What happened and is there hope?

[jerba]

I'm 22 and she is 20 and we met on a study abroad program through our university. She was extremely adamant about wanting to keep the relationship going past the summer trip and I had never been happier to hear anything in my life. Everything seemed to be going well after nearly 2 months of dating. The final 3 weeks she was on a work trip through our university so it was harder to talk because of time differences and her work schedule but we still talked daily. At the very end of her trip was the anniversary of her ex's suicide (she cheated on him and he had a history of mental illness) but after comforting her she made it a point to assure me that she hoped I didnt think it changed the way she felt about me, which it didn't. I was just glad to be there for her.

 

The next day was the last day of her trip and she was still a little distraught but after talking for a while she was cheering up. She then started to bring up when we were finally going to see each other and told me to let her know a week in advance (I was going to be out of town for the next 5-6 weeks but was going to come visit multiple times) so that she could start birth control. When I asked her when her work schedule was open she listed off some dates and I told her I was really looking to see her earlier and she brightened up and I could tell she was really happy I wanted to see her sooner. She then told me how there were some earlier times as well and we were going to plan the exact date later in the week.

 

The next day we only talked a bit at night since she was in airports and planes all day and then when she came back she asked to skype video with me and broke it off. I'm still not sure what happened, the reasons for her breaking it off made no sense (busy schedule (she knew entire schedule for work/class before we started dating even), different interests (lots of similar interests and Id already shown I was excited to try some of her other interests), we probably weren't going to last forever anyway (thats the point of relationships, you don't ever know!), and then started to try and cast doubt on the beginning of our relationship by saying maybe alcohol was too much of an influence (if anything we got together IN SPITE OF alcohol. She got blackout drunk and I had to take care of her for 3 hours in the middle of a foreign city while she threw up all over herself and cried about her ex and how I was too good for her and then I carried her back to the hotel myself at 4 am. Asked her out the next day), and then she finished it with "we only work in person" but she still really wants to be friends. I told her when she broke it off that I still really have feelings for her but I can't force her to stay with me.

 

I'm so confused, I know she had feelings for me but the only thing I can think of is that she freaked out about something. Maybe she was worried about how I would feel if she kept on displaying her feelings for her ex or she didn't want to make me go through her problems? I appreciate any advice/opinions on what could have happened or what to do next. It has been a little over 2 weeks of no real contact outside of a quick text from her (about a program's cd key if I wanted it, which she knew I already had gotten a free copy of) but nothing aside from that because I thought she might need some time to think.

 

I really want things to work out. I know she has some baggage but I care more for her than I have for anyone before and I'd gladly be there for her if I could. I just don't know whether I should wait for her to break the silence or if I should do it myself by making sure she is okay or trying to ask what happened? I was planning on sending an email soon with some pictures she wanted along with just asking how she is doing.

[jerba]

Decided to keep up no contact instead of trying to be the first to reach out. She may have gone through some problems but the way she treated me, after I helped her through them multiple times, instead of even talking about it was no way to handle it regardless of what she was feeling.