strongnrelaxed Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I just received a court order that requires my employer to garnish my wages for nearly 100% of my income. That's right, you read that right- nearly 100%. On top of all of that, they are garnishing my wages. In other words, my payroll department by law is required to take that money before I can even see it! And I was never even a deadbeat dad! We aren't even divorced yet. My lawyer is appealing this. Clearly, you may be thinking, this must be some mistake. It is not. It is called THE LAW. I was warned by older men when I was younger to NOT GET MARRIED. But I was cocky and didn't listen. I thought that a woman would NEVER do the stuff my wife did to me. I have a rather long and disturbing list but that is for another thread. Does anyone else have a horror story to share like this?
melodymatters Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 It's not the "married" part you screwed up on, it's the precious, every baby is baby jesus, kids part. My first H was FIFTEEN when a 29 yr old became his first lover. She would check him out of school as his mom, they'd get a hotel and smoke weed and drink. She got pregnant, moved far away, sued for child support and GOT IT ! I don't know if there was no statutory rape for boys back in the 80's in CA ( he was 16 at the time of birth), or if the childs needs trumps all, but by the time we married when he was 28, he was tens of thousands in debt, and did it matter when WE had OUR kid ? Hell no, they took his drivers license making it that much harder to support the family he chose to have as an adult. Another BF, she was a lesbian who wanted to "try" dating guys. ( he was 19 she was 24) they dated for a month and when she got pregnant, WHOOPS, gay again, moved back in with her GF, and of course ex BF got the pleasure of supporting their kid. I know too many stories where the guy was basically used for sperm and dumped, while still being saddled with 21 yrs worth of "We can garish your wages, take your licenses, and put you in jail" payments. If a guy leaves his family, hell YES he should pay child support. If the woman just dumps him for another guy or gal or because she's bored with him, then there should be a sign off clause. I know everyone will now jump on the "But it's for the Children" bandwagon. I know it's not the kids fault, but if I were a guy in one of these situations I honestly think I'd shoot myself before being the b*tch who used me and threw me aways wage slave ! 4
zx14 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 100%??? what state are you in?? I'm in NY and 2 kids and its in the 25% range (of gross). That percentage seems a little weird...are there arrears or something involved?
Author strongnrelaxed Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 Wow! You said it better than I could have. You are right- the laws are written in such a way that it is devastating to families and children. I do not believe that this is by accident, but I will refrain from chiming in on that. Most intelligent people know what I am talking about and some of us are working on this. We haven't even taken into account all those men who are raising the children of other men (15% of all American men are cuckolds last time I heard). So, again, my advice to all men is to never get married. Until the laws change to reflect a more reasonable and nuanced view, it is a huge life altering mistake to enter into such an egregiously bad legal arrangement.
amaysngrace Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Yea that's what I want to know too...where do you live?
stillafool Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Men who don't protect their bodies and their rights by wearing a condom are down right stupid. If I were a man this would never, ever happen to me. I would make sure of it. 4
TaraMaiden Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 So, again, my advice to all men is to never get married. Until the laws change to reflect a more reasonable and nuanced view, it is a huge life altering mistake to enter into such an egregiously bad legal arrangement. if you make a baby with a woman and she has a court order for support - what difference does it make whether you're married to her or not? Could she still have done this even without a ring on your finger? 3
Woggle Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Men who don't protect their bodies and their rights by wearing a condom are down right stupid. If I were a man this would never, ever happen to me. I would make sure of it. This is true but men who have families with women are under the mercy of a family court that does not feel they should have any rights. It's sad that be simply having a family a man these days is playing russian roulette with his life.
sally4sara Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Stupid is as stupid does. You don't need to be all that smart to know marriage didn't do this to you. I don't even think this is a real situation possibility. I just looked at a child support calculator where in the mother in unemployed and the father works for a fairly average salary. I even adjusted it around to see how much I could get the final payment plumped up (in order to know where the increase might come in) via, sole custody, child care and insurance and the like. Nothing I put in resulted in a 100% of wages earned child support payment situation. The largest percentage I could get it up to was 65% and that was if the non custodial parent never cared for the child in their own home or bought food or paid for insurance and/or daycare and the custodial parent didn't work, but did go to school and needed full daytime child care and monthly insurance coverage.
sally4sara Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Maybe he has 12 kids.... Calculator only goes up to 6 children so what the OP should be warning men about is making sure when having 12 children that they are all from 6 total births and conjoined at the mouth.
Art_Critic Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 We aren't even divorced yet. So was there a separation agreement ? were you in compliance with it ? I saw from another thread that you have one child, is this wage garnishment for child support only or is it for the support of the household while the divorce is going on ? You said you weren't a deadbeat dad.. were you late in any of the payments that you agreed to pay besides child support ? Did you not go to the child support hearing.. normally the judge wants both parties to be present before setting such a thing...
wow04 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Where are you? I have never heard of alomst 100% of your pay. My ex and I have 3 kids and they can't take more than 50% of his pay. How many kids are involved? Something doesn't seem right.
hotgurl Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 It's not the "married" part you screwed up on, it's the precious, every baby is baby jesus, kids part. My first H was FIFTEEN when a 29 yr old became his first lover. She would check him out of school as his mom, they'd get a hotel and smoke weed and drink. She got pregnant, moved far away, sued for child support and GOT IT ! I don't know if there was no statutory rape for boys back in the 80's in CA ( he was 16 at the time of birth), or if the childs needs trumps all, but by the time we married when he was 28, he was tens of thousands in debt, and did it matter when WE had OUR kid ? Hell no, they took his drivers license making it that much harder to support the family he chose to have as an adult. Another BF, she was a lesbian who wanted to "try" dating guys. ( he was 19 she was 24) they dated for a month and when she got pregnant, WHOOPS, gay again, moved back in with her GF, and of course ex BF got the pleasure of supporting their kid. I know too many stories where the guy was basically used for sperm and dumped, while still being saddled with 21 yrs worth of "We can garish your wages, take your licenses, and put you in jail" payments. If a guy leaves his family, hell YES he should pay child support. If the woman just dumps him for another guy or gal or because she's bored with him, then there should be a sign off clause. I know everyone will now jump on the "But it's for the Children" bandwagon. I know it's not the kids fault, but if I were a guy in one of these situations I honestly think I'd shoot myself before being the b*tch who used me and threw me aways wage slave ! ok but the flip side is my example. I was with my ex. for 6 years. The relationship went south he threatened everything to get me not to leave. Including walking out. I left he walked out of my daughter. Never to be seen from again. never worked above the board since they garnished his wages. Saying that i was going to use the money frivolously He moves all the time. What he is supposed it pay is all of $60 a week. God that is not even a car payment! and you know how much of my salary goes to supporting my daughter oh about 100%. 2
Lobouspo Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 This seems a bit fishy. I wonder what the circumstances are.
TaraMaiden Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Well, when the OP returns....... hopefully, he can clear it up for us....
Author strongnrelaxed Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 Men who don't protect their bodies and their rights by wearing a condom are down right stupid. If I were a man this would never, ever happen to me. I would make sure of it. I was married to her for 15 years and we have three children! What would you have me do? I am in NY and yes to that other poster, I am paying arrears. But that is not right because she took my house away from me! Long story and I am too steaming mad to even write about it. She is renting it now and gets the rent and pays the bills. She keeps the extra. That was HER proposal and I accepted. We were apart for a few months before the child support hearing and they backdated the payments. It is not 25% by me is it 33% - perhaps because of three children. The challenge of all of this is that if they take ALL of my pay, why would I keep working? Do they realize that this is my career and I will have to stop working? I will have to get a much lower paying job and try to send her what I can. I get it. This is what is intended. I just cannot believe I spent 4 years in the Marine Corp and three College degrees and here i am. Just boggles the mind. 1
Ami1uwant Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I was married to her for 15 years and we have three children! What would you have me do? I am in NY and yes to that other poster, I am paying arrears. But that is not right because she took my house away from me! Long story and I am too steaming mad to even write about it. She is renting it now and gets the rent and pays the bills. She keeps the extra. That was HER proposal and I accepted. We were apart for a few months before the child support hearing and they backdated the payments. It is not 25% by me is it 33% - perhaps because of three children. The challenge of all of this is that if they take ALL of my pay, why would I keep working? Do they realize that this is my career and I will have to stop working? I will have to get a much lower paying job and try to send her what I can. I get it. This is what is intended. I just cannot believe I spent 4 years in the Marine Corp and three College degrees and here i am. Just boggles the mind. NY State is tough on divorce and they screw over the dad. I grew up there ...still have friends there...one went through divorce and got majorly shafted because his ex worked under the table and was able to claim BS that he was a bad dad. He had gotten quite a bit that had to be taken out of his pay...dont recall the pct but it was probably near 60% (child support + alimony) If I were you I would fight tooth and nail for custody of the kids. How did she get your home? Ask your employer to get a leave of absense not making any money at the time of divorce thus lowering what you can pay in child support and alamony. I wonder if you have a piece of cra lawyer.
2sure Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 In NY there is a maximum percentage that can be garnished from wages for child support. I don't know what it is. Im also not sure if the maximum is adhered to if there are additional garnishments attached..like if someone owes for health insurance and daycare in addition to the child support.
carhill Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I had a relevant anecdote to share but will spare it and advise you to look hard at the underground economy if your assertion about 'near 100%' is factual. Obviously, you can't exist in any meaningful way at that level so, where there's a conflict between what is legal and what is right, do what is right. Definitely take care of your children. Cash works fine. Good luck. 1
Art_Critic Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Can I ask why you wear in arrears ? Of course every state is different but in my state I don't think those arrears payments cannot affect your ability to provide a roof over your own head.. If NY is anything like my state you should be able to get a court to modify the repayment agreement to something manageable. The answer to your question of why would you continue to work.. if nothing else to put food in your own children's mouths and well as put a roof over their head. It sounds like to me that you need to roll the divorce forward at this point if you can.. make those temporary issues regarding paying more than your share go away.
amaysngrace Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Get a lawyer and have her buy you out of the house. Don't walk away from your house unless you owe more than its worth. 1
Author strongnrelaxed Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 Thanks for all the replies. I am in arrears because for the first few months she was collecting all of the rent for the house, making the mortgage and other payments and keeping the rest. She INSISTED on this, and I agreed. I have this in writing. When she went to the course to petition for arrears she failed to mention that part of our agreement. My lawyer said he is working on this. We will see. 1
g450 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 ok but the flip side is my example. I was with my ex. for 6 years. The relationship went south he threatened everything to get me not to leave. Including walking out. I left he walked out of my daughter. Never to be seen from again. never worked above the board since they garnished his wages. Saying that i was going to use the money frivolously He moves all the time. What he is supposed it pay is all of $60 a week. God that is not even a car payment! and you know how much of my salary goes to supporting my daughter oh about 100%. Yeah my current wife's XH does that. Total loser scumbag. He is now 1 year behind on child support and has paid absolutely nothing to her yet. He only had to pay 20% of his wages and that doesnt even pay for his kids groceries. And mind you his kid eats a lot. He eats MY food. His dad jumps from job to job and works for money under the table to avoid taxes etc. He wont even tell his own mother where he lives or works. Sooner or later though he will do something stupid (he always does) and the law will catch up to him. Cant wait for that day. The SOB could not even give his kid a birthday or Christmas gift. I did that for my W out of the goodness of my heart.
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