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Possibility of running into ex at an event. How should I react?

Tree_Salmon

By Tree_Salmon
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Tree_Salmon Established Member

Tree_Salmon

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I'm going to be at an event that my ex and I frequented and there is a higher than normal chance that I will run into her and her man.

 

Normally my plan is to just be cool and not care, but is this the best approach? In some cases I've even been very polite to new boyfriends in past cases.

 

This seems to surprise the ex's when it happens. In this case, however, i don't really know what the best course of action would be.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

Posted
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I think you should stay at home :laugh:

 

Who cares if she is there..if you see her, nod your head hello and go have fun...

What you don't need to be doing is going up to her and smelling around for something.

oh.. and take a date there...

  • Like 2
january2011 Established Member

january2011

Posted
Posted

If you really want to go:

 

 

  • Polite disinterest
  • Keep it brief
  • No hugs or any kind of touching
  • No going into deep conversations about what you're up to
  • Don't ask her about what she's up to
  • If she introduces you to her new man, just nod, no handshakes
  • Excuse yourself, "well, that's great, must dash, bye"
  • Walk away

 

No one expects you to get friendly with them and talk in depth. She's barely an acquintance now, so social etiquette dictates that all she gets is a "hi" and that's it.

 

Otherwise stay away. Stabbing yourself in the eyes with needles is probably more preferable than being forced to make smalltalk with an ex and their new sidekick. Been there done that.

  • Like 6
barese1 Established Member

barese1

Posted
Posted

I'd just be civil but not overaly friendly. Say hi and then do your own thing. or if you can handle it maybe chat for a while, make small talk. It'll show the ex you couldn't give a f^ck even if you still do, but only if you can handle it!

 

Best of luck

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bluefairy812 Established Member

bluefairy812

Posted
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i would keep it short and brief, and be cool! it always bothers an ex when you act like you are completely not interested! :)

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Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

I agree with the others. Believe me, your Ex is going to be watching you like a hawk. She afraid that you might start a scene. Therefore, you need to put on and Ocsar worthy proformance. Act like you are having the time of your life! Have fun and don't worry about what she's doing. Go have fun. If the crap starts to get thick, you can always excuse yourself. Take a date with you. If you have a sister and she has a really HOT single friend. Just explain the situation and go as nothing more than friends. Although your Ex wouldn't know that! :p

 

okay, feeling a little vindictive here.

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Tree_Salmon Established Member

Tree_Salmon

Posted
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How long since your BU?

 

Well i dumped her over 8 months ago but she tried to get me back until she found a new guy 3 months ago.

 

Then she tried to have sex with me a month ago. So its been a month since I've seen her.

 

 

As far as "talking it cool" I'm very good at this. I was just wondering what my options were.

 

Usually, I don't even have to ask how i should act because i just naturally act however the hell I want. I don't know why I'm over-thinking it this time.

 

She is also very immature and this new guy is like a angry bulldog who is massively threatened by me (by her own admission). So I don't feel like dealing with some dumb as bricks loser.

 

And I refuse to change what i do because of someone else. I'm going to this place.

  • Like 1
RogerWallace111 Established Member

RogerWallace111

Posted
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Yes, act however the hell you please, doesn't sound like youre the type to naturally do anything that would make you seem weak or hung up

venusianx13 Established Member

venusianx13

Posted
Posted

 

Normally my plan is to just be cool and not care, but is this the best approach? In some cases I've even been very polite to new boyfriends in past cases.

QUOTE]

 

I'd say that if your method (above) works well, stick with it. Unless you are expecting some sort of confrontation? I hope not...

spaniard Established Member

spaniard

Posted
Posted
If you really want to go:

 

 

  • Polite disinterest
  • Keep it brief
  • No hugs or any kind of touching
  • No going into deep conversations about what you're up to
  • Don't ask her about what she's up to
  • If she introduces you to her new man, just nod, no handshakes
  • Excuse yourself, "well, that's great, must dash, bye"
  • Walk away

 

etc etc

 

Although I'm not in this situation (hope never will), this is a very wise list. Kudos!

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Tree_Salmon Established Member

Tree_Salmon

Posted
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I went, had fun and didn't see my ex.

 

I did run into a bunch of old mutual friends so she may or may not see that I was there.

 

I'm starting to care less and less about anything that happens at this point. This is a good sign.

 

Nobody can control what you do.

  • Like 1
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Tree_Salmon Established Member

Tree_Salmon

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Strangely enough I attended another event over the weekend where mutual friends were.

 

I found myself going through an unexpected amount of anxiety just being there. When I was leaving I felt much better but it still bothered me.

 

I felt the need to break NC also. I don't even know what my reasoning would be to do so.

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