Author SJC2008 Posted September 6, 2012 Author Posted September 6, 2012 So being friendly is deceitful and "leading them on". Okay, so I guess the polite thing to do is just ice-coldly ignoring people who approached you. Even on a dating site I don't find it inappropriate to have friendly conversations just for the heck of it. Being offended by that may be a hint that life as a recluse might be for you. Just because a relationship or contact isn't what you signed up for, doesn't mean it has to be something to complain about. Rejecting all you didn't hope for, is like ordering a pizza, not getting one, and slapping a burger some nice person tries to comfort you with, out of their hand. If you want to make "friends" go to meetup.com or state in your profile you are looking to date and/or make friends. When a man gets a response from a woman on a DATING site it should be because she has romantic interest in him. Not becasue she's being nice or because " Even on a dating site I don't find it inappropriate to have friendly conversations just for the heck of it." If you don't like ignoring messages of people you're not intrested in tell them thanks and good luck or say I'm not intrested in you romantically but we could talk. @the bold part: I'm not offended by antyhing at all and read this quote from a few posts ago. "I'm going to try a different approach this time. I was usually asking for a phone number/date by emails 3-5 and never really got anywhere. I'm going to take a slower approach this time and if I lose her to someone more agressive that's the risk I'm willing to take. That being said this woman says she has to be friends first so mabye that's better for me anyway. I won't have the pressure of when to make a move or about comming on to strong, it's worth a shot I say."
Author SJC2008 Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 Ok so we're in about 8 messages a pice, things seemed like they were warming up. My last message to her I answered a queston with some depth and didn't follow with a question. She hasn't respoonded lol. Should I have asked her something else? Or should it be like an IRL conversation where both parties contribute? OTOH the man is the pursuer so should I message her agian?
Shaun-Dro Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 I think there was a thread about this before but I don't remember the responses. Anyway, I'm finding a "theme" to women online (who reply to me anyway). They don't ask questions when messaging. They just reply to my questions/conversation. What's up with that? Guys who OLD do you notice this too? Usually you'll hear that it's because they aren't interested in knowing about you but the truth is that they aren't interesting to begin with.
Author SJC2008 Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 Usually you'll hear that it's because they aren't interested in knowing about you but the truth is that they aren't interesting to begin with. I'd agree with you on this. Some may not be intrested but some are going out on dates with me so they WERE intrested, further backing up your point. The one lady I crushed on was very funny, attractive, this that and the other, but conversation was hard on the phone, I'm talking radio silence. On our first 2 dates it was pretty good but it suffered on the 3rd. Anyway, when I'd text her and ask her about stuff she did she'd answer and that's IT, like I was taking a fkn survey or something?? And of course after she answered she didn't ask me ish lol. Now she was pretty shy on the phone but being she was already in her early 30's I took it as a lack of intrest. That's still a possibility but you don't go on 3 dates with a man and take your profile down to blow smoke up his arse. Her phone communicationa, voice or text, reflected her OLD messaging style.
irc333 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 I have to concur, being that men are used to having their messages ignored on a dating site....THEN finally after a month they DO get a response from a woman...he thinks he's got her interest and thinks she's interested. Yes, on a dating site, men think if you DO respond...that you're interested (Unless of course you said, "Thanks for the message, but I'm not interested) Then he can move on. I once had a back and forth converstaion with a woman on POF a couple of times, and then concluded with, "So want to grab lunch?" And she said, "No sorry, I am not interested." And I said, "Um...so why even talk?" and she said, "I was just being friendly" So being friendly is deceitful and "leading them on". Okay, so I guess the polite thing to do is just ice-coldly ignoring people who approached you. Even on a dating site I don't find it inappropriate to have friendly conversations just for the heck of it. Being offended by that may be a hint that life as a recluse might be for you. Just because a relationship or contact isn't what you signed up for, doesn't mean it has to be something to complain about. Rejecting all you didn't hope for, is like ordering a pizza, not getting one, and slapping a burger some nice person tries to comfort you with, out of their hand.
truth_seeker Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 If you want to make "friends" go to meetup.com or state in your profile you are looking to date and/or make friends. When a man gets a response from a woman on a DATING site it should be because she has romantic interest in him. Not becasue she's being nice or because " Even on a dating site I don't find it inappropriate to have friendly conversations just for the heck of it." If you don't like ignoring messages of people you're not intrested in tell them thanks and good luck or say I'm not intrested in you romantically but we could talk. You're right. There's no point in being friendly with people on a dating website if you have no romantic interest in them. All you're doing is stringing them along.
truth_seeker Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 I have to concur, being that men are used to having their messages ignored on a dating site....THEN finally after a month they DO get a response from a woman...he thinks he's got her interest and thinks she's interested. Yes, on a dating site, men think if you DO respond...that you're interested (Unless of course you said, "Thanks for the message, but I'm not interested) Then he can move on. I once had a back and forth converstaion with a woman on POF a couple of times, and then concluded with, "So want to grab lunch?" And she said, "No sorry, I am not interested." And I said, "Um...so why even talk?" and she said, "I was just being friendly" Women on free OLD sites are there for attention. The ones on paying sites are playing the field. What's true about most of them are they have issues. That is why they are on OLD to begin with. 1
phineas Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Women on free OLD sites are there for attention. The ones on paying sites are playing the field. What's true about most of them are they have issues. That is why they are on OLD to begin with. I think it depends on age. Divorced older people with kids like me just can't go out a lot to meet people.
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