Theonlyone7 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 We started seeing each other and I thought we started to get close...pretty early on we both knew he was moving away soon, but kept seeing each other until he finally left. We both said that it was probably for the best that he was leaving because thats the only way we would have stopped the affair and because our feelings were only going to get stronger. We have not spoken since he left almost 3 months ago...I tried to text him, and he texted back "who is this?" It left me feeling like I meant nothing to him at all...I think about him all of the time and knowing that he obviously never thinks about me is eating at me. I thought he would have kept in contact.
Author Theonlyone7 Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 I already know what we were doing was wrong...so please that's not what I need to hear.
Author Theonlyone7 Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 It actually was...she asked how I knew him and I never sent anything back. Which makes me feel bad about jeopardizing his marriage by texting him...this was a month ago. I'm sure he got heavily questioned about me too. I don't know I guess I thought we had more of a connection than he though we did?
Author Theonlyone7 Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 Sorry guys :/ I didn't explain it in the initial post...my point is that he knows I tried to contact him and he obviously doesn't care about me enough to contact me back. I really wasn't sure who was texting me when that happened. I texted him and I got a "who is this?" then got another text asking me how I knew him. I got afraid and never said anything.
veryhappy Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 He moved away. He didn't contact you, and probably did his best to minimize who you were to the wife. He doesn't want you in his life. Hurtful, but the only thing you can do is let it go. Especially with him having moved away, it's really not worth spending more energy on him. 1
Author Theonlyone7 Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 Thanks guys. I know it's apparent that he does not want me in his life at all. Just feels awful though.
veryhappy Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 It always feels awful to be rejected, and heartbreak feels beyond awful. Just focus on yourself and the fact that trying to hold on to the idea of him, or trying to get a reaction out of him will only lead to more awful. Cut your losses, before you invest more.
whichwayisup Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Thanks guys. I know it's apparent that he does not want me in his life at all. Just feels awful though. He's moved and chosen to focus on his wife. Maybe he doesn't see the point in keeping in touch since the A is over.
Author Theonlyone7 Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 The A ended because he moved, not because either of us actually wanted to stop seeing each other.
whichwayisup Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 The A ended because he moved, not because either of us actually wanted to stop seeing each other. But he's chosen to let go..You are hanging on. It's hurting you and now it's time to really try to get over him, allow yourself to grieve the loss so you can heal. Decide what you want to do..Fix your marriage, reconnect with your husband or end the marriage. Going on as things are now isn't going to get any better unless you make some changes.
Author Theonlyone7 Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 I know and I really want to let go, I just want to stop caring and thinking about him.
yessy21 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Thanks guys. I know it's apparent that he does not want me in his life at all. Just feels awful though. This is something you should have expected to happen. he used you. he is a douche. his wife deserves to know.
Owl Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Your thread title indicates that you were both married. If you're wanting to get over him...focus on rebuilding/repairing/reconciling your marriage. What's wrong with your marriage that you were willing to do this with him? What are you doing to fix that, or end the marriage? Change your focus to that...it's your best bet all the way around.
mitchell Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 He's done with you. Why don't you discuss your feelings with your husband? 1
PixieD Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 As awful as you are feeling right now, time will help. It is painful when an A ends and you are left wondering what is going on with your xAP. You mourn in silence which makes it even harder to heal. Things go around in your thoughts and it is difficult when you feel you can't share them with others. As much as it hurts to do so, stepping back and looking at the bigger picture does help. I'm not judging you just trying to offer perspective. What other outcomes were possible? Did you think the A would go long term? Is that what you really would have wanted? Would you have considered leaving your H for him? He moved away and you couldn't be together any more. Wouldn't staying in contact, dragging out what you can't have, only serve to create more pain? Having NC allows you both to move on. Now you need to spend some time thinking about why you had the A in the first place, do you really still love your H, and are you willing to create what you found in your A with your H. Once you know where you want to go, and set about going there, you will be able to leave the past behind. There will be times when you think of your AP, and have those what if thoughts, but they will become less frequent. The more you focus on moving forward the less you will look back. Take care of yourself and you will heal. Good Luck.
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