Boyfriend of 3 years left for school to another state :(...

[chanel89]

I live in California and he left to New Mexico to play football for school. This honestly should have not been a big surprise to me since he always mentioned it during the past 3 years that he might leave...so I guess this all happened so fast and was unexpected He was called last minute to leave so I was pretty hurt.

 

Anyways, he's 21 and I'm 22 and we've been together for 3 years.

It just hurts that he isn't here. They are times where I seriously need him and I can't do anything about it. I know it's only been 2 weeks...it's going for 3 weeks this week.

 

I'm glad he went to go play because it's been his dream and he actually got what he deserves but I feel so lonely. I've tried so many things to get him off my mind..hang out with friends, work, been exercising, etc. I just think about it.

 

When he was here, we only hung out once a week but I knew he was just a phone call away.

 

It honestly sucks though

I know he's going to be here for Christmas but it seems so far away.

 

I feel he doesn't care about me. I sent him a care package and wrote him a letter...we text but not as much as before..yesterday we probably exchanged 10 texts or less..he just kept telling me he loved me...no conversation whatsoever. He didn't call me. When was here, he would call me every night and now he just doesn't call. We skyped on Tuesday night..but he didn't call me at all yesterday. I really wanted to hear his voice.

 

How does one cope with this? How many times a week is it okay to talk on the phone or something?

 

I

[pteromom]

How does one cope with this? How many times a week is it okay to talk on the phone or something?

 

I

 

That's really up to the two of you. How often does he want to talk on the phone? How often does he want to text/Skype/whatever?

 

You guys have to redefine your relationship.

 

All that said - this is a very common time for breakup. He's going to be making new friends, meeting new people, and learning a lot about himself. It's VERY common for someone away at college to decide they want to be single.

 

Maybe not - maybe he'll be the guy who waits for you all through college.

 

BUT - you never know.

 

So, to answer your other question about coping... you need to focus on the other things in your life. Your friends, your hobbies, your family, school (assuming you are going). Enjoy any time you have talking with him, but focus on the positives.

[chanel89]

That's really up to the two of you. How often does he want to talk on the phone? How often does he want to text/Skype/whatever?

 

You guys have to redefine your relationship.

 

All that said - this is a very common time for breakup. He's going to be making new friends, meeting new people, and learning a lot about himself. It's VERY common for someone away at college to decide they want to be single.

 

Maybe not - maybe he'll be the guy who waits for you all through college.

 

BUT - you never know.

 

So, to answer your other question about coping... you need to focus on the other things in your life. Your friends, your hobbies, your family, school (assuming you are going). Enjoy any time you have talking with him, but focus on the positives.

 

 

He's only going to be there for possibly two years and he's going to come back for Christmas and for the summer. His family is all here. I told him if he wanted to break up so I wouldn't ruin the experience for him and he said no way. I just feel so lonely and in the dumps without him. I wish he were here to make me feel better.

[catluvr2]

I'm kind of in the the same boat as you. Except my boyfriend is 3 hours away at college and I won't be visiting him much because I don't have a car, and he actually left his car here. What really helps me is that we communicate every day. Even if its only for 5 mins before bedtime instant messaging each other. Just be open with one another and talk about things in detail of what happens every day. Keep busy as well!!! I'm in school here and working 20 hours a week so that helps. Of course I miss him but I'm doing great coping because we talk every day. Just hang in there hun!!