I can't take being treated like crap anymore

[Littlewendy]

Hello all, I need to vent and hope this can make me feel somewhat better, by talking about it. I have been with my boyfriend for over two years, we have a child together. We were supposed to get married after the baby was born, but that never happened.

 

I was using an iud so getting pregnant was a total shock. I stayed in college and continued on with life. Not long after we found out I was pregnant, is when the drama started. I found out from an ex friend of my boyfriend's, that he was kind of dating some other girl behind my back. But it never went anywhere because the girl didn't like him like that.

 

I asked him about it and he told me about it, and he broke contact with her, and pleaded with me to stay. I later found text, emails, and other things between him and other women. I didn't go looking for it, he had a stalker, and she was going through his things. She had spyware on his computer and his cell phone. This is a girl he was seeing before I came along.

 

The stalker started emailing me this information. I confronted him over it, like anybody in their right mind would do. I asked him why he was talking to other girls behind my back? He stopped and deleted the girls from his facebook. A month or so later I was attacked at our apartment by his stalker.

 

Soon after that I found out he was still talking to a few other girls when he was at work on the phone and email. I have also caught him looking up girls from his past on the computer, and looking at their pictures. I asked him to please stop doing that. I just had a baby and it makes me feel like I'm not sexy enough or something. He promised me he would stop.

 

Girls he knows are still constantly trying to email him or add him on facebook. It's never ending. I have been emailed so many times on facebook from girls in his past, going off on me. Calling me names and saying some down right mean things to me. I found out the reason was because before he deleted them, he called them up and told them I was insecure and he couldn't have them on there anymore.

 

Which is not true I never said that, I have a problem with girls who were all f* buddies still hanging around. It made me uncomfortable. Well this week I have finally had enough:( I got an email from a girl that's been constantly trying to contact him. She was rude and showed no respect for our relationship what so ever. I'm so sick of being harassed my girls, it came to a head, and I deactivated my facebook the other night.

 

A friend of my boyfriends just told me the other day, that my boyfriend told him him and his friend were on his computer looking at the nudes and bikini pictures of his friend that's a girl. The girl is married and on his facebook, they did a google search for her and was looking at her myspace. I don't understand it because he promised me he wouldn't do this anymore. He told me she was just a friend. But there has been another issue with this girl in the past.

 

So I am at my breaking point, I asked him why won't he stop? He doesn't give me an answer. I told him how much this hurts me and breaks my heart. He just yells, screams and threatens me. He tells me all this is my fault, and if his friend would have shut his mouth, I would have never known. So basically he admitted he does things behind my back too. He thinks it's ok as long as I don't find out about it.

 

I'm sick of it, I'm sick of other girls always being in the picture. I'm sick of these girls emailing me. I'm mentally tired and can't deal with it anymore. Anytime I try to talk to him over it like adults, he gets mad and calls me names, and says such mean things to me. Then he breaks up with me. Every time I want to talk to him about what's hurting me he breaks up with me.

 

Then the next day he talks to me like nothing even happened. Like we are just supposed to go on as normal. I need my space right now, I need to figure out somethings. I need a BREAK from him, and all this drama. I am only human. Calling me names, doing this stuff, it's all just to much for me to handle. He says I don't fight for our relationship. The way I look at it everyone, is I been doing nothing but, fighting in and for this relationship for over two years.

 

We were supposed to get married, he tells people "we" will wait and see what happens, and makes comments like, "I have not killed her yet laughing". Those kinds of comments hurt me. I'm starting to think with everything that has happened, he has only talked to me about marriage to keep me around. But I don't think he actually plans on it. I feel like such a loser, like I'm not good enough to even be engaged too.

 

I just don't feel right living together without at least being engaged. He knows this, but he rather spend his money on guns, books, movies and everything else for himself. I felt heart broken, being pregnant with not even a ring on my finger. when people would say something about a "husband", I felt really insecure. When he is home, he goes to work comes home goes into the bedroom watches tv, and then passes out.This is everyday. On the weekends he stays in the bedroom watching tv laying in bed. I work go to class and come home cook dinner, clean. If our baby had made a mess with toys he gets mad, and said I don't do anything around here. When I'm the only one who does. He calls me a liar all the time, and when I say anything he says lies. I'm not a liar, and I know he says it because he knows it makes me mad.

 

I just can't take it anymore. I don't know what his deal is, I have tried to figure it out, but can't. I usually just let him do what he wants and keep my mouth shut. But I can't live like this anymore. He says he is unhappy with me, because I don't keep my mouth shut and let him do what ever he wants. I do keep my mouth shut about so much, but then it all builds up and I get really upset.

 

He accuses me of being on dating sites. He accuses me of all kinds of things. I don't have time, I have our baby work and school. I gave him plenty of chances and a choice. Keep doing all this or me? What's it going to be. He acts like what he's doing is no big deal, and he screamed at me telling me he was finished with me. That was the last straw. He still contacting me asking me to tell him I'm sorry and we can go from there.

 

I'm not telling him I'm sorry and that was the last time, he ever tries to threaten our relationship. Because when I told him I was "done" I really mean it with all my heart. I feel like I have been abused and put through hell and back. Unless he gets help and changes I will never take him back.

 

I love him I really do, but not enough to put up with all of this. I don't want to be in another relationship. I just want time alone and time for me and our child. Since breaking up with him two days ago, he is still contacting me like everything is ok, and nothing happened. I am about to start ignoring him. Because the things he said to me the other day were so cruel. I just don't know what else to do. I have tried everything I have pleaded with him, I have cried. Nothing makes any of this stop. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who wants other girls on the side.

 

If anyone wants to offer me advice by all means please do so. Also if you help me figure out what the deal and all the drama with the other girls are about, any help with that would be great.

[KatZee]

I'm sorry but I stopped reading halfway through. There really was no point continuing on until the end.

 

Take it as a blessing from God that this marriage didn't happen. You mentioned the marriage thing more than once in this thread, and believe me, you don't want to be married to this person, so just stop. Drop it.

 

This guy is a class act. I'm saying that with 110% sarcasm. He's a pig. He's a liar. He's a cheater. Don't for one second think he hasn't cheated on you. He has. He also doesn't even care that it hurts you. In his mind, he does what he wants, when he wants, without regard for anyone in his life. To him, it doesn't matter you've been with him two years. It doesn't matter that you had his child. He's going to do what he's going to do and that's the end of it.

 

You will NEVER tie this guy down. All of your tears, screaming, begging and pleading to stop. It just makes him sneakier. He's disrespectful, he badmouths you to past flings, he won't end communication with those he's cheated with or has hooked up with in the past.

 

He's immature. He's in no way ready for a life of monogamy, or a family life. I know it sucks because now there is a child in the picture, but it's better to raise a child FROM a broken home, than to raise a child IN a broken home. The older your child gets, the more he/she will be aware of what's going on. The more he/she will hear, and the more messed up he/she will become. This household is nothing but dysfunction, lies, drama, immaturity, other women, harassment, stalkers.

 

GET OUT. If not for you, for your child. If you're so sick of being treated like trash, THEN GET OUT. Slap him with child support, and rely on your family/friends to help you through this time. Nothing you do or say to him is going to make him change.