How do I just move on

[Scirok]

I have another post explaining my break up but I'm just wondering how I move on I miss her so much and early mornings and late nights are just a killer for me she's all I think about and it sucks. Like I wish I could just snap out of this and move on but I can't I've read Alot of story's on here and there just like mine but it makes it so much harder when you think about everything you did with your ex the good times you had the joking around the places you went everything and it rips you apart. I just wish there was something I could do to get her back but who on this forum doesn't. I think about dating in the future and it just makes me more depressed im not a very confident guy to start with and it's hard for me to meet girls but the other problem I Come across is it seems like everygirl around my area is just a complete whore like I scroll down my Facebook and 90% of the girls I can think of some horrible story I know this is just me losing my mind but I just fear there's no good girls out there anymore for my age bracket and becoming a whore doesn't mean anything anymore maybe I'm just too old fashion and I'm sure there are Alot of good girls I just can't see them I just don't know what to Do with myself anymore I really don't I just wish I could get over her it just makes the pain so much worse knowing she doesn't care about me can someone please help me what can I do

[Scirok]

Can someone help me please I'm having a mental break down right now she's so convincing that there's no other man in her life and she didn't leave me for anyone but I know she's mostlikely lieing to me please someone help me I can't stop crying I just wish I knew what to do its so hard for me to move on and I don't know why ((((( someone please give me some support

[gullibleme]

I know your feeling very heartbroken...I can empathize with you. I was told by my ex that dating and other girls were the last thing on his mind after we broke up....ya, a month later he has a "NEW SWEETIE" It hurt really bad.

 

Now after two months I think (not really keeping track) I try really hard to only think of the negative things in our relationship. Pro's and Con's sort of things. Surely you saw alot of things and felt alot of things that you didn't really like about her or the relationship....well keep those thought going. I found when I thought about the good times it hurt too much. In the future when I reach a point of not really caring then I can think back on the good times.

 

I am scared to death of dating again because I don't know if I can fully put myself out there...I don't feel completely happy but am slowly moving on and almost get excited thinking there is someone else out there who values me and all I can give to the relationship....hang in there...it is a living hell I know but it will make you a better person in the end.

[Freshstart637]

I was in the same situation as you and ready to settle down with a girl that I was with for almost 5 years. Been through some breakups and have experience but it was still hard.

 

We even bought a house together earlier this year, so living together and figuring all this out seems impossible.

 

I had to have my uncle sleep over so I can cope up with the bedroom we used to share.

 

Just last night, I though long and hard how my ex can just fall out of love with me. She just left the house without saying anything 2 weeks ago and I was shocked. I felt lost, confused, and abandoned. I almost lost it when I was feeling suicidal. It was bad, then just last night I really started to think about it.

 

She isn't mine anymore, we are to far apart for it to become the way it was. She probably has BPD. I am stable with a great job and everything and she has a kid that she neglects. She's just not right for me. I never loved her during the first 4 years, just a rebound girl from my previous LTR. I don't need her, I felt I cann start being independent again. Good luck to what she had, its her loss and I just stopped caring.

 

 

If you need some help or advice or just someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message for my #.

 

Hang in there buddy. Accept it like I just did. I too want a good girl that fears God. I settled for less with this last one and she wants to be friends still. I won't benefit anything from her because she's naive and incapable of loving. She only tries to please people and when she gets what she wants shes out.

 

What a waste of time, but I did learn from it. I don't care anymore if I will be alone for the rest of my life, but getting out of this crap is way better than the pain i used to feel while in the relationship.

[Scirok]

Ya I been trying to think of the negitives in my relationship too and that's all my friends bring up like I know it's not important things in love but like little

Things like the fact that she had no car she didn't even have a licence until i pushed her to get it. She isn't really going Anywere in life career wise and just little things and I know it's not important but makes me wonder why she would leave me if she was the one benefiting off me I went to college for 3 years have a degree in fire science and my emt and I am a fire fighter I hVe an amazing job that I love and I have Alot of toys and it's just like you would think she would want to be with someone like that for long term but it's like it's the opposite and I'm the one trying to keep her around and I don't know why and my friends and co workers keep asking me why I care so much and I can't explain it I asked my friend to find out what was on her Facebook poor idea I now realize and her status was I want to snug (cuddle) it cut me

Deeper then I can describe it really hurt and just this morning I know I shouldn't have broke NC but I did and she promised me there's no

Other guy I know she's mostlikely lieing to me my ex did the same to me and she was banging a guy the whole time it just hurts so badly to think of

Someone you care about so deeply and love so

Much doing that and enjoying themselves to another person

[Gab09]

Scirok, I can imagine how hard it is man. I'm just trying to heal from a dangerous destructive 4 year relationship, and it literally is hell.

 

We're in different boats though, you have a degree, you have a good job.. You just basically described your ticket to a new life bro, you have the potential to attract a better female. One that will respect you and love you just the way you are.

 

You already have everything set for you buddy, I on the other hand have a lot more hoops to jump through before I'm anywhere near as stable as you.

 

So chin up bud and let the fight begin. Keep it strong and show her how well you are without her and how much of a better man you can be.

[Gab09]

@freshstart..

 

I've been through that similar experience. When I broke up with my girl I stayed in the same place we were living, all the furniture we purchased together, our big screens, our BED SHEETS! Everything, it is a lot harder for somebody to have to stay in the same place and cope with all the memories.

 

I too at first thought about asking somebody to stay with me to cope with the pain, but I was too ashamed. In my family I've always carried the burden of being the tough one, the one everybody pulls for a shoulder to cry on. I remember when my grandmother past away some years ago, I couldn't shed a tear, I was so harden by some life experiences I had that literally, my eyes could not cry. Everybody was telling me that it was bad, and that eventually it would just burst open and spill everything on the ground.

 

Guess what, my ex did that. For the first time in years, my mother saw me crying.. She said it was ok, she was surprised that such a toughed up person could be so vulnerable, but I wasn't ashamed.. It happened once, and I swore no more. I am roughing it up everyday and I know i'll have my ups and downs, but I'll get through it.

 

Scirok, I am not hijacking your post bro, I just want you to read some of my story so that you can start to see that there is hope and you can get through this.

 

Many thanks for sharing your feelings here, it helps not only you, but a lot of us out here.

[Scirok]

It's ok we are all here for the same reason. That's to feel better about being so hurt by other I'm happy that people are commenting my post it makes me feel in some strange way that someone cares as much as a strange could. Her status tonight just cut me tonight more then I could imagine I guess I have no choice but to go NC but I always abuse NC for the wrong reason and I think it will make her want me and come crying back but I know thats the wrong reason I just need to find a way to cope I really think I have some separation disorder cause I know she's no good for me but I can't shake her she's like a drug I know she's no good and if she really loved me she wouldn't do that.

[Freshstart637]

Honestly, i care about people in this situation. It sucks to feel no one is there when you can't sleep at 3am and feel so alone. I've felt it all.

 

During my severe depression last week, I didn't eat, had a fever, and slept 2 hours a night. The rest of the night my mind was racing 100mph going back and forth. Asking, how, why, where, and anything else. Trying to figure out all angles. Doesn't help im in the IT dept where I solve all prpoblems. Just makes me think so much.

 

I was doing fine a couple of days ago, until she came over to pick up her last things and a quitclaim deed to give up her interest in the house.

 

I took it like a normal person and manned up. Her son cried like crazy and i held him for awhile and told him don't worry. Then I asked her to leave, we are done. She showed no emotions during this whole time. Doesn't care shes leaving the house we bought together and worked on.

 

She's evil. She had a pathetic look on her face. She did everything to avoid me for 2 weeks and she texted that night. Saying if I have been eating cuz i looked like i lost weight and she hopes we can be friends in the future. What a load of crap.

 

Shes' probably scheming how to please her guy right now. I am so done with her.

 

Working out actually really does help. I didn't feel like doing it, but decided to go ahead and sign up for the gym with a coworker. Release endorphin's really does shock your mind a bit. Takes some of the numbness out and replaces it with feelings again. Also, acceptance is really the key. Don't hope please. It really hurts if you hope and think they are coming back. Because most likely they are not.

[Calico]

She's evil. She had a pathetic look on her face. She did everything to avoid me for 2 weeks and she texted that night. Saying if I have been eating cuz i looked like i lost weight and she hopes we can be friends in the future. What a load of crap.

 

I don't think she's "evil". What probably happened here (and certainly happened to me) is that she had months of time to get over you before you even had an idea what was going on. Mine had her affair for several months and slowly detached herself from me, and when she was ready to let go, I was informed. She even said stuff like, "That one week [a while ago she was out of the country for a week], I was somewhat okay without you." It happens rarely, but the naturalness with which she said that made me speechless.

 

It's kind of surreal when you look at it with a bit of distance (which I sadly can't maintain for long, not yet anyway, it's just too fresh), and it makes me like her a bit less. I understand why she did it (it "makes sense"), and I know she has trouble being alone (I drew a wrong sense of security from that), but I just wanted to *facepalm* when she said that. I wish I would have had several months of preparation time, too, instead of getting smacked down by the news that she's cheated on me, leaving me, and already has someone new to be with! It was a completely smooth transition for her. For me? It was like getting struck by lightning on a clear day. Heck, it was more like the sun dropping right on top of my head.

 

I think that is why there is such a huge emotional discrepancy between the dumper and the dumpee. They have already detached and gone through the pain and reached a stable level of acceptance. The dumpee, who doesn't even have a choice in the matter, starts at square one and hasn't even made the first step on the journey.

[Freshstart637]

Well my ex said she was going to pick up her son and just never came back again. Never returned my calls or text, just left. Only way I got a hold of her 2 weeks after she left was letting her know its going to ruin both of our credits if we don't figure out the house problem.

[Glove_slap]

you don't just get up and decide to move on. sure, you'll wake up one day and set an ultimate goal of forgetting your ex forever but those things usually break down within days if not hours. My ex and I have been broken up for a little over two years now, and I FINALLY (2 minutes ago) stopped blaming myself for the break up. Two ****ing years! I've been thinking about this girl for two years! what a journey it's been. my entire life was flipped upside down, but now I'm not just a "stronger" person, I'm a more cautious person, I'm a smarter, more intelligent person because of her. Instead of blaming myself for the break up which I've done this entire time, I just realized that, she's just a bitch for what she did to me (broke up after three years and got with a drug dealer after a month). That's it. Our relationship wasn't exciting in the last few moments but what she did to me did not justify any of it, and you need to figure that out for yourself. If you cheated on her/him, then I'm sorry to say but you probably screwed up big time, if the relationship ended for another reason then try to dig deep and figure out what went wrong, if you can't then don't stress it, maybe nothing was wrong at all, maybe he/she was just a bitch.

[Scirok]

I'm slowly starting to get over it you could say idk if I'm lieing to myself but it's keeping a smile on my face. I'm doing what someone suggested on here and I just keep thinking about everything that bothered me about her or are relationship and when I have a sad moment or I miss her I just think of how mad I would get like the fact that she had no car and I would have to drive Everywere the fact that she had a psyco mother that would make her come home at stupid times the fact that she smoked pot when she was stressed out little things to like the way she talked or said something or even more shallow things i know this isn't the best way to look at life but like ways she dressed or things wrong with her body don't get me wrong I'm no model but just little things I think of make me smile cause i know her next boyfriend will have to put up with it and get mad. The only thing I fest next is when I hear she has a new boyfriend and thats Gonna hurt especially since she said "I just want to be alone" (ya I know it's a lie) but still gonna hurt but I'll try to keep my chin up I think about other girls this gives me a chance at to be with and try with and it makes me smile but i don't know you guys can try these ideas too even if

It only helps for a brief second it makes you happy and I read this quote and

Helps me realize that if it was meant to be it would be otherwise **** it

“Absence does to love what wind does to fire, it extinguishes the small, and enflames the great.”

[Scirok]

Hey everyone back again I was wondering if someone could help me she sent me a text on day 6 of NC and said "Hey do you want you sweatshirts" I responded with "Give them to ash or just throw them away" then she threw in what I think is breadcrumbs but I'm just nervious I hate this! "Ok I'm not gonna throw them I was jw if u wanted them" I didn't respond then she sent this "Just wanted to say I'm sorry that I was a bitch I know u don't care but I just wanted to tell u that" someone please decode that.

[patrick27]

Hey everyone back again I was wondering if someone could help me she sent me a text on day 6 of NC and said "Hey do you want you sweatshirts" I responded with "Give them to ash or just throw them away" then she threw in what I think is breadcrumbs but I'm just nervious I hate this! "Ok I'm not gonna throw them I was jw if u wanted them" I didn't respond then she sent this "Just wanted to say I'm sorry that I was a bitch I know u don't care but I just wanted to tell u that" someone please decode that.

 

In a break up I had years ago, the girl emailed me and asked what I wanted to do with some old stuff of mine she had. I told her to give the stuff away. I thought that was the end of it but she followed up with no less than 3 nasty emails saying how picky I was about it. Clearly she was using that opportunity to vent. At least she said "sorry" to you.

[Scirok]

Do you think she really meant it and was trying to talk about "us" or you think it was just breadcrumbs and she was trying to see if I was still there waiting for her