on LS to lay low and try and get as far away as possible from my ex. I took that advice and it worked for a while. Now, however, I am crazy for this girl.... A few weeks ago we were texting and things kind of ramped up from there. Not a lot but to the point where we were flirting and secretly tweeting about each other. I bumped (yes I had no idea she was going to be there, this was complete coincidence) into her the other day at the mall and we talked for about 15 minutes, and it was a really upbeat and enthusiastic conversation. We were talking as if we were so happy to see each other and be with each other. So obviously I got super excited and happy and I know for a fact she did too, because later that night she was tweeting about how she couldn't believe how sexy I looked etc. etc. However, she is now tweeting about how she met the "most attractive boy ever last night". I need some advice as to how to approach a situation like this...see ultimately yes I do want this girl back, and yes I have changed and yes I do believe if we got back together it would work. But how do I go about getting this girl to want to commit to me? At times I feel like I am just another piece of eye candy to her, even though I was her first love, and we dated for over a year. It is true I could be looking into these tweets too much, but I am just so worried that all this excitement that has been building up between us is going to go to waste if something doesn't happen between us to further escalate the situation soon. I know for a fact that she is into me, but I feel like the past is just holding her back from really committing. Which is understandable, I would be worried too if I wasn't so sure that this girl can make me as happy as possible. So what should I do?
kae Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 ok change takes practice.. time and more pratice. you have changed your preception but not ur behaviour so you havent changed, really. Give it more time so you can at least have more credibility that the change is lasting real change.. now about this girl .. improve yourself.. your look .. ur dreams .. your converstion themes.. upgrade .. after this physical and inner transformation has occured .. minimum 6months .. do no contact.. no caring policy.. and talk to her friend.. not to her this will make her curious and she will start looking for you. but keep ur options open ..
Author kyle77 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 Anymore opinions? I'm just not sure what to do....
betterdeal Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Sounds like she's not in the frame of mind to commit, so how about accepting that as it is and deciding if you want to be part of that? Having a squeeze every so often in a non-exclusive arrangement might be fun, might not, depends on how you feel about it. The long and short of it is, the less you try to change someone else, the easier your life will become.
Calico Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Using NC to get someone back is like using a toilet brush to clean your teeth. It sometimes works, but usually just leaves a bad taste and makes you sick. 1
TaraMaiden Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 She's into you, but no longer THAT into you. As far as she's concerned, you're in the really good friend zone. The fact that she can talk to you about other guys and how attractive they are, means she's completely clueless to how you really feel. I mean, she's all buddy-buddy now - so, hey, it figures you must be too, right? THis is not a girl who 'gets' you still have feelings for her. She 'gets' that everything is cool, you're friends now, and you're sexual-partner/intimate history. Getting back together? Nope. That's off the cards. But "What do you think I should say to this guy to get him to notice me? I really like him" is all you'll get from now on. Friendzoned. yup.
Author kyle77 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 Well no I think I worded it wrong...she doesn't talk to me about other people....when we text it's just about us..when she tweets though it's occasionally abou other people....I don't think I'm friend zoned for sure I think I'm just in a situation where she isn't ready to commit and I need to find a way to make her commit...if that's possible.
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