Purposely didn't ask her for a date - Good or Bad?

[oldskl]

A very attractive and intelligent girl made the first move on a dating website and messaged me last week. I don't tend to send first messages that often, I've been quite lucky that I have had more girls send to me than I have sent out. Not sure how common that is, but I suspect it means I must appear relatively like a nice guy.

 

But this particular girl made her introduction, and we have exchanged several rather long and amusing messages for a few days. She made the next move and offered me her mobile number on Friday 'incase I want it'.

 

Playing by unofficial rules on these dating sites, I didn't text her straight away and waited until Sunday evening. I got a nice long reply, and we've done more of the same funny messages a few times a day building up to several a day by text instead of the website.

 

Tonight, she asked if I'd like to chat on the phone if I was free. I made myself busy for a bit, then told her to text me when shes there and I'd call. Well, the girl called me first, right after. She seems pretty keen.

 

So, I was $hitting myself about this call. I'm awful at calls. Anyway, it was like she knew me, so very casual and not remotely awkward. That first call lasted 2hrs+. That breaks all rules of keeping it short, but it just whizzed by naturally.

 

Anyway, the aim of first calls is to arrange a date, right? Well there was a lot of future tense in her wording about how she '...should take you to this place...so you can see..'.

 

But I purposely never asked directly for a date, or a time and place to meet her. The conversation just sounded that at a point in time we'd be doing things as she was saying. Like a friend you've know years talks of taking a trip somewhere. It was unusually comfortable.

 

She kept telling me how good a cook she is, listing things she could make me (remember, no date set) but rubbish at cakes and sweets. So I told her to get the recipe books out and call me when she knows how to make a tiramisu and brownies. I figured if she was that keen, shed do something shes rubbish at to impress. I'm not an ar$se, I just thought it was playful. She got the joke!

 

So without having arranged an old school date as such, but her seeming pretty keen to progress things as much as I want to, how should I approach this? I'm 26 and quite immature for my age, and she is 27.

 

 

* Edit - After writing and reading this, I've decided I am crazy. This girl definitely likes me, the signs are there, and she is nice. I should just flipping ask what shes up to next weekend and go from there!

[spiderowl]

She's nice, you say. You like the sound of her. Don't mess her about! She's done the running so far and you are still playing games. She must really like you. She won't continue to though if you don't start to take some initiative with her. A less confident girl would probably have backed off already and dropped you, thinking you weren't interested.

 

You can still be fun, amusing and challenging to her, but be direct and honest and let her know how much you like the sound of her. To be frank, if you don't, someone else will.

[Mycteria]

Sounds like you just needed to write it out.

 

Yeah, invite her on a date. Like...one with a time. And a place.

[Ninjainpajamas]

She's on the hunt for you...she seems pretty interested and throwing a lot of things out there to peak your interest and pull in your attention.

 

It's your call at this point, she's into you enough to be pretty flexible...you can probably play these little games back and forth but you can also just be direct and she'd be all for it.

 

You'd have to do something pretty stupid to screw this up on the date. Just invite her out before you get too anxious.

[oaks]

Your next conversation with her should include a phrase like "are you free on sunday? "

[todreaminblue]

A very attractive and intelligent girl made the first move on a dating website and messaged me last week. I don't tend to send first messages that often, I've been quite lucky that I have had more girls send to me than I have sent out. Not sure how common that is, but I suspect it means I must appear relatively like a nice guy.

 

But this particular girl made her introduction, and we have exchanged several rather long and amusing messages for a few days. She made the next move and offered me her mobile number on Friday 'incase I want it'.

 

Playing by unofficial rules on these dating sites, I didn't text her straight away and waited until Sunday evening. I got a nice long reply, and we've done more of the same funny messages a few times a day building up to several a day by text instead of the website.

 

Tonight, she asked if I'd like to chat on the phone if I was free. I made myself busy for a bit, then told her to text me when shes there and I'd call. Well, the girl called me first, right after. She seems pretty keen.

 

So, I was $hitting myself about this call. I'm awful at calls. Anyway, it was like she knew me, so very casual and not remotely awkward. That first call lasted 2hrs+. That breaks all rules of keeping it short, but it just whizzed by naturally.

 

Anyway, the aim of first calls is to arrange a date, right? Well there was a lot of future tense in her wording about how she '...should take you to this place...so you can see..'.

 

But I purposely never asked directly for a date, or a time and place to meet her. The conversation just sounded that at a point in time we'd be doing things as she was saying. Like a friend you've know years talks of taking a trip somewhere. It was unusually comfortable.

 

She kept telling me how good a cook she is, listing things she could make me (remember, no date set) but rubbish at cakes and sweets. So I told her to get the recipe books out and call me when she knows how to make a tiramisu and brownies. I figured if she was that keen, shed do something shes rubbish at to impress. I'm not an ar$se, I just thought it was playful. She got the joke!

 

So without having arranged an old school date as such, but her seeming pretty keen to progress things as much as I want to, how should I approach this? I'm 26 and quite immature for my age, and she is 27.

 

 

* Edit - After writing and reading this, I've decided I am crazy. This girl definitely likes me, the signs are there, and she is nice. I should just flipping ask what shes up to next weekend and go from there!

 

 

I am glad you decided to take the plunge with your edit resotres my faith a little that men will take the plunge eventually i know its nerve wracking would it be worse though if you never knew what might happen if you did go on a date with her comfortable talking with someone is a very good beginning dont you believe for a minute that it was easy for her to be comfortable(it was most likely for yoru benefit you dotn know how she was you dotn see her over th ephone... she probably in my opinion is as nervous as you are, everybody has nerves women and men alike, people with heart fear dating lol .....dating is not easy but heres a tip its not meant to be easy when it is easy that means the emotions are not running hot so what would you prefer a hot date that sticks in your mind that you want to repeat because it felt so right and so good you didnt want it to end or a luke warm date that leaves you going meh....whose next........ the more fear you have the more important that date is to you....go for it tiger.....be the tiger.....smilin atcha....good luck best wishes and a happy memorable cant live without the memory date....i actually loathe dating by the way but i think now that is a healthy way to be..... fear sucks but you need it..deb

[oldskl]

Ah, I love it when things work out nicely for me for a change!

 

Got an unexpected call from her again tonight, no pre-warning, right after dinner. She's on the prowl or something, holy moses. Second night running, lasted well over an hour. I really should cut these shorter so we have things to talk about when I see her, I will next time, keep her keen! Mind you, she loves to talk LOL.

 

She's definitely cooking me something, its a done deal! And its cakes and brownies, her weakest link haha!

 

She's busy this weekend, as am I, but I'll ask about next weekend. She's definitely playing it cool, trying to suss me out before tying down a specific date, you can just sense it, on the cusp. She told me a few personal stories that I'd never have known beyond the dating profile, probably seeing my reaction to see the character I am. It went well I think!

 

Nonetheless, I've only ever been on one online date in my life and that became a full on relationship within 2 weeks. I'm genuinely terrified, never really 'dated', having been in two long term relationships for the last 6 years.

 

No idea why I am writing this, but reading it back is pretty reassuring. Maybe someone googles something and this post may help. Who knows! Makes my thoughts easier for sure, and it bloody beats all the sad and negative threads around!