JessicaxD Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 (edited) This summer (july) I made contact with me ex-boyfriend (21 years old). I'm 19. Before that he used to send me messages that he missed me and how I’m doing, but I always replied short and ignored the part where he said that he missed me. I was so happy with my boyfriend that I didn’t even had a minute to think about my ex-boyfriend. My ex and I were together for like 2 years (including some break-ups, cause he had to train a lot (soccer) for this big thing and he went on “world trip” for 2 months). Every time we broke up, we always ended up back together. It's like we really needed each other. You know, he really broke my heart a several times cause he “just couldn’t be with me anymore” because I’m not allowed to have a boyfriend (invite them at home) so he told me he never really had the chance to really get to know me (which I find nonsense), my mother would kill him! I cried myself to sleep and stared for hours at my phone waiting for a message… I never got one. Suddenly after a few months, he’s like “Hey, I missed you… how are you doing?” he acts as if nothing happened. Come on… He knows that if he’ll show up again, I’ll come running back to him. And why? Well, because he is my first true love, he thought me everything, we share the same interests, everyday we went to the movies, restaurants, we drove to such amazing places untill 2 AM, 3 AM, 4 AM… I even used to sneak out in the middle of the night from home just to be with him and to sit on a bench and cuddle while staring at the stars. I have never had so much fun with a guy and the sex was a-ma-zing! Now… during the summer I saw him now and then, but last week, he came to my street and we were talking in his car, and believe me, I was so horny as hell! He wanted me to come over to his place next week, I said okay, but when I got home I texted him that it would be better if I didn’t pass by, cause we may end up laying in bed… So, the contact just abruptly stopped. He didn’t replied, nothing. He probably invited other girls, I don’t know. But I lust after him, I can’t forget him! No one can compare to him, what we had was magical! I cried a few days ago, because I want back what we had (we used to see each other every day, and now it's like we're strangers), but I also cannot be with him, and it’s unfair to my current boyfriend because (19 years old) I really love him, but I can never love a person as much as I loved my ex… How can I forget him? What can I reply if he’ll contact me again, cause I’m SO sure he’s going to send me a message. Just ignore him? I can’t call him an **shole, cause he never cursed at me or beat me. Oh, so I already told that my ex and I had been dating for 2 years (in year 2009-2011). So I know him for 3 years now. The second year we became more ‘friends with benefits’, we no longer couldn’t be together, but we also couldn’t break up ‘cause we’re scared to see each other with somebody else. At the end, he didn’t gave me the attention and love I needed, so I met another boy and I directly fell in love with him SO I dumped my ex last year (by ignoring him and not telling him, afterwards I apologized for not saying that I had a new boyfriend). He was soooo angry at me and didn’t want to talk to me, but also missed me like hell when he didn’t had me anymore (after the break up until now he still texted me like every 2 months), he told me that he misses me sooo much, wants to kiss me and hold me tight to him and call me his baby again, and he also told me that I completely destroyed him. I thought I wasn’t even able to destroy him since he didn’t gave a sh*t about me anymore? And he can’t blame me for walking away if he didn’t do anything to make me stay right? I mean, come on, I turned from a girlfriend into a booty call... But I feel so unhappy. I have an amazing boyfriend, we have been together for 1 year, he treats me like a princess, he cooks for me, he buys me stuff, he brings me to the movies, to the sea… He would do anything for me! We booked a vacation, so in 2 weeks we’ll be leaving. But the sex is sooo bad, not that he isn’t good at it, but I just can’t enjoy the sex like I enjoyed the sex with my ex… And my boyfriend is soooo clingy and attached and not so manly/mature like my ex... So next time my ex sends me, what should I reply? I don't want to be rude and tell him to f*** off. I still want to be friends… or is that even impossible? He probably has lost all trust in me. How can I spice up things between my boyfriend and I? My sex-drive is really below zero (unlike with my ex). I keep thinking about my ex... he's so different, sexy and a real man. I always check my phone every few minutes to see if he's online, and if he is online, he doesn't talk to me anymore... It sounds weird and call me crazy, but I hope I can see us back together in a few years... Edited September 5, 2012 by JessicaxD
nothuman Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 I think ignore him. If you really want to bother him, next time he texts you say "who is this?" because he'll think you deleted the number and it will be a bust to his ego.
KatZee Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 You need to let your boyfriend go. You're not being fair to him at all. You're still completely infatuated/in love with your ex, you compare him to your ex, you're not enjoying the sex. I think you're with him because you're lonely, not necessarily because you're so into him. This isn't right. He deserves someone who's going to lust after him and who's not going to complain about his sexual skills or the fact he's not manly enough. Why don't you just have an actual conversation with your ex? And tell him how you feel? And no, it's not possible to be his friend. Just look at how you're acting! You're in no shape or form able to have a "friendship" with this guy. You even said it, you'd run right back to him. Maybe he misses you too, hell, he was saying it in the past... so why don't you just TALK to him?
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