Crusoe Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I'm more worried about allegations of bestiality involving the Knights. Gotta watch out for those White Knights, they move in crooked ways. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Honestly sometimes people who play chess and especially if they are good at it become arrogant about it. I'm a sports guy, beer drinker, woman licker but I took an interest in chess when I discovered "Chessmaster" and the movie "Searching for Bobby Fischer" and it became a serious hobby to the point I was even studying openings and could beat people in minimal moves. I could feel the arrogance in myself especially when someone said they didn't know how to play. I could see how it could turn people off Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 It's a hobby of mine so if you can beat me, hot Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 My ex and me were at about the same level. It was always a huge deal who lost Whenever he lost, he had a bunch of excuses like he didn't sleep well that night Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Gotta watch out for those White Knights, they move in crooked ways. I know. Just the other day, I was dressed up in a choirboy outfit (pawn) and saw a black bishop eyeing me up. It didn't bother me. However, a white knight suddenly galloped up and stood an L away from me. "Touch her and you die!" He yelled at the bishop. However, a psychopathic Scottish castle was situated 5 fields away from him as the crow flies. The psycho-castle raced across the fields and collapsed on top of the white knight with a cry of "Die, Sir Save-a-Pawn Hahahaha!" Now as I stand motionless, other white pieces will occasionally spit on me as they fly past. "A good man died for that!" they cry. "What a waste. What a tragedy." Nobody knows my pain. Soon I'll travel to a neighbouring field where I will come into direct conflict with the black queen. Ostensibly I will be protected by the surviving "Sir save-a-pawn", but the black bishop has informed me that if I threaten his queen he will launch a suicide bombing attack to kill us both. Nonetheless, I'll make the fateful journey and die for the good of my side...because once the black bishop kills me the field will be clear for Sir Save a Pawn to place the black king and his castle into a "one of you must die. Choose" situation. Since I'm just a pawn in a choirboy outfit you won't hear anybody mourn my demise or laud me for my bravery and self sacrifice. They'll just say "stupid pawn wasn't looking where the hell she was going...but wow, just look at how Sir Lancelot has sprung into action and used his keen brain to make the best of the situation." I get so tired of that kind of piecism. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Crusoe Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I know. Just the other day, I was dressed up in a choirboy outfit (pawn) and saw a black bishop eyeing me up. It didn't bother me. However, a white knight suddenly galloped up and stood an L away from me. "Touch her and you die!" He yelled at the bishop. However, a psychopathic Scottish castle was situated 5 fields away from him as the crow flies. The psycho-castle raced across the fields and collapsed on top of the white knight with a cry of "Die, Sir Save-a-Pawn Hahahaha!" Now as I stand motionless, other white pieces will occasionally spit on me as they fly past. "A good man died for that!" they cry. "What a waste. What a tragedy." Nobody knows my pain. Soon I'll travel to a neighbouring field where I will come into direct conflict with the black queen. Ostensibly I will be protected by the surviving "Sir save-a-pawn", but the black bishop has informed me that if I threaten his queen he will launch a suicide bombing attack to kill us both. Nonetheless, I'll make the fateful journey and die for the good of my side...because once the black bishop kills me the field will be clear for Sir Save a Pawn to place the black king and his castle into a "one of you must die. Choose" situation. Since I'm just a pawn in a choirboy outfit you won't hear anybody mourn my demise or laud me for my bravery and self sacrifice. They'll just say "stupid pawn wasn't looking where the hell she was going...but wow, just look at how Sir Lancelot has sprung into action and used his keen brain to make the best of the situation." I get so tired of that kind of piecism. Well, you know these Lancelots, utterly obsessed with the Holy Grail. So consumed and blind that they fall foul of the occasional devious Princess. Tricked into fathering unwanted sons, banished from society, they wander alone in madness and despair. Broken swordsmen, cured only by a glimpse of that elusive Grail. Cruelly, they're never allowed to touch it. They console themselves in the company of other men, find another creed and cast the last rites over forbidden desires. It's a hard life, one step forward, two steps sideways. Progress is slow. It's all against them. They'll jump at a chance to sacrifice another or fell an unsuspecting King if it means they get their hands on the Grail. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 (edited) Well, you know these Lancelots, utterly obsessed with the Holy Grail. So consumed and blind that they fall foul of the occasional devious Princess. Tricked into fathering unwanted sons, banished from society, they wander alone in madness and despair. Broken swordsmen, cured only by a glimpse of that elusive Grail. Cruelly, they're never allowed to touch it. They console themselves in the company of other men, find another creed and cast the last rites over forbidden desires. It's a hard life, one step forward, two steps sideways. Progress is slow. It's all against them. They'll jump at a chance to sacrifice another or fell an unsuspecting King if it means they get their hands on the Grail. The rules are stacked against male pieces nowadays. Lack of decent role models. Just the other day I encountered a strapping young pawn wandering aimlessly around in his field. Whereas his great grandfather would have got himself a pair of horses and started ploughing the field and doing something of substance with it, this pawn was content to study a copy of Vogue and let the weeds grow around him. I asked him what he hoped to be when he grew up. He pointed in the distance. "If I can make it across those five fields" he told me "then I'll become a queen, and when that happens...watch out bitches!." It's what they're taught at school, you see. Edited September 8, 2012 by Taramere 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 There's probably a chess porn film out there somewhere Shame on me... :o:o I did it - I went to xhamster and put "chess" in the search engine. No less than seven different porn clips involving chess. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Crusoe Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 The rules are stacked against male pieces nowadays. Lack of decent role models. Just the other day I encountered a strapping young pawn wandering aimlessly around in his field. Whereas his great grandfather would have got himself a pair of horses and started ploughing the field and doing something of substance with it, this pawn was content to study a copy of Vogue and let the weeds grow around him. I asked him what he hoped to be when he grew up. He pointed in the distance. "If I can make it across those five fields" he told me "then I'll become a queen, and when that happens...watch out bitches!." It's what they're taught at school, you see. Ah, the metamorphosis. The lowly, weary pawn, tired from his travels and bitter from his shortcomings finally reaches his promised land. Stripped of his choir boy clothing. Castrated and crowned. Full of vengence and contempt. She now rampages through the fields of black and white, wagging her finger and pursing her lips as she goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I like to have a game of chess now and again, but I'm not "turned on" by it. I'm trying to imagine how a game of chess could be incorporated into some sort of sexual role playing. You'd have to have a special chess set made up of naked figures. Maybe every time one of your pieces got taken, you'd have to remove an item of clothing or perform a sex act on the other person. There's probably a chess porn film out there somewhere, where the pieces perform atrocious sex/torture acts on eachother. To be honest, though, I'd like to keep the sex out of chess. Especially as it's a game I sometimes play with other family members. I would be pleased if a male partner played it, but it wouldn't be something to get wet about. Any board game can be turned into a sex game if you try hard enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 Right now I am turned on by a guy that likes Battlestar Galactica. As for chess? Sure, why not. However, chess alone isn't going to turn on women. But if a woman already likes a guy and he plays chess, that could be cool. Link to post Share on other sites
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