MW93i Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 I was seeing a girl named Rachel for nearly 2 years, I was her first love she was my second after a terrible breakup with my first love I was terrified to love again (The first one stopped loving me). I learned to love Rachel over time and fell madly in love with her. Devoted everything to her. Made promises I plan to keep and promises I still keep. Anyways, Rachel got a job a few month back we know it would be tough to see each other as she took as much overtime as she could (Her parents arent supportive with money) We rarely seen each other hardly once a week. I must have seen her maybe 4 times in 3 months (One magical moment). I could tell things were changing and ending basically, she seemed to avoid my calls and texts & always had an excuse when I approached to see her 'I'm tired' was the main one I understood because of all the work. Anyways we decided we'd have a special day together we went out for food and then the pictures, things seemed happy she reassured me things would be okay and that she loved me. When we were in the pictures she held my hand so tight looked at me and told me 'She loved me so much and started to tear up'. Anyways things started getting a bit ridiculous she constantly chose her friends over me and stopped talking to me completely (we'd speak around 15 words to each over) and it started to piss me off extremely around 3 days ago she spent a day with her gay best friend instead of seeing me and didnt talk to me at all (she has admitted she 'forgets' about me when shes out). My friend was out the same day (around 9pm) and seen her with another boy he rang me and told me that he's seen her and if we're still together I said yes ofcourse why he told me he seen her with a boy so I hung up, rang her once didnt pickup rang again she picked up she was like 'hi honey' I asked where she was and what she had been doing she told me she spent a day with her gay best friend. The phone cut off she texted me asking why I hung up. I told her I was going to bed as I was pissed off she chose a friend over me again. She told me I was immature and to grow up because she spent time with a friend instead of me. I told her I didnt care. She then proceeded to end it with me telling me how it wont work when I go to university I was distraught but knew it was the right thing to do and went along with her decision. We spoke more till she finally told me she has lost intest and stopped loving me a long time ago but held me because she didnt want to hurt me. It was happening all over again. Yes I do move to university in 19 days but she promised we would try and make it work but it wasn't part of her stopping loving me she just told me that 'it wouldn't of worked out any ways' even though she hadn't even begun trying. Anyways we ended texting as she was tired, me obviously ripped apart proceeded to plead my friends to stay awake with me through skype as sleeping was extremely hard. I couldn't stop crying. I have a great set of friends they stayed awake with me and reassured me everything would be okay. Anyways I go out with the friend who rang me and told me about seeing her with a boy, he is adamant it wasnt her gay best friend hes seen him hes around 6 foot 4 and he said the boy she was with was the same height as her 5 foot 10 and much fatter. I decide to text her asking who she was actually with she tells me and promises me it was adam she asks 'What the hell did Craig say like' I tell her, she didnt reply for 15 hours (the morning after) which put me on edge that she didnt seem to want to talk about or she just didnt care. Anyways she replied on the morning telling me it was him and I could even ask him, I do believe her. My friend admitted he could of been wrong. I just want her off my mind, shes tearing me apart I've lost my apitite and cant even swallow fluids. I feel sick. I can't sleep at all I need to be at breaking point where my body basically shuts off by its self. I can't exclude all contact with her I need to go to court with her next month as a witness (her personal seasons) so I can't block all contact. We did speak after she told me I could ask the her gay friend if she was with him I asked if she could let me know date and times and that I needed to stop contacting her as It was making it harder for myself. She seemed upset that I said that I told her to stop being like that and shes settled down. She wants to be civil about things. Wants us to still speak etc. I feel extremely betrayed and not good enough. This is a girl I've went through testicular cancer with. We were like a brick wall together. I've lost all faith in true love and relationships now. I know this is all gumbled up but hopefully you'll get the idea of what has happened and hopefully can offer some help which would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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