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For the heart broken

LostGirl11

By LostGirl11
in Coping

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LostGirl11 Established Member

LostGirl11

Posted
Posted (edited)

If you're reading this then I'm geussing that you're heart broken. Night time and mornings are the worst times for me. I really feel it and I'm at my weakest.

 

What do you do in the mornings to help the pain and what do you find helps you before bed?

 

What is your routine? Have you kept to your old one or have you completely changed it?

 

I'm trying to find ways to change my routine because it brings back to many memories. It's suprising how silly little things can trigger the hurt.

Edited by LostGirl11
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CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Member

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Posted
Posted

I haven't figured out anything for mornings yet. I usually wake up depressed and just tell myself I need to get on with my day no matter how I'm feeling. So I get out of bed and brush my teeth and shower right away. By then you're feeling a little better. I feel better at nights now. What I did was order Netflix, just get caught up in a tv show series or something. That helps me get my mind off of things and keeps me entertained till I pass out.

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rosadeldesierto Member

rosadeldesierto

Posted
Posted
If you're reading this then I'm geussing that you're heart broken. Night time and mornings are the worst times for me. I really feel it and I'm at my weakest.

 

What do you do in the mornings to help the pain and what do you find helps you before bed?

 

I read 2 wonderful self-help books: Mars and Venus starting over by John Gray and the Sedona Method by Hale Dwoskin. Reading them made wonders for me. It was amazing that overnight he was not the first thought I had in the morning nor before bed.

 

 

What is your routine? Have you kept to your old one or have you completely changed it?

 

My job is a blessing... I am a teacher and the kids are very demanding. They distract me tons.

 

I'm trying to find ways to change my routine because it brings back to many memories. It's suprising how silly little things can trigger the hurt.

 

I've been struggling to this as you have no idea even I was in a LDR. I agree changing routine is good. But sure tons of little things keep triggering the hurt :(. Dunno what to say about this one.

 

Best regards

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Jingle14 Established Member

Jingle14

Posted
Posted (edited)

15 months on, it's not so much the mornings or nights now although he is still my first and last thought (and I haven't stretched my legs over to 'his' side of the bed in all that time). What's really hitting me is the onset of autumn as that's when we first embarked on our relationship (2 years ago, I've never been happier, or closer to anyone than I was with him and he said the same). It's also coming up to a year since we last spent the night together and I found out, days later, he had started seeing someone else (still with this 'person' so far as I know). I'm desperately trying to block out what lovely things he'll be planning for their anniversary - it should be our 2nd anniversary, it's just all wrong.

 

I'm struggling right now. I know he's a wrong 'un (very emotionally manipulative, calculated and cold, has the ability to totally compartmentalise his feelings) but it's not easy to break the strong attachment I had to him. Today is difficult although I am trying to ignore it, the weather feels quite autumnul even though it is sunny, and the leaves are starting to turn. I used to love this weather and this time of year and this is exactly the type of day I would have gone for a long walk on but not now as it's exactly the same as when we got together and reminds me of all the romantic walks we went on, completely wrapped up in each other and it's making me incredibly sad although I am trying desperately to be stoic.

 

I actually posted a thread a couple of days ago but didn't get any response at all. That has made me wary of posting anything else as it adds to my feeling of rejection, stupid I know.

 

I have had to change my routine to some extent as he lives and works in my neighbourhood so I choose to go a different route to avoid his office, his street etc but I have no choice in going past his parent's house as there is no other route to/from my home. I do drive the long way around, or sometimes dont go out at all, to avoid as many of 'his' places (and reminders) as possible. I long for the day when this doesn't bother me and I don't give it a thought but I genuinely don't know if that will ever happen as it doesn't seem to be changing.

Edited by Jingle14
stemac Established Member

stemac

Posted
Posted (edited)

hello jingle ...that must be really hard knowing he started seeing someone soon

after, i didn't see your post i would have responded its important that everyone on here helps each other in this really difficult time, a few people helped me when me Ex left me 4-5 weeks ago but ive got a long way to go yet before

 

i can say shes not worth it, I love this time of year, i put my washing out before

and noticed the berries on the from the tree all on the floor and the leafs started to go golden and fall, you will enjoy autumn again without thinking of him

its all about TIME the big healer :-) wish i could go see Dr Time for a quick Fix lol

 

 

stay strong jingles if you need to talk

just post:-)

Edited by stemac
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Jingle14 Established Member

Jingle14

Posted
Posted
hello jingle ...that must be really hard knowing he started seeing someone soon

after, i didn't see your post i would have responded its important that everyone on here helps each other in this really difficult time, a few people helped me when me Ex left me 4-5 weeks ago but ive got a long way to go yet before

 

i can say shes not worth it, I love this time of year, i put my washing out before

and noticed the berries on the from the tree all on the floor and the leafs started to go golden and fall, you will enjoy autumn again without thinking of him

its all about TIME the big healer :-) wish i could go see Dr Time for a quick Fix lol

 

stay strong jingles if you need to talk

just post:-)

 

Thanks, that's really kind. And only 4-5 weeks for you? Sounds like you are doing brilliantly so far though and you seem very positive.

 

Do feel free to have a look at my threads/posts if you get chance/if you want. I welcome any advice, I just want to get this out of my heart and mind.

 

And I hope you're right about my enjoying the autumn again in the future - right now, I just can't see it and am dreading the coming weeks, it all feels like big, sharp blades going right through my heart.

 

And good luck to you too :rolleyes:

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LostGirl11 Established Member

LostGirl11

Posted
  • Author
Posted
15 months on, it's not so much the mornings or nights now although he is still my first and last thought (and I haven't stretched my legs over to 'his' side of the bed in all that time). What's really hitting me is the onset of autumn as that's when we first embarked on our relationship (2 years ago, I've never been happier, or closer to anyone than I was with him and he said the same). It's also coming up to a year since we last spent the night together and I found out, days later, he had started seeing someone else (still with this 'person' so far as I know). I'm desperately trying to block out what lovely things he'll be planning for their anniversary - it should be our 2nd anniversary, it's just all wrong.

 

I'm struggling right now. I know he's a wrong 'un (very emotionally manipulative, calculated and cold, has the ability to totally compartmentalise his feelings) but it's not easy to break the strong attachment I had to him. Today is difficult although I am trying to ignore it, the weather feels quite autumnul even though it is sunny, and the leaves are starting to turn. I used to love this weather and this time of year and this is exactly the type of day I would have gone for a long walk on but not now as it's exactly the same as when we got together and reminds me of all the romantic walks we went on, completely wrapped up in each other and it's making me incredibly sad although I am trying desperately to be stoic.

 

I actually posted a thread a couple of days ago but didn't get any response at all. That has made me wary of posting anything else as it adds to my feeling of rejection, stupid I know.

 

I have had to change my routine to some extent as he lives and works in my neighbourhood so I choose to go a different route to avoid his office, his street etc but I have no choice in going past his parent's house as there is no other route to/from my home. I do drive the long way around, or sometimes dont go out at all, to avoid as many of 'his' places (and reminders) as possible. I long for the day when this doesn't bother me and I don't give it a thought but I genuinely don't know if that will ever happen as it doesn't seem to be changing.

 

I know exactly what you mean. Christmas is going to be odd for me, thats when we first started talking, he made my christmas even more special. I've always hated that time of year but last year I loved every second of it. I know that this year I'll hate it! I'll want it over asap! Such a sad way to think...

Jingle14 Established Member

Jingle14

Posted
Posted (edited)
I know exactly what you mean. Christmas is going to be odd for me, thats when we first started talking, he made my christmas even more special. I've always hated that time of year but last year I loved every second of it. I know that this year I'll hate it! I'll want it over asap! Such a sad way to think...

 

See, I've always loved Christmas, been one of those who can't wait to put the tree up and play Christmas CD's (always a tradition, pre-him, when I was married, to have all things Christmas from 1 December). Last year, I refused to acknowledge it as far as possible - didn't send cards, only put the tree up for my son and even then I put it up 2 weeks later than usual (I wasn't in a good state but I made a huge effort for my son), only bought gifts for my son. i spent Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year's Eve alone. All i could think was 'this time last year' and I knew exactly what time 'we' met, opened our gifts, what we did for the rest of the day - all blissful. 'We' bought a tree and new decorations and outside lights for his house and he bought 'good' ones as 'these will be ours in our new home next Christmas' - never happened though and he celebrated last Christmas with the b!tch who replaced me. Not sure how I'll face this one, but I do know I will celebrate it (even if through gritted teeth!) one way or another - I won't let 'him' steal it from me, he certainly wouldn't have been letting memories of me spoil his celebrations last year or this coming one!

 

I didn't even celebrate my birthday (Valentine's Day) - couldn't bear to knowing he'd be celebrating the day with 'her' and knowing he'd have bought her lovely things and be treating her as specially as he once treated me. Horrible.

Edited by Jingle14
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