69ways Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I was with this girl for 5 years. We planned a wedding until one morning she said is over , January 2011 Never gave a true reason. I tied to get her back for a year, chased her , flown to her country with flowers on her bd , asked he to go to europe for a weekend but nothing. She said we have no future and forget me she said. Admitted she slept with other people. Now its been 6 months NC so i found myself a new gf. Ex finds out and calls me, goes crazy and almost cries and says I did not wait for her, I am all happy and its so easy for me and I said she was the one and I lied etc. Said she never wants to see me again and wishes me all the best. I asked her why she jealous? Do you have feelings for me? She laughed saying no. So I said I dont understand you, you dont care for me , you say I should go on with life, I do so and you have issues. I asked if she is happier without me. Said no. Anw lots of drama and her complaining I got a new gf. Any opinions?
geegirl Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Selfish and a high degree of entitlement. No need to decipher drama. Keep moving forward. And why are you taking her calls and pondering on her? Keep focus on new girlfriend. You should have thrown out the garbage already.
TaraMaiden Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Yeah. What ^^he^^ said. I'm astonished you even really need to ask....
Author 69ways Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 Yeah. What ^^he^^ said. I'm astonished you even really need to ask.... Just wondering to see different opinions:)
geegirl Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Just wondering to see different opinions:) You shouldn't need or want opinions. You already know the answer. 1
TaraMaiden Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I was with this girl for 5 years. We planned a wedding until one morning she said is over , January 2011 Never gave a true reason. ..... i found myself a new gf. Ex finds out and calls me, ..... Any opinions? Yup. That's the point you should have just hung up. But no. You actually prolonged the drama, and now you're full of questions. She has no rights, in your life, at all. NONE. She dumped you - that's abdication. She's history, and a nobody. Period. Truly - leave it at that.
Author 69ways Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 Yup. That's the point you should have just hung up. But no. You actually prolonged the drama, and now you're full of questions. She has no rights, in your life, at all. NONE. She dumped you - that's abdication. She's history, and a nobody. Period. Truly - leave it at that. ok , just amazing how much ego can a person have
head/heels Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 69ways, Ill take the bait here and humor you with a response. Like all the above posters said, you know the right answer here. You know that she is crazy, has the I dont want you but I dont want you to be with anyone else disorder. I know because I am currently with this disorder (I broke up with her and now I dont want to think about her with anyone else...I think that is somewhat normal early on...but not 1 yr later and not when she told you flat out that she didnt want you). I think you are confused because she said she wasnt happen since then. This does not mean she was happy with you or she wants you back. It means that she is not happy (for whatever reason). That is a "you" problem (meaning her) and she has to deal with that, not you. You are not the keeper of her happiness and she has no role in your life and you no role in hers. Keep your eye on your life now and dont look back!
Author 69ways Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 69ways, Ill take the bait here and humor you with a response. Like all the above posters said, you know the right answer here. You know that she is crazy, has the I dont want you but I dont want you to be with anyone else disorder. I know because I am currently with this disorder (I broke up with her and now I dont want to think about her with anyone else...I think that is somewhat normal early on...but not 1 yr later and not when she told you flat out that she didnt want you). I think you are confused because she said she wasnt happen since then. This does not mean she was happy with you or she wants you back. It means that she is not happy (for whatever reason). That is a "you" problem (meaning her) and she has to deal with that, not you. You are not the keeper of her happiness and she has no role in your life and you no role in hers. Keep your eye on your life now and dont look back! I agree with you 100%, she is nuts and she has to deal with her demons. I guess that somewhere along the line , something went wrong with her and she just snapped. She visits a psychologist for depression but common, how delusional can you be when you you tell your ex you been sleeping around and went he goes on with his life and gets a gf , you got a problem with it. She still goes on saying I am the one but I really would be worried to be with her.....
g450 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Just wondering to see different opinions:) All the opinions will be the same because we have the facts you gave us. Clear as day that you need to stop talking to her. Whether you do or not is your business as I have found that half the time this advice is given out it is ignored. If you want to heal and be happy in a new relationship then take our advice to heart. But if you crave drama and are a glutten for punishment then your golden. Your choice really.
Author 69ways Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 All the opinions will be the same because we have the facts you gave us. Clear as day that you need to stop talking to her. Whether you do or not is your business as I have found that half the time this advice is given out it is ignored. If you want to heal and be happy in a new relationship then take our advice to heart. But if you crave drama and are a glutten for punishment then your golden. Your choice really. You should know I am a guy who sticks to his guns as I have no spoken to her since March , despite her efforts to break NC via txt and calls. I am just struggling to understand why I did not see that she was so messed up from before. The facts are as I have told you, I have not been the best bf but I had not done things that were tragic. Never cheated never hit her....... The question in my mind and I want to clear this out, I am not thinking of this to get my hopes up as I know I cant be with her again with this behaviour BUT is she over me or is it ego? It means a lot to me to establish the difference for things that took place after the break up that would clear up if I had an answer.
TaraMaiden Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Second-guessing and wondering what goes on in another person's mind, is really futile, because the answers we get, invariably dredge up more questions. And the answers we get 'today' may actually differ were we to ask the same questions 'tomorrow'. heck, sometimes, even they don't know what their game is. I would guess she's over you, but part of her ego needs to know she still means something to you. It's hard to be the central focus of someone's life, their be-all-and-end-all, their blind devotion - then suddenly find yourself well and truly, universally and completely ignored - Even though YOU dumped them! How dare they?! You didn't see she was so messed up before because - well, hence the saying "love is Blind"... we shutter off the negative, assuming it's reserved for others, not us. Only afterwards do we appreciate that actually, we were the main target. because it was assumed that through Love, we would accept the dysfunction as part of the deal. 2
truth_seeker Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Second-guessing and wondering what goes on in another person's mind, is really futile, because the answers we get, invariably dredge up more questions. And the answers we get 'today' may actually differ were we to ask the same questions 'tomorrow'. heck, sometimes, even they don't know what their game is. I would guess she's over you, but part of her ego needs to know she still means something to you. It's hard to be the central focus of someone's life, their be-all-and-end-all, their blind devotion - then suddenly find yourself well and truly, universally and completely ignored - Even though YOU dumped them! How dare they?! You didn't see she was so messed up before because - well, hence the saying "love is Blind"... we shutter off the negative, assuming it's reserved for others, not us. Only afterwards do we appreciate that actually, we were the main target. because it was assumed that through Love, we would accept the dysfunction as part of the deal. Great post!
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