Why is she randomly contacting me?...

[tivoconga]

Ok, I met a girl online about 3 months ago . We initially sent several messages back and forth - she said I sounded perfect. At that point, she found out I wasn't an avid "Facebooker", and she said she didn't want to date me. This was before I met her - so while things seemed to be going well, it was a no harm, no foul kind of thing.

 

About 1-1.5 months later, she starts texting me again. At this point we finally go out - hit up a really cool festival and had a wonderful time. I get a few texts from her after breaking ways that night. Unfortunatley, at that point I left the state for a week and things seemed to slowly die down/fizzle, with ultra short texts and long call back periods...oh well.

 

That was nearly 2 months ago - generally there's no contact, but there were a few text conversations - but nothing really beyond, "how was your birthday?" kind of thing. Last contact was about a month ago...so I kind of just shoved her into the "bye-bye" category.

 

Anyhow, she starts texting me again today? What's the deal? Is she just seeking attention, attempting to friendzone me, or am I just waaay to passive in pursuing her and she's actually wanting me to step up my game?

 

I'm assuming that she's dated a variety of guys over the past few months, given that's she's really hot and online...that just makes things all the more odd.

[venusianx13]

Because you weren't an avid "facebooker" she didn't want to date you?!! Am I missing something?

 

Honestly, with that stated, I wouldn't worry too much about her. She sounds very flaky. That has to be one of the most absurd things I've ever heard in my life.

[tivoconga]

She thought I was trying to hide something...it originated from me telling her that I had a fall out with a good friend due to a picture that had been posted on FB (work didn't like seeing him at a bar on work time). At that point, I took down that picture and told my friends to not tag me in those types of photos. If she had an issue with that - strange - but to each their own...

[Maeva]

I'm assuming that she's dated a variety of guys over the past few months, given that's she's really hot and online...that just makes things all the more odd.

 

And maybe it didn't work out with those guys, and you're just another option. I wouldn't give her too much attention as she doesn't seem that interested anyways... Maybe she's only interested when she's bored or has no one else around :/

 

And that FB thing is weird...

[phineas]

Ask her?

When women fade away & come back I ask them what they want with me.

 

It really is that simple.

If they can't give me a straight answer I tell them I'm looking for someone that knows what they want.

 

I usually never hear from them again.

 

She knows what she's doing.

She knows that her fading away & coming back is wrong but she's assuming your a chump who will tolerate it and give her attention until she finds someone she really wants to be with.

[AlexCross]

Many people don't have Facebook. Jobs frown up on it. It causes drama. Just like this website some people use Facebook to live vicariously through others posts pictures likes so its not worth the hassle. Not having Facebook does not make you shady. I had Facebook and it gets annoying after a while. My real friends have my # and know how to contact me.

 

She is keeping you on the back burner. She is playing the field. Go no contact forthwith in an expeditious manner.

[truth_seeker]

 

I'm assuming that she's dated a variety of guys over the past few months, given that's she's really hot and online...that just makes things all the more odd.

 

I had the same problem with a woman. She is playing the field and is keeping you on the back burner when things are not working out with other men. As soon as another guy comes along she is interested in, she will disappear on you.

 

She will not change. DO NOT develop feelings for this woman. She is one of those women who doesn't know what she wants and changes her minds constantly.

 

If you only want to have sex with her, and do not mind playing along with her until you get something, then by all means go for it. Stay away if you're interested in any sort of LTR with her. She will only break your heart.

[AlexCross]

Here is an article that was sent to me yesterday to my whole department warning about the use of Facebook:

 

Suspensions excessive in case of firefighters, police officer

 

 

September 6, 2012 11:06:31 AM

 

OK. Where's the "don't like" button?

 

During Tuesday's meeting, the Columbus City Council approved recommended 30-day suspensions of two firefighters and a police officer for "liking" a controversial Facebook post made by another Columbus firefighter, who has since resigned in the wake of the incident.

 

Firefighters Damon Estes and Erik Minga and police officer Lance Luckey were suspended after Mayor Robert Smith broke a 3-3 vote on accepting the suspensions recommended by Fire Chief Ken Moore and Police Chief Selvain McQueen. Councilmen Gene Taylor, Joseph Mickens and Fred Stewart voted in favor of the suspensions.

 

When one considers the city has no written policy regarding social media, the severity of the suspension seems excessive. While few would argue that "liking" a post that made derogatory comments about a citizen is appropriate, the punishment seems out of proportion.

 

This is especially true when you consider the full consequences of a 30-day suspension.

 

The fire department appears to be treating the suspension as a 30-calendar-day suspension. This equates to roughly two paychecks for Estes and Minga.

 

For Luckey it appears far more severe. According to Public Information Officer Glenda Buckhalter, the police department is treating the suspension as 30 working days. Police work 12-hours shifts. They are on duty seven days out of every 14. In Luckey's case, that 30-day suspension will be twice as long on the calendar. He'll lose nearly two month's pay.

 

So, for one, a thoughtless act that took mere seconds will have consequences that last for months.

 

Social media, although hardly new, is something of a new frontier in the legal community. Are Facebook comments and "tweets" from a person's Twitter account protected speech under the First Amendment? What if they are made at work? Can a person be fired if the comments undermine a person's employer? Those sorts of questions are only now working their way through the judicial system. It seems likely that at some point, the U.S. Supreme Court will settle the matter. It should be noted that public officials are often held to a different standard than private citizens, of course.

 

But it seems only fair for the officers to know what that standard is.

 

The city still has no written policy on social media. And without a policy, there are no guidelines on punishment.

 

It is likely that if any of the three men who were suspended were aware of a written policy and the penalties associated with that policy, the incident would never have happened.

 

In the absence of such a policy, a lesser penalty seems warranted.

 

That is not what these men received.

 

The punishment does not fit the crime.

[tivoconga]

I had the same problem with a woman. She is playing the field and is keeping you on the back burner when things are not working out with other men. As soon as another guy comes along she is interested in, she will disappear on you.

 

She will not change. DO NOT develop feelings for this woman. She is one of those women who doesn't know what she wants and changes her minds constantly.

 

If you only want to have sex with her, and do not mind playing along with her until you get something, then by all means go for it. Stay away if you're interested in any sort of LTR with her. She will only break your heart.

 

Great thoughts. Truthfully, I was already essentially in no contact mode - I hadn't contacted her for weeks (same thing happened before, and then she reached out to me out of the blue). There are certainly no feelings on my end - I just find it curious and am wondering about the motivations. Agreed - it's probably a backburner thing, and truthfully, that's fine. I'm datings others and wasn't thinking about her...that's why I found it curious to hear from her...as she wasn't on my radar.