hooliganization Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. All my friends consist of single males. There is no attraction to them whatsoever. We share a platonic friendship. When we first started dating, they were the ones giving me advice and the ones who actually let me know he was acting genuinely. I'm not one to cheat... and have never done so. The thing is, it's the same for him. He says he gets along better with women. So his friends consist of girls. Although, these are girls he just so happens to meet recently, unlike my male counterparts. Because of a previous incident, we've now made it clear we can not have a friend of the opposite sex over past midnight. Recently, he hung out with a friend he hasn't seen in awhile. He first called to ask me if this would be okay. I wasn't too happy, but I said it'd be fine. I was more upset because I didn't get an invite when I always invite him when I hang out with my guy friends. His excuse is she didn't want to meet me because she says her guy friend's girlfriends always get bad vibes from her. So I have yet to meet her, and because of this I don't think I will because she refuses to. Anyways, I've never hung out with my male friends on a one on one basis for dinner and a movie. That's what they were planning on doing and it was 11 pm on Sunday. I don't know, am I being a little irrational? Is hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex on a one on one basis that late okay? I love and trust him, it's really just the girls he seems to attract and meet as friends that I don't. Especially, when they're not willing to meet me.
Mycteria Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 She should be willing to meet you. This is pushing the boundary for sure. If she's sending out bad vibes to all her "guy friend's" girlfriends, then there is probably a reason. What was the incident that led to no opposite sex friends over past midnight? 1
O'Malley Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Friends should be friends of the relationship -- you're not only introduced to them, but you primarily socialize with them as a couple. He's choosing to put this woman's feelings before yours, and it's a deal breaker that flies in the face of your prior agreement. You're not obligated to meet her if you don't want to, but you need to communicate your feelings and call him out on this crap.
navyblueskies Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Let him know how unfair this situation is. Also, you guys need to establish yourselves as a "couple" friend too, to both his friends and yours. People need to get comfortable about you guys as a couple. I agree with everyone else here. Also, you need to do things separately with your friends, but I would say not that late. If my girlfriend was hanging out with one of her guy friends that late, I would begin to wonder what's up. You have every right to. I can understand more stuff during the day. That's understandable.
Keke1 Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Let him know how unfair this situation is. Also, you guys need to establish yourselves as a "couple" friend too, to both his friends and yours. People need to get comfortable about you guys as a couple. I agree with everyone else here. Also, you need to do things separately with your friends, but I would say not that late. If my girlfriend was hanging out with one of her guy friends that late, I would begin to wonder what's up. You have every right to. I can understand more stuff during the day. That's understandable. Whatever they can do at night can be done anytime. That is if you are referring 2 what I think you were
Jane2011 Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 (edited) I had a similar situation years ago. I was in a long-term relationship with a guy, and an ex of his came into town. She and he had only dated for a month and a half, and they split on good terms (she had to move to go to art school elsewhere). I didn't see her as a big threat because they'd only dated for a month and a half. Plus, it happened that she'd since gotten married! So when she came into town, I wanted to be included when they went for coffee. But she didn't want to meet me. I thought the whole thing was a little backwards. The girlfriend is willing to meet the ex and be pleasant/cordial, but the ex doesn't want to meet the girlfriend? Kinda cray-cray... Edited September 7, 2012 by Jane2011
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