Using a crisis as an excuse to blow someone off

[irc333]

This might be a touchy subject, but I've seen this happen when people get blown off.

 

It's about someone who uses a crisis as an alternative to the ol', "I gotta wash my hair on a Sat. night" excuse.

 

They use some kind of medical or death excuse. (Not to sound insensitive, but that's the point of this post.)

 

BUT...they never use an IMMEDIATE family member, it's always a friend of a friend. They never go to extremes with "My dad's in the hospital" it's always a friend of a roomate's or something, because it doesn't sound as bad.

 

LIke I knew of a woman that said "My female friend, Diana, is going through a divorce right now, and she needs me".

 

I knew of a nurse that said she had a patient whose husband was killed in a car accident.

 

This way, the guy can't pester her with alternatives, he can SHUT right up, because if he says, "Oh, well, take your time no rush" and it ends right there.

 

As oppose to the guy saying, "oh, well, what time is good for you?"

 

Because if you keep pressing for alternative meets or perhaps question the legitimacy of the event....EVEN if she's lying.....you sound like an insensitive jerk. LOL

 

Anyone here use a crisis as an excuse to blow someone off?

[amaysngrace]

Anyone here use a crisis as an excuse to blow someone off?

 

Nope because I believe in karma.

 

I also believe in respect and treating people the way I'd like to be treated. I'm pretty straight-forward.

[TigerCub]

I've had to reschedule date due to a crisis once, but it was legitimate.

My sister had a clot in her lung. Although she was in Calgary and I live in Ottawa, so there really isn't anything I could do, even be with her at the time.

 

I still knew that I wouldn't be any kind of good/fun company because I'm worried about my sister and the danger that she was in.

 

I talked tot he guy, he understood, we postponed the date and we did go out the following week.

 

I've never used it as an excuse to back out because I didn't want to go - it was what it was and he was nice for understanding.

[irc333]

I've had to reschedule date due to a crisis once, but it was legitimate.

My sister had a clot in her lung. Although she was in Calgary and I live in Ottawa, so there really isn't anything I could do, even be with her at the time.

 

I still knew that I wouldn't be any kind of good/fun company because I'm worried about my sister and the danger that she was in.

 

I talked tot he guy, he understood, we postponed the date and we did go out the following week.

 

I've never used it as an excuse to back out because I didn't want to go - it was what it was and he was nice for understanding.

 

 

Well, it was your sister though, but I know what you mean, I have a friend that had a woman that they were seeing that had a friend's husband die....but she's stopped returning his calls completely, that's just an example, butI had similar experiences myself.

 

They use a crisis (maybe a legit one) to attempt to fade away. Usually the legit ones are not immediate family.

[TigerCub]

Well, it was your sister though, but I know what you mean, I have a friend that had a woman that they were seeing that had a friend's husband die....but she's stopped returning his calls completely, that's just an example, butI had similar experiences myself.

They use a crisis (maybe a legit one) to attempt to fade away. Usually the legit ones are not immediate family.

 

That is totally cowardly. I hate those shinanigans. I think people should just say it if they aren't interested.

 

Really? How hard is it to say "Sorry, I don't feel we're a good match and I don't want to lead you on or waste your time." instead of being passive aggressive and cowardly.

 

If more people did it the respectful way, maybe that would make for less disgruntled people.

[irc333]

That is totally cowardly. I hate those shinanigans. I think people should just say it if they aren't interested.

 

Really? How hard is it to say "Sorry, I don't feel we're a good match and I don't want to lead you on or waste your time." instead of being passive aggressive and cowardly.

 

If more people did it the respectful way, maybe that would make for less disgruntled people.

 

 

Right, and this isn't exclusive to online dating either, but all over. I have a friend that even gets asked out by women...only to have those women blow him off at the last minute for some lame reason.

[fortyninethousand322]

I had a girl once in high school tell me their best friend died as an excuse for not going on a date. At first I felt bad for her, then after it became apparent she just wasn't interested I moved on and realized it was most likely an excuse.

[somedude81]

For my 30th birthday I had plans with this girl that I've known for a good while to hang out with me after class.

 

That morning she texted me around 9 and told me that she has to cancel because her mom is in the hospital for something. And no, she didn't have any intention of visiting her mom.

 

I have no idea how major the issue was and it really didn't seem like anything that serious. But I was really hurt when she did that. If she wasn't going to see her and it was nothing major, why flake out on me on my birthday?!

[Emilia]

I have no idea how major the issue was and it really didn't seem like anything that serious. But I was really hurt when she did that. If she wasn't going to see her and it was nothing major, why flake out on me on my birthday?!

 

Because she had a million things to sort out in her mum's absence.

[somedude81]

Because she had a million things to sort out in her mum's absence.

Sorry, I don't understand what you mean by that.

[Emilia]

Sorry, I don't understand what you mean by that.

 

When someone is in hospital they can't attend to things like feeding the cat, feeding the dog, paying the bills, picking up children, deal with outstanding neighbourhood issues, cancelling arrangements, cancelling the milk, etc. Someone else has to run your household and deal with stuff when you are in hospital. It's usually the family's responsibility.

[somedude81]

When someone is in hospital they can't attend to things like feeding the cat, feeding the dog, paying the bills, picking up children, deal with outstanding neighbourhood issues, cancelling arrangements, cancelling the milk, etc. Someone else has to run your household and deal with stuff when you are in hospital. It's usually the family's responsibility.

Oh that's what you meant.

 

No that wasn't the case at all.

 

This girl lived on campus and her parents house was in a different city. She never left the college town to go back to the house.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I once had to end a date early because my dad was taken to the hospital. The guy accused me of lying and I was so hurt that I never spoke to him again. I actually liked the guy and the story was real

[veggirl]

I've used those excuses to get out of work loads of times.... dad had a heart attack, grandma died, grandpa died....... I don't do it anymore though. Fake tears and all... hah

 

Never done it for a date.

[SJC2008]

Had an OLD date cancel on me one night saying a good friend fell ill and she needs to be home or something like that to take his call lol, I did not ask her for a reschedule.