Author strongnrelaxed Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 Yeah my current wife's XH does that. Total loser scumbag. He is now 1 year behind on child support and has paid absolutely nothing to her yet. He only had to pay 20% of his wages and that doesnt even pay for his kids groceries. And mind you his kid eats a lot. He eats MY food. His dad jumps from job to job and works for money under the table to avoid taxes etc. He wont even tell his own mother where he lives or works. Sooner or later though he will do something stupid (he always does) and the law will catch up to him. Cant wait for that day. The SOB could not even give his kid a birthday or Christmas gift. I did that for my W out of the goodness of my heart. I used to think that men who did this were pure evil asses. Why would a man walk out on his family? Over and over and over I would hear about "deadbeat dads" and how destructive they were to society. How much harm they did to children and families. And then along came the internet. Then the men's side of the narrative came to light...and what an eye-opener. Walking out on a family is definitely wrong. Cheating is wrong. Physical abuse is wrong. AND - making life a nagging miserable hell for your partner is wrong. Lying profusely about everything is wrong. Emotional abuse is wrong. When one enters into a partnership and one partner stops listening (or never did to begin with) then the partnership is no longer one. It is something else (apply your own name- codependency?) Forgive the mini rant here, but these stories only support the idea that all men are bad losers who walk out on their families. Then when one drills down to the details, and the fact emerge, it can reveal a completely different picture and often does. If the courts take ALL of my money. What am I to do? Think hard about that. Imagine this happening to you. One year ago I was working through some difficult issues in what was otherwise a good marriage. I did not believe all of these things about the "poor men" (boo freaking hoo). Here I am eating a huge piece of humble pie. I have wept inside for my callous treatment of other men in my shoes. I drank the Kool Aid and here I am. Maybe there is such a thing as Karma after all.
TaraMaiden Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Karma means "Volitional Action" not 'revenge' or come-uppance'. 1
Author strongnrelaxed Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 Karma means "Volitional Action" not 'revenge' or come-uppance'. You taught me something. Thanks. I always hear it used in the latter sense.
TaraMaiden Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 You're lucky I kept it to one line. normally I go off on a bender!!
Author strongnrelaxed Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 You're lucky I kept it to one line. normally I go off on a bender!! LOL. I know, I have seen that side of you. Me too. I can't deny it.
hotgurl Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 I used to think that men who did this were pure evil asses. Why would a man walk out on his family? Over and over and over I would hear about "deadbeat dads" and how destructive they were to society. How much harm they did to children and families. And then along came the internet. Then the men's side of the narrative came to light...and what an eye-opener. Walking out on a family is definitely wrong. Cheating is wrong. Physical abuse is wrong. AND - making life a nagging miserable hell for your partner is wrong. Lying profusely about everything is wrong. Emotional abuse is wrong. When one enters into a partnership and one partner stops listening (or never did to begin with) then the partnership is no longer one. It is something else (apply your own name- codependency?) Forgive the mini rant here, but these stories only support the idea that all men are bad losers who walk out on their families. Then when one drills down to the details, and the fact emerge, it can reveal a completely different picture and often does. If the courts take ALL of my money. What am I to do? Think hard about that. Imagine this happening to you. One year ago I was working through some difficult issues in what was otherwise a good marriage. I did not believe all of these things about the "poor men" (boo freaking hoo). Here I am eating a huge piece of humble pie. I have wept inside for my callous treatment of other men in my shoes. I drank the Kool Aid and here I am. Maybe there is such a thing as Karma after all. Men are loser who walk out on their family. Regardless of child support issues and marriage issues you are still the kids dad. At least have a relationship with them. My ex walked out owes over 30 grand and we never saw him again. He is a loser. Now it sucks if 100% if really what they are talking but earlier you said they are taking 33% of your income so I don't under stand the leap between 33% & 100% perhaps I am missing something.
g450 Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 All of this could've been avoided if your wife hadn't had a total loser impregnate her. Well she wasnt my wife when she met him. Hell I was still married to my first wife. But yeah, she knows that. She had to go through three losers to find the a good guy. Cant for the life figure out why some of these women are attracted to scumbags. At least she wised up in her later life. She knows Im good for her and she makes me very happy.
mizzat Posted September 12, 2012 Posted September 12, 2012 Men who don't protect their bodies and their rights by wearing a condom are down right stupid. If I were a man this would never, ever happen to me. I would make sure of it. this is not always true me and my wife had a son she was on bc i was using condoms but it broke and yea 3 days after our marriage and within the next month she was pregnant so not all birth comes from planned pregnancy just saying
threebyfate Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Can I ask why you wear in arrears ? Of course every state is different but in my state I don't think those arrears payments cannot affect your ability to provide a roof over your own head.. If NY is anything like my state you should be able to get a court to modify the repayment agreement to something manageable. The answer to your question of why would you continue to work.. if nothing else to put food in your own children's mouths and well as put a roof over their head. It sounds like to me that you need to roll the divorce forward at this point if you can.. make those temporary issues regarding paying more than your share go away.Even in arrears, there's a Federal limit which resides somewhere between 50 - 60% of disposable income, depending on whether the OP is currently supporting another spouse and child. Something's not right in Kansas.
carhill Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 A personal anecdote from a California withholder..... Employee withholding for child support ordered to be ~47% of net wages. Five year employee in good standing and valued by company quits to go work underground economy in Alabama. Employer's hands are tied; it is forced to withhold according to state guidelines/court orders.
Yasuandio Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 You're lucky I kept it to one line. normally I go off on a bender!! Wish you would. It is a difficult concept to re-learn properly. Especially how and why it's has been transformed to current misinterpretation. The historical reaseach is overwhelming. Yas
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