aaaaaaaa Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Hi, I am new here and I would really like some help with this situation. I have known this professor for about a year. I have taken a class from him, but have also worked with him very closely on research outside of class. He's about 10 years older than me and married. When we work together outside of class sometimes I think the things he does/says are kinda weird or inappropriate. He'll do stuff like brushing my hair out of my face, and has said several times that he "forgets there's a difference in our ages." After a few months of doing research, we had a falling out, and he wanted to talk to me about why I didn't want to work with him anymore, he kept saying that he "understands there needs to be boundaries" between us. After a couple months of avoiding him, I decided to rejoin the research project. There was another student on the project doing some unethical things which I eventually had to report to him, and when I did he kept saying how happy he was that I trusted him enough to come to him. Some of these unethical things involved the student acting inapropriately towards me in the lab, and he seemed pretty angry about this but told me the student was only doing this because I was so intelligent and unusual and special. He's never mentioned his wife to me, but alot of my friends in class said he'd talk about her in office hours. He would often ask me to attend office hours, and somtimes would talk to me for the full hour about random stuff even if there were other students waiting, and he always comes up to talk to me whenever he spots me on campus, even if I'm with a group of friends. He also got my cell # from another student so he could text me if he was going to be late to a meeting, which is fairly harmless but it still seemed a little inappropriate. When I look up from taking notes in class he'll be staring at me and if he makes a joke he'll look at me and start grinning if I laugh. He's a really friendly and open person in general but it seems like some of this is a little...friendlier than normal. Just to be clear, I'm not looking for a relationship with him, I'm just super terrible at reading people/situations and I'm curious about it cuz I want to prevent more awkwardness in the future if needed.
denise_xo Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 This guy is being inappropriate. Stay away from him as much as you can, and keep clear boundaries when you need to intact. Be professional but don't encourage or allow any non academic interaction. Any relation with a married professor is a train wreck waiting to happen, and as the student you are the most vulnerable part in this.
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