Woggle Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 If both partners are of legal age why should anybody care who is dating who? I wouldn't be into 19 year olds and I am only 33 but that is their business. I also do notice that it seems that cougars are empowering while this is considered to be creepy. I didn't agree with the double standard the other way and I don't agree with it now.
RedRobin Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 If both partners are of legal age why should anybody care who is dating who? I wouldn't be into 19 year olds and I am only 33 but that is their business. I also do notice that it seems that cougars are empowering while this is considered to be creepy. I didn't agree with the double standard the other way and I don't agree with it now. Last time I checked... anytime a woman was 3+ years older, she was called a 'cougar'. There is no 'name' given for older men (although, I've penned one for men more than 10+ and that is a 'Manther'). I don't see anyone here on LS condoning women chasing men young enough to be their children... and certainly not bragging about it to their similar age sons. Gross.
xxoo Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 There is no 'name' given for older men (although, I've penned one for men more than 10+ and that is a 'Manther'). Manther has been in the Urban Dictionary for almost a decade. Before that, they were just Dirty Old Men, or Cradle Robbers.
Woggle Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Last time I checked... anytime a woman was 3+ years older, she was called a 'cougar'. There is no 'name' given for older men (although, I've penned one for men more than 10+ and that is a 'Manther'). I don't see anyone here on LS condoning women chasing men young enough to be their children... and certainly not bragging about it to their similar age sons. Gross. Yes there is and on other sites I see a ton or you go girl kind of comments directed at women like Madonna and JLo. I don't really care but be consistent about it. We should leave consenting adults alone.
huntingirl2010 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 I am 20 and my boyfriend will be 27. I honestly would go older if I was single again. I believe that age does not make a difference if you really love each other. My dad dated a lady 20 years younger than him. Yet I dated a guy in high school not even 2 years younger than me (I was almost 18 and he was almost 16) and my dad called me a chimo.... -.- parents can be rough...
college_girl20 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Hmmm...I'd have a problem dating a guy in his 50's. But, my boyfriend is 28 (9 years older than me) and it's not a problem. I'd say it all depends on the person not really the age. I should probably add I've never dated anyone my own age. My first boyfriend was four years older than me...I was 14 and he was 18
mesmerized Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 I would much prefer to connect with a woman of my own age (in my 40's), but there is a very real and very strong sense of desperation in these women. Too many have been lied to by their families and cultures and hold bad assumptions about men and relationships. Very sad. The more radical elements of the feminist movement has done this particular type damage and that is on them. Women should be pissed about this. Forgive the longish response (I type pretty quickly so it doesn't feel long until I read it), but your discomfort with people of other colors or races or who don't dress like you, or look like you, or date like you, does not make them bad or creepy. Oh please. Feminism hasn't done anything to these women, men like you have. If they are bitter and pessimist, its not because of some movement but their own experiences with men through their lives. 4
Author pink_sugar Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 Once a man or woman reaches the age of consent, they are able to consent. I am not an advocate for old men chasing around young girls. And sure, this guys sounds like a crude jerk. But men in their 50's dating women in their 20's is NEVER criticized when the woman does the chasing and the older man is rich. My dad likes to say this and I told him straight up I think it's gross either way...rich or poor. It doesn't matter. I would never marry an 80 year old man even if he was a billionare. It doesn't mean you will be happy and money isn't everything. Another thing is he constantly told my brother and I that his ex wife's daughter was "our sister" and referred to her as "your mother". My brother and I are in our early and late twenties and he's stuck on finding us a mother figure. He would be all offended when my brother would insist his exW daughter was not our sister. His exW was only 7 years older than me, 3 years older than my brother. I looked to her as a friend, but certainly not a mother figure. He met her when I was 17. I didn't need another mother figure. I thought she was a nice person....but no way in hell was I calling her my mom or even referring to her as a step-mom. She's old enough to be my sister. 1
heather_1 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Sometimes a realyl large age gap can cause problems! take a look at this article with lots of advice on dating with an age difference... Dating With An Age Difference - Dating Advice Centre 2
RedRobin Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Manther has been in the Urban Dictionary for almost a decade. Before that, they were just Dirty Old Men, or Cradle Robbers. It wasn't my intention to leave the impression that *I* invented the phrase... I just use it here on LS. I've never seen anyone else use it here.
Hawaii50 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Happy Birthday! Have Thawholigan do your natal chart and tell you what type of woman would be best for you. You should expand your age range to at least 33. Older than that and women might find you too young. It doesn't matter.. I'm not On/Off the market, I'm not even in the market. : /
angie2443 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Forgive the longish response (I type pretty quickly so it doesn't feel long until I read it), but your discomfort with people of other colors or races or who don't dress like you, or look like you, or date like you, does not make them bad or creepy. Where are you getting this crap from??? I said nothing about race, clothes or looks. I only commented on age. Is your mind so warped that you truely feel feminism has anything to do with this? Are your arguements so weak that you have write blatent lies about what another sais in their posts? Where do people like you come from, anyways? 3
angie2443 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 Last time I checked... anytime a woman was 3+ years older, she was called a 'cougar'. There is no 'name' given for older men (although, I've penned one for men more than 10+ and that is a 'Manther'). I don't see anyone here on LS condoning women chasing men young enough to be their children... and certainly not bragging about it to their similar age sons. Gross. This is what I see also. I know of no women who are dating men way younger than them. I, and most women I know, would think something is very off if we saw a 19 year old man with a 33 year old woman. Same thing with a 33 year old man dating a 19 year old woman. Yes, it's legal, but it just doesn't feel right. Most people I've known are confortable with a 5 and under age differance. 1
Woggle Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 This is what I see also. I know of no women who are dating men way younger than them. I, and most women I know, would think something is very off if we saw a 19 year old man with a 33 year old woman. Same thing with a 33 year old man dating a 19 year old woman. Yes, it's legal, but it just doesn't feel right. Most people I've known are confortable with a 5 and under age differance. I don't know where you are but cougars are very common these days. I don't have an issue with it because it both consenting adults but don't be hypocritical about it. 2
The Way I Am Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 But men in their 50's dating women in their 20's is NEVER criticized when the woman does the chasing and the older man is rich. This is an insane double standard and I am not giving it one more ounce of energy. Never? I think you mean "usually" or "often". Claiming that young women who go after older rich men are never criticized is silly. Society doesn't look very highly on those women, and even if the woman did actually have feelings for the guy, she'd still be called a gold-digger or worse. And the guys are considered at best duped and worst pervy old dudes who were duped.
The Way I Am Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 (edited) I don't know where you are but cougars are very common these days. I don't have an issue with it because it both consenting adults but don't be hypocritical about it. I agree with your point that women date younger as well, but I don't like the assumption that the woman is a "cougar". That word implies that a woman has a preference for and "preys on" younger men. My boyfriend is 10 years younger, not because I go after younger guys, but because I found a guy I'm compatible with who happens to be younger even though I usually date guys 5-10 years older. If somebody dates people of any age because they don't have a strict rule that excludes certain (legal) ages, I don't see anything wrong with that. If a man or woman routinely seeks out much younger people, I think they may have issues. Edited September 10, 2012 by The Way I Am clarification
angie2443 Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 I don't know where you are but cougars are very common these days. I don't have an issue with it because it both consenting adults but don't be hypocritical about it. How do you define "cougar"? I think of a cougar as a much older women (10 years and up) chasing younger guys. I'm not talking about teenage guys. I have other names for that. I don't think of a 40 year woman who is dating a 30 year old man a cougar. Actually, I think of cougars as large cats. I'm annoyed at it's use for this, but that's another story. 1
Woggle Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I just use the word cougar because I honestly can't think of a better one. My point stands that women who date much younger men are considered empowered while men who do it are considered perverts. Yes I realize the double standard used to go the other way and that was stupid as well. I just feel that consenting adults should be able to do what they want. If a person is under legal age that is completely different.
strongnrelaxed Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 lol what does your dad have in common with 23 yr old girls? Who says you have to have a lot in common? What does an Asian woman have in common with her African American boyfriend? These are the outdated assumptions about relationships that make real honest conversations essentially impossible. If one has to spell it out for you - in terms of what men and women have in common at any age - then I fear for you and your children.
strongnrelaxed Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Where are you getting this crap from??? I said nothing about race, clothes or looks. I only commented on age. Is your mind so warped that you truely feel feminism has anything to do with this? Are your arguements so weak that you have write blatent lies about what another sais in their posts? Where do people like you come from, anyways? I see it the same. People who don't think like you are demonized. I don't expect you to admit this. This is the way it goes. Just like people who say they aren't racist and then regularly rip into fat girl jokes. It is just another form of bigotry. And I am here to call you on it. Of course you are going to play the whole "Oh my God, how could you say that. I am shocked" BS routine. That is exactly how people like you respond. Too many people back off for fear of offending you - when it is YOU who are the offender! My comments are not for you to read. I am responding to your subtle bigotry because I want other young men to read my responses. I am trying to teach others how to spot these very subtle forms of manipulation. Who are YOU to tell other adults who they should see? The arrogance is staggering. Interestingly, I get accused of being arrogant for pointing it out! Men - pay attention. This is what you are up against. Read for yourself. Do you see it? BTW Angie, I do not believe that you are a bad person. I bet you are a good person in fact. I just know for a fact that you have been indoctrinated into a belief system that is extremely judgmental. It is child-like and toxic and very good people better than you and me have suffered horribly at the hands of such behaviors. You do not see this in yourself because you think it comes from a good place. But pointing at others and basically trying to bully them into your view is despicable to me.
strongnrelaxed Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Never? I think you mean "usually" or "often". Claiming that young women who go after older rich men are never criticized is silly. Society doesn't look very highly on those women, and even if the woman did actually have feelings for the guy, she'd still be called a gold-digger or worse. And the guys are considered at best duped and worst pervy old dudes who were duped. Ok. I will concede that I was a bit strident in saying "Never". There is nothing one can say that is Never or Always true. But come on, let's be real. The history of mankind is all about men in power trying to gain access to beautiful younger women with whom to procreate. I mean come on. Are you serious? Can you really deny this with a straight face? Just because older women do not like this and gripe about it to each other is not the same as it being widely considered bad. Young women specifically go after men of higher status....and... Wait - What the hell am I doing!!!! I feel like I am giving the most basic birds and bees lecture to a bunch of stubborn adults. I am not going to spell it out for you. If you do not get this, then I wish you well. But I am not going to stand by idly and let young men read this drivel without answering it. They need to learn to stand up to this sort of playground bigotry and bullying. Girls you have had your time.. It was short but good. Times are changing drastically. Enjoy it while you can. Men - If you feel that things seem strange, bad or difficult in terms of relationships think about how we got here. Read the female responses to my posts. Read my posts. Think about how this sits with your logical side. If I am wrong in some areas, discount my opinion. But watch very carefully for the little digs. The little ways that they slip in insults into the conversation and how the other women gang up with them. This is a "sisterhood" mentality where they gang up with each other regardless of the logic of their statements or reasonableness of their position. And other men sit by for fear of becoming the object of scorn. I have no such fear and revel in outing this BS ever chance I get. Join me.
RedRobin Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Yes... men, please do pay attention... Days are over when guys can take it for granted that they can pretty much do whatever they want with their d*cks... And when they do the slash and burn on every woman in their path... That there is a fresh supply of the ever younger to start over with. ... then claim they have a 'right' to such. This thread is about a 'man' who (perhaps unfortunately) fathered children... when he doesn't seem to grasp the concept of responsible fatherhood AT ALL. You don't raise daughters so you can hit on their friends. What an *sshole.
Woggle Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 As long as everybody is of legal age and willing people can do whatever they want. Who is going to stop them?
The Way I Am Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Ok. I will concede that I was a bit strident in saying "Never". There is nothing one can say that is Never or Always true. But come on, let's be real. The history of mankind is all about men in power trying to gain access to beautiful younger women with whom to procreate. I mean come on. Are you serious? Can you really deny this with a straight face? Just because older women do not like this and gripe about it to each other is not the same as it being widely considered bad. Young women specifically go after men of higher status....and... Wait - What the hell am I doing!!!! I feel like I am giving the most basic birds and bees lecture to a bunch of stubborn adults. I am not going to spell it out for you. If you do not get this, then I wish you well. But I am not going to stand by idly and let young men read this drivel without answering it. They need to learn to stand up to this sort of playground bigotry and bullying. Girls you have had your time.. It was short but good. Times are changing drastically. Enjoy it while you can. Men - If you feel that things seem strange, bad or difficult in terms of relationships think about how we got here. Read the female responses to my posts. Read my posts. Think about how this sits with your logical side. If I am wrong in some areas, discount my opinion. But watch very carefully for the little digs. The little ways that they slip in insults into the conversation and how the other women gang up with them. This is a "sisterhood" mentality where they gang up with each other regardless of the logic of their statements or reasonableness of their position. And other men sit by for fear of becoming the object of scorn. I have no such fear and revel in outing this BS ever chance I get. Join me. I'm really not sure what your overall point is now or what point you were originally trying to make. I was merely refuting a single absurd, illogical claim regardless of your point. I'm getting the impression you like to approach dating as a set of stereotypes, but other than that, I'm not sure what you're on about.
The Way I Am Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I just use the word cougar because I honestly can't think of a better one. My point stands that women who date much younger men are considered empowered while men who do it are considered perverts. Yes I realize the double standard used to go the other way and that was stupid as well. I just feel that consenting adults should be able to do what they want. If a person is under legal age that is completely different. See, I disagree. I don't think the term cougar is empowering. I think it's insulting to imply someone is a predator. "Cougars" seem to be mocked much more than admired. Younger people in my area like to go to cougar bars just to watch -- not because they want to admire empowered women but because they want to laugh at the spectacle. I certainly don't find it flattering when my friends jokingly call me a cougar. I agree with you that in the past, menu used to be viewed highly for dating young women, but it's more looked down upon now. Women going after young men are more accepted now than in comparison to how they would have been in the past, but comparing the current view of men and women who seek much younger partners, it's fairly equal now.
Recommended Posts