Loss Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Hi guys, So I've been dating this really nice and shy girl. On our 3rd date I unintentionally told her that I missed her and have been thinking about her. Her response was that she didn't feel comfortable talking about her feelings, but that she thinks I'm a nice guy and that she likes talking to me. Is this a bad sign? Do you think I might be friendzoned? Otherwise, the date went well and after the date she texted me and said that she had a good time and we will meet again this coming weekend. We've been in contact everyday mostly wishing each other good morning or good night.. I guess the question is what can I do to make her feel more comfortable talking about it if there's still a chance for us.
Quiet Storm Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Just be patient. Telling someone that you just met that you miss her seems kind of unrealistic. I mean you've lived your entire life without her...and after three dates you miss her? Maybe say "I really like spending time with you" instead. If you want to make her comfortable, don't be too pushy with over the top romantic declarations. Most women don't want to feel like she's your only option, and too much emotion in the very beginning can feel desperate, not flattering. Be funny, be open, be confident. Talk to her. Put your arm around her, touch her, go for a kiss. Just don't get too much into the feelings stuff yet. After three dates, she is still deciding if she likes you, if she's feeling it for you. If she feels pressured to say "I miss you too", it's going to make her uncomfortable.
oldskl Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 That could come across a bit full on telling her you miss her, after 3 dates. You may crave more of her company after the time spent with her for the first 2 dates, but missing someone sounds far too full on after such a short time with her. Don't worry, all is not lost. I unintentionally said that to a girl after 3 months and not seeing her for half a week after seeing her almost every other day. She crashed down on me like thunder and called me far too needy. I laughed, I mean, who doesn't want to be wanted in a relationship!? Lol. Don't worry. But don't do it again! It's too clingy this early on. If you have to say something, just say you enjoyed her company and you'd like to see her again, perhaps for longer!?
spiderowl Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 (edited) It is a bit soon to be saying things like that and implies neediness and not wanting to let her have her own space for long. Such declarations too soon can seem controlling. You may just be used to talking about feelings more than she is, but she's wise to be wary of early declarations like that. I can remember feeling just like that girl. I came from a family where people did not show much in the way of love or warm feelings, just occasional praise and a lot of criticism. It was considered out of order to talk about feelings. When a guy started talking to me about his feelings, it felt too much and I wasn't used to it. I did gradually get used to guys declaring feelings but for a while it scared me off and I thought it meant they wanted to get serious too fast. Maybe they did, I don't know, but to me, because of my family background, talk of feelings was scary and very serious. Keep it fairly light-hearted for a while until you both start sharing more about feelings in general and the trust builds. Then it will be easier to talk about feelings about each other. Edited September 7, 2012 by spiderowl
Recommended Posts