Ebony123 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I'm just coming out of a very tough and unhealthy situation (please refer to my previous post for all the details.) This morning I have woken up feeling numb. I don't necessarily feel hurt or sadness, but there's just a dull/empty feeling inside. However my problem is that I can't picture myself with anybody else. I'm not attracted to anybody, I usually find myself wanting to be physical with people only when I get to know them and feel close to them on an emotional level. My ex was my first everything - first love, first lover, etc. I guess I just need some reassurance - will I meet somebody who I will love quite as much again? Will I want to be physical with anyone ever again? And will I have that spark and connection that I had with my ex? It seems so unlikely right now. (It has been a couple weeks since we ended, but this is only day 6 of NC. I'm 18 y/o)
I'm nuts Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 At 18, that's it, your love life is over, I'm sorry to say you will never find love again, you've left it to late, only the road of misery lies ahead for you. Or You can get up, dust yourself down and wait for the right person to come along because they will. Oh to be 18 again. 3
barese1 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I'm nuts is right. Not to sound patronising but at 18 you really have nothing to worry about. Yes just like the rest of us this will be hard to get over but you have PLENTY of time to meet MANY more people you will feel closer to. Just worry about getting over this but don't worry that love will never happen again. I promise you it will.
Calico Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 It's not even a matter of age. There are many, many people out there who are compatible with you, who appeal to you, who share the same interests and dreams, who are able to love and who desire to be loved. And, after reading your story earlier, many, many of them are far better matches for you than the guy you spent the past few years with. It's very normal that you cannot see yourself with anyone else right now. It will take time and healing before you'll be able to open up to someone else, and no, the next man in your life will not be like the previous one (and in your case, that is really good news!). He will be different, and he'll be great. I wouldn't try for a new serious relationship at this point. When you're healed up a little, make some new friends, hang with some guys, and see how life feels to you. Being single seems like a very scary thing right now (for me, too), but it does have some advantages: You can do what you want, you can go where you want, you can chat with who you want, you have no relationship responsibilities! None of these are what you want right now, but still, the freedom is there, even if it feels like a curse. It won't always feel that way (think of all the people who leave relationships because they badly want those freedoms). All will be well. Here, have a *kitty hug*.
I'm nuts Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Hey Calico, I'm jealous of you, wanna swap places?
geegirl Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I'm just coming out of a very tough and unhealthy situation (please refer to my previous post for all the details.) This morning I have woken up feeling numb. I don't necessarily feel hurt or sadness, but there's just a dull/empty feeling inside. However my problem is that I can't picture myself with anybody else. I'm not attracted to anybody, I usually find myself wanting to be physical with people only when I get to know them and feel close to them on an emotional level. My ex was my first everything - first love, first lover, etc. I guess I just need some reassurance - will I meet somebody who I will love quite as much again? Will I want to be physical with anyone ever again? And will I have that spark and connection that I had with my ex? It seems so unlikely right now. (It has been a couple weeks since we ended, but this is only day 6 of NC. I'm 18 y/o) Do you honestly believe that? You're only 18. A blip in the enormity of your life! We all have our firsts. And then we go one to have our second, third, fourth... Just as how you fell for your ex, you'll encounter those feelings again when the next one comes along. You can't see it that way now because he is in the forefront of your entire being. Once he is gone, your heart and mind will open up to the possibilities and opportunities that love and life will have to offer. Don't limit yourself. I'm 41. I had my first love and while I still keep him in my heart after 20 years, I've gone on to love others, break hearts and experience heartbreaks too. Life isn't ending for you. It's just beginning! Heal and move on. So much for you out there! 2
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