Zammo25 Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Have you ever moved on and dated with strong residual feelings for your ex ? How did you cope ? Did you decide to call it a day or work through it if the new person is a good partner ? After all if the ex is gone, is it not better to give the new person a real chance ? I know people will say , get over the ex first but life is not that simple and if you meet a great new person it is hard to give up on that for no reason as time should heal and you may regret ending it.
Sav Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 I did. And I end up here. With strong residual feelings for my ex, it was hard to treat the current girl right, and u knows where that ends up
Author Zammo25 Posted September 6, 2012 Author Posted September 6, 2012 The new lady is great but the ex is still there like a f*cking Monkey on my shoulder months later. I still think about her EVERY day even though she has been with another guy for 3 months now. How f*cked up is that ?
Sav Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 It just proves you're not ready to be in a relationship I guess. I made the mistake of having a rebound and now ouch, it really hurts bad. Furthermore, I've hurt another person in the process so I guess you can call it retribution on my part for being hurt so bad? I'm letting it ride out now, not going back into the dating scene till I'm truly alright
thrstn Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 In my experience rebounds never work out. This is the biggest red flag I have identified, but have been "blinded" to let go more than once... If you want to "rebound" then a casual relationship where you make it clear from the start will help, if you're up for those (I'm not). It's just not fair on the other person and it will get to you in the end... However, once exceptionally I have rebounded and then "snapped" out of it when I realized the current relationship was going to the rocks...I just forgot about my ex when that happened and truly realized the current girl was great. It still went to the rocks though :-(
g450 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Well I obsesed over my XW for at least a year and ironically my fiancee had issues with her XH as well. In fact at one time she actually went back to him and had to learn the hard leared lesson that serial cheaters never stop cheating. She came back to me after he cheated on her yet again and we are now married. In my case I gave 100 percent to my new girl and stopped obsessing about my XW. But honestly, in a case where you were married to the same person for 23 years, it's considered normal to at least think about them. Most of my own thoughts about my X are how sorry I feel for her. She threw away everything and hurt a lot of people. I hope it was worth it for her. I personally would never do that to another human being. I meant my vows both back then and now. That is how you can separate strong people from the weak ones. Its really very simple. You have to relearn how to love properly. Love yourself fist. and then only love the ones that return that love in kind. It's a lesson that took me a lifetime to learn.
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