HopelessRomantic76 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Ive always tried to see if attraction could build from a average or blah looking guy after time but it just doesnt work that way i need that intense physical attraction/animal lust as soon as i lay eyes on him for me to give a guy a chance If i am not thinking god id love to put my hands all over him and bleep him at initial thought it will fail for me Ive felt guilty in the past because i met some great sweet men who would have treated me great but the thought of making out with them even made me almost vomit Going after hot guys in the past has kinda of burned me because the physicla attraction is so high sometimes that i overlooked other faults an obvious red flags because i wanted them so badly I think i tried for the more safe average Joe short balding blah looking guys as self preservation because i felt they wouldnt hurt me like the hot guys would but its a chance i have to take if i want a conenction WITH animal lust:love:
KatZee Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Of course you can't force attraction. It's either there, or it's not. That's not to say that the person you're attracted to needs to be a supermodel or some stud, people are attracted to very different things, but you NEED to be attracted to something. Even if it's just a few things and not the WHOLE package. There has to be some level of attraction when you start dating, because as you go on in a relationship with them, attraction can grow. However if there is none to even start with... well then, forget it. And this isn't superficial thinking, this is just how it is. Attraction is nothing more than a basic biological feeling for another human being that you can produce offspring with them. It weeds out sexual partners. I learned this in the past when I dated a guy for TWO YEARS despite the fact I wasn't attracted to him in the least. I thought I'd give him a try after being played by all the "good looking bad boys" and he was nice enough, and he was good to me. But I had ZERO attraction. There was no spark, no romantic connection... he just was. And I thought that if we dated longer I'd eventually see it in him... so 6 months passed... then a year. By that point I felt guilty for dumping him for no other reason besides me not having any sexual attraction. So a year and a half came and went... two years... by that point, we weren't even having sex. I didn't want to kiss him or even hold his hand. He was a brother figure, a roommate. Not a romantic partner. I finally knew I had to end it when I started having panic attacks, and grinding my teeth in my sleep. He was pressing to move into a new place together, for engagement... and I was horrified at this prospect and I knew if I didn't end it then and there, I'd wind up saying "No" when he presented me with a ring.
ThaWholigan Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Those average guys were probably doing it wrong. Not their fault mind, but still...
Author HopelessRomantic76 Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 Those average guys were probably doing it wrong. Not their fault mind, but still... Thats the thing theyres nothing they could "do" they did and said all the right things it just didnt turn me on.I would be more attracted to their friends who i wasnt even compatible with or didnt care for much as human beings but they made me want to rip their clothes off by looking at them I think we as people even i am guilty in the past try of trying underestimate looks but lust is a huge part of relationships.You can make a connection with tons of people but few that you are also insanely physically attracted to 4
KatZee Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Thats the thing theyres nothing they could "do" they did and said all the right things it just didnt turn me on.I would be more attracted to their friends who i wasnt even compatible with or didnt care for much as human beings but they made me want to rip their clothes off by looking at them I think we as people even i am guilty in the past try of trying underestimate looks but lust is a huge part of relationships.You can make a connection with tons of people but few that you are also insanely physically attracted to Yep. Definitely. I would go hang out with him and his friends, and I'd actually be disgusted sitting there. Thinking to myself, "YOU'RE my boyfriend? Really?" And feeling attraction to other guys there. It's horrible b/c he did nothing wrong, but the lack of attraction coupled with his hygiene and certain things he did, ugh, I was so grossed out but felt too guilty to end it on something so shallow. Never again will I date someone I feel no attraction for. Lesson learned! I actually went on two dates with this kid recently, 2nd date he tried to kiss me. Nothing. He hasn't heard from me since. I can't even play that game anymore. 1
AD1980 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Which is why i dont approach women..As an unattractive guy if one girl says yes chances are its in spite of my looks and because of my personality and later on the spark willl eventually fade because shes not overly attracted to me..
ThaWholigan Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Thats the thing theyres nothing they could "do" they did and said all the right things it just didnt turn me on.I would be more attracted to their friends who i wasnt even compatible with or didnt care for much as human beings but they made me want to rip their clothes off by looking at them I think we as people even i am guilty in the past try of trying underestimate looks but lust is a huge part of relationships.You can make a connection with tons of people but few that you are also insanely physically attracted to If they didn't turn you on, they definitely weren't saying or doing the right things. Average guys can also accentuate better parts of their physical appearance, have sexier body language/movement/expression etc. Obviously, some base level of minimal attraction or at the very least intrigue is needed - but guys who can build on it usually are the attractive ones, no matter how "average" they are. It's just a shame so few know how to do it, especially in these times when a lot of guys are alleging that so few men are getting all the women (which I don't completely believe).
kyle77 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I totally understand what you mean! I am a guy, and for me it doesn't matter who the girl is if its not intense physical attraction I immediately consider her undateable. Although I would still hook up with her. That might just be the guy in me. I have also noticed, maybe because I am only 19 years old, that what I personally find attractive is totally based on my first love. The first girl I ever loved basically shaped what I find to be attractive to this day. Things I never even considered to be attractive before, are now major turn-ons.
KatZee Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 If they didn't turn you on, they definitely weren't saying or doing the right things. Average guys can also accentuate better parts of their physical appearance, have sexier body language/movement/expression etc. Obviously, some base level of minimal attraction or at the very least intrigue is needed - but guys who can build on it usually are the attractive ones, no matter how "average" they are. It's just a shame so few know how to do it, especially in these times when a lot of guys are alleging that so few men are getting all the women (which I don't completely believe). Well this is my point about how the guy doesn't have to be a supermodel. The greatest love of my life wasn't your textbook stud. He was fairly average. Tall, lanky... but I just had an attraction to something about him...and when we started dating and I fell for him, he was the cutest guy ever... to me. BUT you need to feel slight attraction in the beginning. Of course an average guy can play it up if the girl is attracted at some level, but NO attraction is the killer. 1
runner Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 and the moral of the story here is: just say no to pity dating. so much more better things to do with one's time. /have a nice day 1
Necromancer Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 If they didn't turn you on, they definitely weren't saying or doing the right things. Average guys can also accentuate better parts of their physical appearance, have sexier body language/movement/expression etc. Obviously, some base level of minimal attraction or at the very least intrigue is needed - but guys who can build on it usually are the attractive ones, no matter how "average" they are. It's just a shame so few know how to do it, especially in these times when a lot of guys are alleging that so few men are getting all the women (which I don't completely believe). The attractive ones don´t need personality. A average guy will have to be 2x as confident/funny as a 7/8 looking guy if he wants to beat him. So if the better looking guy isn´t mentaly retarded and can at least make one joke you are over. I have seen this thousand times. Have in mind that extremely confident men are very rare, many of them ain´t even that good looking guys.
Necromancer Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Thats the thing theyres nothing they could "do" they did and said all the right things it just didnt turn me on.I would be more attracted to their friends who i wasnt even compatible with or didnt care for much as human beings but they made me want to rip their clothes off by looking at them I think we as people even i am guilty in the past try of trying underestimate looks but lust is a huge part of relationships.You can make a connection with tons of people but few that you are also insanely physically attracted to Exactly!, people are shallow (Men and Women). But i have once meet a gal who i thought was average at best(looking) made me want to rip off her cloths, because she was EXACTLY my type!. (personality wise).
Author HopelessRomantic76 Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 If they didn't turn you on, they definitely weren't saying or doing the right things. Average guys can also accentuate better parts of their physical appearance, have sexier body language/movement/expression etc. Obviously, some base level of minimal attraction or at the very least intrigue is needed - but guys who can build on it usually are the attractive ones, no matter how "average" they are. It's just a shame so few know how to do it, especially in these times when a lot of guys are alleging that so few men are getting all the women (which I don't completely believe). They didnt turn me on because i felt no attraction to them physically at all,the thought of being naked with them would make me naseous nothing they can say could seduce me
ThaWholigan Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 They didnt turn me on because i felt no attraction to them physically at all,the thought of being naked with them would make me naseous nothing they can say could seduce me Well they weren't average then were they? They were ugly to you. They may be average to somebody else. Which begs the question: Why would you date a man who you have absolutely no physical attraction to? You're better off finding some medium if possible.
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